Forgive into Love

We’ve just moved through a major holiday in the United States - Thanksgiving - and it’s a great time to think about a difficult, yet essential topic, forgiveness. Have you heard others say these words? “He ruined my life.” “She hurt me to a degree I will never love again.” “This doctor’s misdiagnosis has caused me permanent suffering.” There are consequences for holding these beliefs for a lifetime. In this episode, we look at how we can begin to move forward in forgiveness and the positive ripples it will have in our life.

Episode Highlights

0:54 - Do you have a good barometer for how much anger and resentment you hold in your body?

2:53 - The poison I voluntarily drink

4:53 - How my judgmental loop started

6:36 - My cancer misdiagnosis

8:35 - Why it's healthy to forgive

10:23 - Tips to get started with forgiveness

14:55 - One free action that helped unlock my healing

18:31 - A closing thought from Neale Donald Walsch

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Freddie Kimmel (00:02.274)
Welcome to the Beautifully Broken Podcast brought to you by AmpCoil. I'm your host, Freddie Kimmel, and on this show, we discuss the common thread survivors share after walking through the fire, the practitioners making a difference, and the treatment modalities that deliver healing back into the hands of the people who need it most. Witness the inspiration we gain by navigating the human experience with grace, humility, and a healthy dose of mistakes. Because part of being human is being beautifully broken.

Freddie Kimmel (00:36.313)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the beautifully broken podcast. We just graciously moved through a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. And I think it's a perfect time to come back and touch on the topic of forgiveness. So I'm sure when people were away with friends and family, we experienced some triggers, as family can often do. And

My question to you is, do you have a good barometer on how much anger and resentment you hold in your body? What about rage? When I consider myself as a generally evolved human, I can experience these moments where I am very aware of how much resentment I can hold in my body. Especially when somebody crosses me, I feel like I was almost cut with a knife. Listen, if I was out there rolling this massively shady life,

I ran a sex trade industry. I voluntarily maybe didn't deliver my 20 kilos to an Escobar brother. And I met with this shiv in a prison yard. I'd understand that. That would make complete sense with me. But I'm slinging good juju and wellness vibes. And I'm singing and dancing. And I'm visiting senior centers and nursing homes. And from my point of understanding, I'm doing some self-identified as they are good things in the world. But when somebody comes at me, either it's taunting me with a horn in a fit of rose rage,

Or it's on it's on social media randomly. I have a really hard time letting go of it. Listen, there's there's a there's a few moments of raw visceral anger. But again, I'm very aware of this the resurfacing of the rage is what I'm really interested in. I don't know if rage is the right word. It might be a little bit extra. But still, I often find myself

going through the things I would have said to taunt that person an hour or even days later. Maybe I'm alone in my car or walking down the street. I'll have this little replay of the scenario with these epic verbal lashings followed by a quick little slap in the face heard around the world. But really, I want to think about this loop that I noticed coming up in myself with the self-development work. I'm more clear.

Freddie Kimmel (03:02.083)
aware when the patterns arise. And my thought is who's really hurt by the loop? Who's injured in that imaginary fight? It's me. It's my body. It's my cancer recovery. It's my immune system. Me holding hate is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill the person who upset me. So when I find myself going through a monologue of verbally destroying their weak-minded behavior, that

good versus evil, that me versus them-ism, I'm really driven into the self-help. I know it's time to do something to pull the cap off the volcano. So it's either breath work from Dan Buell or Sage Rager, yoga, specifically Kundalini for the breath work elements, meditation guided by Joe Dispenza. He's probably the master of the space between space. Look him up on YouTube if you haven't yet. And then moving weight.

Moving weight in the gym is a massive stress release for me. And while all of those do an excellent job at moving energy, they don't really deal with the original hardwiring. And what I'm interested in is why I go there and where did it start? Everybody can relate to this. Everybody's heard through a friend of a friend.

that there was some negative feedback delivered about you and it seemed as such an impossible slight that you just couldn't let it go.

But to look at my pattern, I try to imagine where it could have started. And you can do this on a, it's just an open up a notebook and start a stream of conscious thought journaling. But you wanna identify that original pattern. So for myself, I'll share here, because it's my podcast, I hated getting in trouble as a kid. I would do anything to avoid it. I'd intuit that,

Freddie Kimmel (05:05.05)
It was that little kid's desire to keep peace in a sometimes tense household. So in a household of divorce, it's very common for the oldest child to hold the space for balance, whether that's vocally or internally. Kids are very smart. They're very intuitive. And when you witness the communication lines between household figures experiencing stress, you naturally attempt to return things to balance.

with your individual skill set, whether that's with humor, whether that's with sarcasm, whether that's with storytelling. So for me, for my story, this pattern was popping up for small glimpses of me trying to keep the peace. And I think that that's that loop. But that was just really the tip of the iceberg for a program running since early childhood. How else was this affecting my life?

So when I witness other people speak words, he ruined my life.

hurt me to a degree I will never love again. My life has been truly destroyed by this doctor who misdiagnosed me and for them I'm experiencing eternal suffering. And there are energetic, mental, emotional, and physical consequences to holding that belief for a lifetime. You know when I was diagnosed with cancer in an emergency room and I had found that I had

nine tumors in my lymph nodes. There was another story because three and a half months before I actually found a primary tumor on my left testicle and I went to a free clinic that delivered healthcare.

Freddie Kimmel (07:03.942)
And in that visit, I had a doctor tell me that I shouldn't worry, that what I had found wasn't cancer. Cancer wasn't painful, so it shouldn't hurt. And to get it checked up, but there was no immediate rush. So my 26 year old body took that as the free pass. I was totally good to just blow it off or wait. And that's what I did. And because of that experience,

very simple to treat cancer with a possible just a surgery turned into you know a year of treatment and chemo and multiple surgeries. And I remember people asking me when I would tell my story, my goodness did you sue that doctor? Did you file a legal claim? Did you go follow up with him and let him know?

Freddie Kimmel (08:03.294)
And... I didn't.

I didn't. It was such a shock to the system that the only thing I wanted to do is get better. So there was some good programming there that I didn't value or revenge where I saw its lack of value inherently. But I do do forgiveness exercises based around that experience and that physician because I know there's some trauma packed in there. Which

leads me to this segue for forgiveness and a perfect topic around Thanksgiving. And forgiveness means different things to different people. However, usually it's a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge and hate and pummeling. The act that hurt or offended you, it might always be with you, it probably will be. But forgiveness can lessen the grip.

It can help free you, set you free from the control of the other person who harmed you.

Forgiveness can lead to feelings of understanding, of empathy, of compassion, specifically for the person who caused you damage. And forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused harm to you. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with your own life. So,

Freddie Kimmel (09:40.371)
At the end of day, you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. And it can physiologically make you sick. I've experienced this. I've witnessed this with friends. I've watched people be consumed by how they were wronged and what could have been a week's struggle with a guide or therapist or spiritual journey.

and maybe a little acceptance. And I've seen that turned into decades of toxic emotion, which sometimes ended in loss of life.

So I have some thoughts on forgiveness. People wanna forgive, but they don't always know how. So I'd like to offer some insight. Number one, face the truth. Speak well of and not evil. You can make an active choice to stop talking about someone who has wronged you. Spoken word gives the situation power.

And the more friends and family and inner circle you regurgitate the story to, the more powerful and massive it becomes. Have you ever been involved in an all-consuming event? I guarantee it grew to some extent with the number of people you told the story to. Whether that was online, on the phone, through text. And every time we retell a story because we're

interested in self-preservation as humans, we have a tendency to twist words and thoughts and ideas in our favor. So one truth I found is every time you go back and you tell that story, there's a little bit of manipulation happening. And if you can speak truth, if you can face truth, speak well of and not evil, that can be a really strong way to go forward.

Freddie Kimmel (11:45.703)
Even if I'm done with that exercise and I still feel like I'm angry If I'm not getting that satisfaction out of telling the story I ask source or God or Allah to move me into a place of acceptance You can pray you can sit in stillness you can breathe into a new way of being and Just say from the light inside me to the light inside you So number two is hurt people hurt people

The acid hurts the vessel more than anyone you could ever pour it on. And if knowledge is the lowest form of learning, empathy is the greatest form of learning. Empathy is one of the greatest forms of intelligence we can achieve. It is so powerful. So to create understanding around someone who may have wronged you is the true power. You know, when people approach

roles on stage or in movies and television and you're playing the foil, when you're playing the bad guy, you don't play that person as the bad guy. You approach that role with developing empathy and understanding around his plight, around his cause.

And that's why you see truly amazing, incredible actors, Robert De Niro and Leonardo DiCaprio, that they, even when they're playing a villain, they can be very charming and charismatic, almost lovable, because they've developed that story of empathy. There are many studies on forgiveness that can be measured in the physical body. There was one where they looked at a whole basketball team.

that did half hour forgiveness meditations. And every single player on the team increased their vertical jump. People who marched hills reported the climb rates being easier. If you can imagine what it feels like to unburden yourself from that sack of rocks you're carrying around, that judgment and hate and ill will, and we can see that in a vertical jump. If we can see that in a report of resilience,

Freddie Kimmel (14:01.981)
Imagine what happens on a cellular level. Okay, so number three, what would it take to forgive into love? Can you imagine the person who you are so hurt by and rules the thoughts of revenge in your head, holding you in a loving embrace? Because there's someone on the planet I guarantee that seems almost impossible for.

So just let yourself go there for a second. It's one thing to say we forgive and let the pass deliver the free hall pass. Go ahead, go and love. But what would it feel like to take that person who has wronged you so terribly and hold them in a loving embrace? And on a human experience level, let them know that they're cared for by you, even though they've wronged you.

You know, I often, I often go back to this original programming, you know, and you've got to think about that age between three and seven, because that's where a lot of it happens from a scientific standpoint. And I can remember having times of true rage towards, towards my, my dad. You know, when I was first in New York city and I was struggling, I asked for money and rent and groceries. And this pattern led to resentment.

from him and me. I'd be angry when I felt like I had no other options and when I had to go to my dad for money, it came with a reprimand, usually framed by how I was not doing good at life. You know, he watched his son fail to support himself in a career that it could have been looked at as a hobby. So from his perception, completely understandable.

Through most of my 20s, I was also very sick. You know, experiencing undiagnosed Lyme and horrible joint pain and the consistent pain in my body through most of my 20s and 30s didn't help with my lack of empathy towards anyone but myself. I remember thinking all I needed to do was move through the pain and who could be hurting more than me? So holding back feelings, emotions, telling people I love them.

Freddie Kimmel (16:21.018)
that behavior unfolded as a natural sunset of what was going on. It made perfect sense to me. But through forgiving myself, my parents, and going even further, reaching out and telling people who have stood by me in the worst times of my life, how important they were and how much I loved them and how sorry I was that I couldn't summon those words at the time, has been an incredible step in my healing. And hopefully in theirs.

You know, if look at, if we go to quantum physics, let's look at a little quantum entanglement. So quantum entanglement is a label for the observed physical phenomenon that occurs when a pair or group of particles is generated, interact, or share this spatial proximity in a way such that the quantum state of each particle of the pair or the group cannot be described independently of the state of the others.

even when the particles are separated at a long distance. So let's say we have two particles in an orbit of each other and we were to separate those by miles, hundreds of miles to apply heat to one particle. For a temperature change, the other particle experiences that shift. Now let's go meta here. Let's take for one moment that we're all back in that place of the Big Bang Theory. We're literally one rock.

and from that explosion this universe is created. So there was a time, there was a time when we were all one. There was a point where we were all connected. We are all part of the planet. We are all part of the collective. We are all responsible to engage and participate in healing our bodies, our brothers and sisters' bodies, and the global community. When we heal ourselves, we heal each other.

What about be the change you want to see in the world? What about to truly love another is to love oneself? I can keep going. We live in thought, feeling, and emotion. When we're as one, we can move the mountain. Here's a passage from Neil Donald Walsh. Give everything, require nothing.

Freddie Kimmel (18:39.918)
Make every moment of your life an outpouring of love. Use every moment to think the highest thought. Say the highest word. Do the highest deed. Embrace every circumstance. Own every fault. Share every joy. Contemplate every mistake. Walk in every man's and woman's shoes. Forgive every offense. Heal every heart.

Honor every person's truth. Adore every person's God. Protect every person's rights. Preserve every human's dignity.

Be a gift to everyone who enters your life. And to everyone whose life you enter. When someone enters your life unexpectedly, look for the gift that person has come to receive from you. I have sent you nothing but angels. I have sent you nothing but angels. When people come into our lives,

and there is a perceived hurt, there's a really good chance. Spiritual leaders point, quantum physics point, I say that that person is there to teach you a lesson that is a gift to make life better. My friends, that's it for today. That was 20 minutes of me talking. This is the beautifully broken podcast and I thank you for staying with me till the end of the show.

Namaste. Ladies and gentlemen, you made it to the end of the podcast. Now in a world where the average attention span is less than 10 seconds, we just spent almost an hour together. And I think this is the beginning of something really beautiful. Now one way to support the podcast is to head over to freddysetgo.com and check out my newly launched page, Freddy's Faves, where I've linked every five star product and healing modality you hear about on the show.

Freddie Kimmel (20:51.258)
Most offer significant discounts by clicking the link. And please note, it doesn't cost you anything extra, and at the same time, they support the show through affiliation. check out Freddie's faves on freddysecco.com. This episode of the Beautifully Broken Podcast was brought to you by our sponsor, AmpCoil, upgrading the vibrations of hearts, minds, and bodies all over the world. Thank you for tuning in. If you enjoyed today's show,

head over to iTunes and leave a five star review. Grabbing a download is like giving this virtual thumbs up that we're doing it right. And if you want to connect with me, shoot me a message on Instagram at freddysetgo.com or at freddysetgo. That's all for today. Our closing, our closing, the world is hurting. We need you at your very best. So take the steps today to always be upgrading, whatever it takes to move the needle. Remember, while life is pain, putting those fractured pieces back together is a beautiful process. I'm your host, I love you, namaste, have a wonderful day.