Lyme Disease, Alzheimer's, and the Power of the Caregiver with Nicole Bell

The Beautifully Broken Podcast was made for people like Nicole Bell.

In this Season 4 closer Nicole recounts her husband’s experience with Lyme, early-onset Alzheimers, and
chronic illness. Discover how Nicole utilized her engineering degree and background in surgical robotics to create a systems approach to caring for her husband and trying to search for a root cause.

Her book: What Lurks in the Woods is a raw and wrenching memoir that will jolt you out of the fairy tale that doctors have it all figured out. May her tragic journey of discovery help others to find their way.

I hope you may find space to pause, listen and receive all the beautiful moments that are offered in this episode.

Episode Highlights

[00:36] What being beautifully broken means for Nicole

[02:00] The actual life events that were in her book, What Lurks in the Woods

[12:31] Dealing with the frustration

[16:02] Out-of-the-box solutions Nicole and her husband tried

[17:54] A changed perception of health and vitality

[21:35] Transition experience for Nicole’s loss

[29:01] Nicole’s investment throughout her husband’s illness

[37:24] Nicole’s advice to her 2016 self

[39:21] What Nicole wanted the audience to do

[42:04] Where to find Nicole’s book

CONNECT WITh NICOLE
https://www.nicoledaniellebell.com

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (00:00.076)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Beautifully Broken Podcast. Today we are joined by Nicole Bell, author of What Lurks in the Woods? Struggle and Hope in the Midst of Chronic Illness. In this story, Nicole recounts her late husband's struggle with Lyme disease and Alzheimer's. This is a podcast you can't miss. Please sit down with a loved one. More importantly, share these episodes. The whole purpose of this podcast is to bring awareness and bring a depth of understanding

around how we can move the body forward through these terrible diagnoses and chronic conditions. This is a beautiful, beautiful podcast and we're sending all the love in the world to Nicole and her family and we are going to dedicate this episode to her husband Russ. Be well.

Welcome to the Beautifully Broken podcast. I'm your host, Freddie Kimmel, and on this show we explore the survivor's journey, practitioners making a difference, and the therapeutic treatments and transformational technology that allow the body to heal itself. Witness the inspiration we gain by navigating the human experience with grace, humility, and a healthy dose of mistakes, because part of being human is being beautifully broken.

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (01:20.642)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the beautifully broken podcast. I'm so excited for you to experience this beautiful heart centered guest today, Nicole Bell with an incredible beyond incredible story of adversity. really, Nicole, you follow this timeline where you're like, you're a perfect fit for the beautifully broken podcast. Welcome to the show. thank you for having me. I'm honored to be here. Yeah.

Can I like throw like, just throw the script at you. What is beautifully broken? Does that mean anything to you? I usually ask that as my last question and I kind of want to go there first with you. Yeah. I mean, I think that when you go through a really difficult experience, right? You, you can focus on the negatives, the why me's the, you know, what happened, but I think the beautifully broken echoes with me because

As much as my experience in our journey has been difficult, I've learned so much because of it and grown as a person and as a family. so harnessing that and making the most of it. And part of that is sharing our stories so that others can understand the journey and live differently and have a healthy outcome. So, yeah, it resonates with me because no matter how traumatic the experience is, I'm really trying to harness as much.

of the learning and the growth that we can out of it. Yeah. And your book, What Lurks in the Woods, was, I just started to jump into it in the last couple of days. Can we talk about your story a little bit this morning? Yeah. So, I mean, I was an engineer doing extremely well in my career in medical devices. had a fabulous husband who was extremely supportive. We actually met at a startup company where

We fell in love and then decided to have children. It was a little bit of a second family for him, first for me. And everything was going great. We live right outside of Raleigh, North Carolina. I love it here. And then things just kind of started to change. He got mood changes that I just really started exhibiting mood changes that I never didn't seem to fit. He was irritable. He was angry. He was anxious, you know, things that were kind of out of character, but

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (03:39.025)
Just like everything else, you kind of brush it off. You're like, oh, it's just life changes. had new children. He had stepped back from his career. think, Hey, it's, it's something else. Right. And then over time things got worse. And I realized he was starting to have cognitive problems. So in 2016, he was starting to forget basic things like the, the code to our house alarm or the time to pick up the kids. And I realized that he was having some pretty severe.

symptoms that we needed to get checked out. And he was eventually diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. And that didn't seem to make sense because he was very healthy. He was only about 60 years old at the time and extremely healthy, no genetic markers, no anything that made, you know, none of it made sense. But we kept digging and digging. And then eventually about a

15 months after he was initially diagnosed, we figured out that it was infection-based. So he had Lyme disease and two co-infections. And so the whole journey of having kind of the storybook life that gets crushed that I had to then figure out how to navigate my husband's illness and dementia is one of the hardest things in my mind to have to deal with in a loved one. And then...

dealing with the medical system where they were leading us astray and then trying to figure it out, finally figuring it out, getting treatment. I mean, the whole thing was just such an experience that I had to process it and I had to figure out how to move on, know, how to become not just broken, but beautifully broken, right? And so that led to me journaling throughout the process just to kind of process everything. And then eventually I decided to turn it into a book. So.

Once I had the time and space to do that, I poured through all my journal entries, which was a hugely emotional experience, and put it together in our story, you know, mostly for me. And then eventually I realized I was ready to share it with others so that they could learn from our experience. Yeah. If I could take you back to like, I guess it would be

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (05:50.363)
2017, 2018, when you guys finally figured out that the cognitive impairment was infection by nature. How did that come about? So, I mean, I was searching for any possible solution. You know, as I mentioned, I'm an engineer. And so when something goes wrong with a complex system, right, there's always a reason. And it's not always the first reason that you think of. And so I was researching as best as I could. And we went to neurologist after neurologist trying to figure out

what was going on and everything came up negative. All his lab results were, you know, quote unquote normal. And it didn't make any sense. But after enough doctors tell you that there's nothing you can do and that it's just early onset Alzheimer's, eventually I kind of had given up. And, you know, my husband Russ was basically like, look, if we can't fix this, we just need to plan and figure out how we're going to deal. You have to raise the kids and we have to make arrangements for.

our new reality. And so that's kind of the space that I was in. And then one morning my brother called me, actually, my mom told me to call my brother because she had talked to him and he had just figured out what was going on with his wife because she had had chronic health issues for years. And after going to doctor after doctor after doctor, they had finally met an endocrinologist that decided to get her tested for Lyme disease.

And my brother's a doctor. And so he started researching and he saw all the links between dementia and cognitive impairment and Lyme disease. And he basically said, you know, Hey, Nick, this is, think what's going on with Russ, which honestly was my first thought when we first, back in 2016, when he first started exhibiting, or at least I was first realizing he was having cognitive symptoms. was like, okay. Well, let's get him tested for Lyme disease. Cause I had done enough research to know that there was a link.

And we went to an integrative physician and had him tested with the standard Western blot and he tested negative. So we kind of got thrown off the trail. But, you know, my brother had done research and he said, well, Hey, you know, these tests are not very accurate. And it, you know, if he tests negative, doesn't necessarily mean he's not infected. Get him retested with a direct testing method using, you know, PCR, looking for the organism rather than looking for antibodies.

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (08:10.548)
And sure enough, we did. And he tested positive for Borrelia Bartonella. And then later he also tested positive for Babesia. And so that was our first, and that was the first time things made sense because, you know, Russ was a hunter. He was always in the woods. He did all of our landscaping. He'd been bitten by ticks many times, never had the rash, never had a fever, never had any joint pain until way after his cognitive pain or his cognitive issues developed.

So even though was one of the first things I thought of, once he tested negative, we were thrown off the trail and all of his symptoms were not, you know, quote unquote typical, which I now know there is no typical for Lyme, but yeah. And that was where our journey began. But as I mentioned earlier, it was 15 months after we first tested negative. And so we lost a lot of time and he had already been characterized by the neurologist as having late stage Alzheimer's.

So I was just figuring out something was wrong and they were already telling me he was in the late stages of his disease, which was really quite a shock, honestly. Where did you first look to for treatment for the Lyme? Where was the first door that you opened? Yeah. So I started, I mean, we're just based right outside of Raleigh, North Carolina. So I started researching Lyme literate doctors in the area and all of them kind of pointed to one doctor in Raleigh that we

checked out, he was very heavy into antibiotic treatment, which my sister-in-law was doing at the time and it was working for her. And so we're like, okay, let's go ahead and start getting treated. And I think that was an eye-opening experience because we had, at that point had, you know, a year and a half's worth of data of people telling us that his lab work was normal. But then of course we went in, they ran more extensive tests and they found that in addition to

You know, the Borrelia, the Bartonella, the Babesia, he also had Candida. He had high levels of heavy metals with both mercury and lead. There were just, you know, a lot of his immune system markers were off. He had elevated ferritin levels. It was just like all these things that I'm like, wow, we've been going to doctors for, you know, almost 18 months and none of this has come out. And so it was really a journey. And, you know, then we kind of started on antibiotic therapy.

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (10:30.792)
And how did it go? Did you see improvement throughout some of his treatments? Yeah. I mean, it was a rollercoaster to be honest. We saw when he first went on, it was really rough. And then he would kind of plateau into a slightly better space. A lot of, he did start having aches and pains and joint pain later in his journey. And so that would go away and he would feel good. And some of the fatigue would go away, but then we would go off antibiotics cause he was on a pulse protocol. then.

all the symptoms would come rushing back. We definitely saw improvement, but it was a lot of ups and downs. I think there was a point where we were extremely hopeful because he was starting to get rid of a lot of his physical symptoms. He seemed to be stabilizing cognitively, although I saw glimpses of improvement, but nothing ever consistent. We were hopeful, but eventually I think we started going downhill again and changed course.

tried lots of different types of treatment and that cognitive performance, could never really stabilize it or get it back. So he continued to decline from that standpoint. I've become increasingly aware of the way environmental toxicity affects my body. Now in the past, I've tested high for mercury, lead, cadmium, glyphosate, and mycotoxins from mold. Now know what you're thinking, that is a full bucket. And even worse than the list of toxins was the fatigue.

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Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (12:49.652)
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I know you've mentioned this a couple of times, the time of, know I will often do this in a talk. I'll tell my story and I abridge it in like three minutes, but at the end of the day, it was like 15 years of different treatments and surgeries. It's over a decade. And the idea that there's lost time, I'm going to say after like year two, like I would generally just walk in like projecting my frustration and anger at the establishment.

that I was working with. How did you guys deal with the frustration? Because I know, but I think maybe for the audience and people who are listening to this, what it's like to be a caretaker and then just to feel like you're the smartest one in the room, which I know I had to deal with that. I had to process that anger because it wasn't serving me after a while. Yeah. No, it's the responsibility sometimes can be crippling, right? Because you

And I think it's hard. don't know if it's harder because you can't compare and you can never really know. But when you're caring for someone else, you have all this doubt and you know, is this the right path? Is this what he would really want? Because at some, you know, at one point he started stop being able to make those decisions for himself. the frustration, like you said, of that last time that.

we went months without really knowing. And all the symptoms that I saw even almost a decade before that we just rationalized away, right? The stories that we tell ourselves. It's like, you look with that hindsight and you see, my gosh, you know, that panic attack that he had almost 10 years ago, was that our first sign? Like the mood changes that I've been exhibiting, you know, or he's been exhibiting and we've been talking about for years and going to therapy for and never getting better. my gosh, those were symptoms of depression.

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (15:05.059)
all of it. And so you question yourself constantly because you're like, you blame yourself. Well, why didn't I see? Why didn't I know? Like, especially when he got diagnosed with late stage Alzheimer's, I'm like, how is this person who's my best friend that I've been living with for the last decade plus, how did I not know? How did I not know? Right. And so all of that

guilt and anger and frustration. And then as you said, like anger with the medical establishment and why didn't they catch it? I, had been asking and probing. So that was one of the reasons I started journaling, to be honest, is I just had these huge unhealthy loops going on in my head that weren't getting me anywhere. And I found that I had to get an outlet to get it out of my head. And so it didn't solve the problem, but it definitely made it easier for me to just feel like I had an outlet.

And then when I go back and I read those entries, it's like a snapshot in time because I remember telling myself, you know, I'm okay, I'm fine. Everything's okay. I can handle it. And then I go back and read my entries and I'm like, girlfriend, you were not okay. You were really far from okay, but you can't admit it at the time because you just have to survive. Right. So, and then I think, you know, having the time and space to go through it and process that after the fact has been a gift, you know, cause a lot of people don't have that opportunity. So.

The frustration still peaks sometimes, you know, when you see something that, you know, my kids will do something that I wish my husband was there for, or they'll want to do something that I know he would have taught them perfectly and I just can't. So it still comes in waves, but you're right. It does stop serving you at some point. Yeah. When you guys were exploring this world of early onset dementia and Lyme, you mentioned we tried everything.

What were some of the things that would be considered outside of the box that maybe you tried, maybe some things that were helpful in your experience? So we did, we did, as I said, we did antibiotics, we did herbals, we did homeopathics, we were doing detox. He was doing chelation treatment for the heavy metals. We did, I think some more of that outside the box treatment where we did stem cell therapies, you know, actually from umbilical cords. So from a donor.

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (17:25.656)
That actually seemed to be very promising. And every time we did a treatment, I would see a boost in his cognitive behavior, in his mood. And so we were very hopeful that that could lead to some of the healing. You know, think antibiotics and herbals, it's like, how do you stop the infection? But then after damage has been done in your brain, it's like, well, how do you heal? And so that was something that I felt was a potential to help.

make him improve or not just stabilized because, you know, as he continued to decline, stabilization seemed less and less attractive, you know, but the stem cell therapy he really seemed to take to, and that seemed to help. And yeah, then just lots of supplements, you know, all the things, all the nutrients replacements, as I mentioned, detox, I mean, they were buckets and buckets of pills and

We were very into food first as well, like really making sure diet and exercise and all of those things, sleep, making sure we're optimizing everything. We didn't do like rife therapy and some other things that I know have been effective for other folks, but I probably would have if I had had the right exposure at the time. I was really just trying to do anything that had some science behind it that would be of a benefit. Yeah. How has this experience changed?

your perception of health and vitality and how the body works? Yeah, I think it's really I've taken the learning that I've gotten as an engineer. I mean, I worked in surgical robotics, right? So robot is a pretty complex system. you know, you realize that the human body is infinitely more complex, right? Because you have not only all of the mechanics, but all of the biochemistry and the hormones and

everything that layers on top that we're only beginning to understand, particularly the brain. mean, the brain is the least understood organ in the human body. And so the complexity of that and understanding, I have the most humble appreciation for just because we really are an amazing system. And I think the other key takeaway is just how broken our medical system is. mean, to go in

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (19:37.308)
and see a doctor for 15 minutes and expect them to unpack any sort of chronic illness, even a very simple one is impossible. so navigating that and dealing with kind of alternative therapies and realizing how much you have to own it and you have to really take the lead on your own care is daunting sometimes, right? Cause I'm not a doctor and I have some background in biochemistry and in biomedical engineering and things that make me

a little bit more suited than maybe some others, but it's difficult and that's a challenge, especially when literally it's life or death at stake. And so I've become very passionate about wellness. know, I unfortunately couldn't save Russ in his journey, but now with me and my children, it's really, do I proactively monitor my health and my immune system? How do I...

prioritize the things that are going to keep me strong in terms of exercise and food and the right supplements and so forth. And just trying to be aware of even little changes. mean, all of the symptoms that I missed along the way with Russ that I rationalized away, I try not to make that same mistake with me. You know, if you have an acre pain, if you have some anxiety or something, it's like, okay, your body's trying to tell you something. What is it? And what can I do about it? So.

I think that whole vantage point of, you know, I'm, you know, right now I'm 46 years old, right? There's not that many people that are 46 that don't have some sort of acre pain that they could complain about. so it's easy to just brush it away. But now I really try and listen to my body a lot more and make sure that I can see any of the signs sooner. And I imagine like from your food first protocol also

plays into your children's habits going forward? absolutely. mean, we're constantly, I'm trying to get them to eat the rainbow every day. even right now, my daughter has a rainbow chart and she's tracking all the fruits and vegetables that she eats. And I found my son is extremely sensitive to gluten and dairy and that leads to issues with him. so managing that through diet rather than through medication, right? I mean, I think that if we hadn't made some changes in

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (21:56.478)
how we live and how he is, then he'd probably be on some sort of ADHD medication, you know, which I'm thankful that we're able to manage it more naturally. And so the whole experience has definitely opened up my mind and my viewpoint to different ways of handling problems, which I think is a great takeaway from our whole experience. wonder, I just want to ask if you're open to it and I know

from exploring your story that it was just in 2022 that your husband passed away. So it's very recent. Yes, January. In January. My heart goes out to you sincerely. Thank you. Yeah. And the couple interviews I've listened to you do, I think it's incredible. I'm sure he's on your shoulder, smiling, honoring all that you're doing and advocating for this so other families can be more aware. If you're open to it,

What was that transition experience like for you and your family and how are you doing today? Yeah, I mean, it was kind of a double edged sword, right? In a lot of ways, there was a lot of relief because the last year or so or more actually of his life was very difficult. You know, he moved into a resident care facility in May of 2019 and once COVID hit a lot of the social interaction

went away and so he declined pretty quickly and became, you know, this person who was extremely charming and outgoing and always the life of the party became non-responsive and just completely hunched over, unable to communicate. And that was pretty much how the last year, year and a half of his journey was. And so that was difficult to watch.

And so there was a lot of relief that he was finally at peace because, you know, when he was still him, he was very clear that he didn't want to live his life that way. You know, that was, that was his biggest fear, honestly. And so it made it even more difficult to watch because you know that that wasn't how he wanted to be. So there was some relief, but then at the same time, there was a lot of grief again, cause you think that you process it and that you're ready, but I don't think you're ever ready for a loved one to pass no matter how sick they are, no matter how much.

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (24:17.522)
of a blessing it is for them to be at peace, it's still difficult. And so I've heard other people say it and I've echoed it because it's so true, like especially with someone with dementia, it's kind of like losing them twice. You lose them once right in front of your eyes and, piece by piece, and then you lose them when they finally pass on. And so I think that that when he finally passed, the finality of it hit. And then I think we ended up having a service.

At the end of April, beginning of May, we took some time because, you know, Omar Kron was crazy and we didn't want to have a celebration right in the middle of that. And we were able to really get a group of people together. And Russ had a very diverse set of friends from all walks of life. And so getting all the same people in the room was really amazing and to relive who he was because so much of him changed through the course of the disease, but to like listen to all the old stories and

remember the person that I married and the person that he could have been. Again, you know, more things swell back about what we've lost. And so it was really just a sea of emotions that kind of came and you deal with it in waves as it comes. But I think I know that he would be supportive and telling the story as much as we were private people. I've kind of gone all out there and shared all the craziness and we're going in a bestselling book. That's just the way it is. Yeah. I mean, it's.

All of the details are in there because that's what you want people to understand what it's really like. There's no sugar coating how nasty these diseases are. And so I think getting that out there and hoping that others learn from it is going to make a reason for everything we went through. Yeah, a hundred percent it will. When you think about the last few years, I'd be interested to know where did you go for your joy? You know, in the heaviness of all this, where did that pop into your life?

well, there's a lot of years where there wasn't a lot of joy, honestly. I mean, there wasn't any time for me, which I think that was probably one of my biggest failures is not prioritizing myself. And I see that in a lot of caregivers that reach out is that all of a sudden you become secondary in the process because there's just this heavy burden that you're dealing with all the time that it makes you feel almost guilty for experiencing joy and your own. But

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (26:42.31)
As a caregiver, you need to take that time and you need to make sure that you're whole so that you can take care of other people. As I've gotten more on the other side, I've kind of just rekindled things that I've always loved. I've always been athletic and I like to, you know, get exercise and get out in nature, which that's another thing that has been interesting getting back out in nature. Now with a very healthy fear of insects and biting things.

and really just trying to reclaim that trauma and saying, okay, I can be back outside in the woods and I can wear lots of bug spray and still be comfortable because there really is some PTSD there in terms of every time I see green, I'm like, my gosh, am I going to get infected too? But obviously my children bring a lot of joy. My son actually turns 12 tomorrow and my daughter is eight and a half.

watching them grow and thrive is a huge piece. And so reconnecting with friends, just making time for myself, the things that I didn't do very well in the midst of all the chaos I'm really trying to reclaim and reconnect.

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (27:56.95)
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valuable thing for people going through this or witnessing people in their community. When you're a caretaker, when you're dealing with chronic illness, the things you mentioned, searching out Lyme Litterate doctors and stem cell procedures, I know these things are generally not covered by insurance. Can you talk a little bit about the investment over the course of this illness that your family made? it's astronomical. Honestly, I've been

hesitant to add it all up because I don't want to see what the number is. But I think there's and it's really twofold because there's the cost of treatment, which, as you mentioned, none of it's really covered by insurance, but then just the cost of the decline as well. So resident care is extremely expensive and Russ was there for two and a half years. And so between that, medical treatment and then also just lost income, you know, Russ wasn't working. I stepped away from a very

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (30:18.23)
lucrative position. You know, I think the toll that is paid for caregivers is a lot of, you know, uncharted and untracked loss, you know, to our economy and to families individually. And I think that, you know, both my husband and I have been successful in our careers. And so I was able to absorb it. And most people can't, right? It's just so difficult.

to navigate and then to be dealing with financial issues and hardships at the same time that you're trying to get well, either yourself or for somebody else is just, it's a huge burden. And, you know, I've, I've talked to a lot of people that would like to get different care, but they can't because they can't afford to go outside of the traditional healthcare system. And that's just heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking. If you had a magic wand, what do you think the fix could be? I mean, I think that it's about preventative care.

Right. It's all about catching it early, particularly with cognitive illness, because, know, the best analogy that I can liken it to is like a forest fire, right. Especially with dementia, like once the fire is ravaging, it's really hard to put it out. But if you catch it early, then you can kind of quench a portion of it and you can actually rebuild and you can remap things in your brain. There's lots of research and neuroplasticity and rebuilding and therapies that you can actually.

be well, but if you don't catch it early, and it's not just that, not with just with cognitive illness, but any chronic illness, right? The worst it gets, you're going to get in these loops that are harder just to get out of. And so for me, the magic wand is taking healthy people, you know, before they get to be ill. And when you go to the doctor, they're not just checking your blood pressure and your cholesterol and just really basic things. They're actually doing a comprehensive health assessment and looking at your immune system, your metabolic health.

your cardiac health, your hormone health, all of the things that are telling you how you're doing as a human being. And then when you see something get off kilter, then you figure out why. Well, it's okay, your cholesterol is off. We're not just going to give you Lipitor. We're going to actually figure out why and we're going to change your eating habits or your exercise habits or something, you know, some nutritional deficiency or whatever it is that root cause is

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (32:39.013)
critical. And I think that's just missing in medicine. We're really good at acute care, right? You break an arm, we got that covered. You get strep throat, we got you, right? You get chronic Lyme, you get cancer, you get chronic, you know, it's just not as well laid out as a lot of other more simple cases. So that's, think what I would change would be early detection and prevention. And every time you go to the doctor, you're getting that type of care rather than just kind of a 15 minute

had on the back, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. I thought about this a lot lately. I think I would incentivize. I think the incentive system would be to keep people well. I think it would be paid doctors to not treat the sick, but actually incentivize for wellness would be a game changer. Yeah. I think that can be done. There are models of it in other countries that seem to work quite well. Yeah.

But the whole system is set up differently because, you know, most insurance carriers don't carry people for long periods of time, right? So they're not incentivized for the long term. It's just short term decisions about what the cost benefit is. And that's not in anybody's interest. And that's why I think people really need to own their own care a lot more because you have to make sure the insurance companies are not looking out for you. The doctors don't have that much time with you. And so it's really up to you to make sure that you're owning your own health. And that's...

That's challenging. So my hope is, that some of the technologies that are out there and the tools will become more available to make it readily accessible for everyone. Yeah. I'm right there with you. I think the other thing that I would just even mention to anybody that listens to this is that, you know, the, the food first hydration, sleep hygiene, breath work, nature, like though, if people, if you led with that, if that was on your list of a daily

I'm going to get a daily dose of prescription nature every single day. We would definitely be in a better place as a nation as far as our numbers of chronically ill and chronically. mean, I think the last number, it was above 400,000 people diagnosed with Lyme every year in the United States. luckily, you know, they've just started to realize that chronic Lyme is the thing. And so that will, that will evolve and that will change and more complimentary therapies will come into the market.

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (35:02.694)
But today for this generation, think people have to like really think about, you know, that's radical ownership of health. And how do you, how do you invite that in and also invite your neighbors and your family members? You know, I'm always like, Hey dad, you know, trying to people on board, just like, I know this sounds weird, but you can sit in cold water for three to five minutes and you can like totally reset your system. Even things that I never would have done before, like saunaing and

some of the supplements and so forth. Those are now central in my daily practices. Breathwork, which you mentioned, is amazing. I think breathwork was something that I got exposed to through a program that I did. It was actually a hormone revival program. And as part of that, you know, really tapping into your somatic system and calming down from any trauma that you had had. And I was very, I had done a lot of meditation and breathing that way.

But I think breath work was something that was new to me. And, you know, just like an engineer, I always go in pretty skeptical. And I'm telling you the first four five times that I did breath work, I ended up like curled over in the fetal position crying. And I was like, holy crap. What was that? Why? Like what is going on? And that was, I think, a trigger for me to realize how much my body had stored a lot of the trauma that had gone on.

I think trauma is a word that I've been hesitant to use just because, you you think of the depths of that word, right? It can mean a lot of different things, but caretaking is traumatic. Illness is traumatic and it doesn't, there's no trophy when it comes to trauma. just is. And so when I started doing breath work, I realized that it was more than just what I had talked about in therapy. Like it was actually stored in my nervous system and in my body and I had to start working that out. And so.

That's become a huge part of my, would say my second layer of healing. My first layer of healing was really just processing and dealing with it emotionally and mentally through writing the book and through reading my journal entries and going to therapy. But that second layer of really understanding my body and you know, as I mentioned, like even still today, when I go out in the woods, my heart rate elevates and you know, your body just stores the experience that you've lived. so.

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (37:26.042)
Untangling that and getting it to a healthier space is still an ongoing process, but I think it's really opened my eyes to how holistic and complex we are, you going back to the human body and how complex it is. That's really opened my eyes. Yeah. If you could go back and give yourself 2016 Nicole, some advice, what would you say to her? I mean, there's two things. One would be just don't believe the test data, keep digging, you know, and

I think I would want that for my husband. I think for me, it would be more to take care of myself. That's definitely, you know, I used to joke that the only thing lower than me on the totem pole was my car. And so I constantly like put everybody else first and to the point where when things got really bad, I felt completely broken. mean, I couldn't get through the day without crying.

I was snapping at the kids. Like I was just this raw wound that was walking around, which wasn't serving anybody. And I think I came to this realization because I always have to think through things logically, right? You're like, well, I can't do that because I don't have time and I have to do these 17 things. But, you know, eventually you realize, you know what, if you're broken, then everything you're doing is basically getting sacrificed, right? Because if I'm only 20 % of who I can be,

then every task I'm doing is getting 20 % as opposed to if I carve out an hour for myself every day and I get myself to 80 and 90%, then everything I do is now instead of getting 20 % of me is getting 80 to 90 % of me. And I think once the logical side of my head figured that out, I started really changing the way that I prioritize things and realized that it wasn't selfish to put myself first and it was actually smart and

the most important thing, but it took me breaking before I really internalized that, which I wish that I hadn't had to go through. So I think I would tell myself to not ignore symptoms and to keep pushing for my husband and then for me to make sure that I was really prioritizing myself before I ran myself down. Yeah. Yeah. I think that a lot of caretakers out there are going to hear that and I think they'll feel it.

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (39:45.139)
I love that you're doing these things for yourself and walk in the walk, food first, the breath work, because in my experience, those memories are stored in the tissue and generationally you're healing yourself and you're healing generations forward by doing that work. So that's amazing that you've discovered that and have all these great tools. What's your ask for the audience? Anybody that hears this, what would you like them to do? I think it's to

not ignore symptoms and to be in tune with your body. mean, that's really harder than it seems. you know, you, be in tune with your body. That sounds great. But that means that you have to really dig in and you have to understand. Like even just recently, I never eat. I don't eat a lot of grains. I don't eat a lot of processed foods, but I went out with a friend and I had, you know, corn chips, right? The next two days, my stomach was like sticking out. I was all bloated and I felt terrible. And I'm like, gosh, why did I do that? Like stupid things like that, that

are insults that you do to your body on a regular basis. you know, with Russ, he had years of mood issues that we just brushed off and thought that there were different reasons for. And so I think that what I would ask the audience is one, would say, read our story, because then you'll know the full depths of what can happen when you don't look and heed those early warning signs. Right. I mean, Russ was not an unhealthy person.

He was extremely physically fit. He exercised. He ate right. He did all the things that you should do. And he still became chronically ill and declined in a horrific way that ended up taking his life. And so, and for years, there were warning signs that we didn't see. And so I would want people to just to read our story and to take away from that in their life, how they can be more in tune and how they can.

just keep the people around them as healthy as possible through preventative measures and through screenings and other things that will avoid that. Because sometimes people avoid it because it's more expensive. A lot of these tests aren't covered and so forth. But I'm telling you, the cost on the other side, as I said, is way more astronomical. So everything that we had spent when he was ill, which essentially went nowhere, we could have taken a small fraction of that and done it.

Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (42:09.853)
in his early 50s, late 40s and been in a much better space. So that's what I want for me and that's what I want for others so that they can stay healthy as long as possible. Yeah. So your book, What Lurks in the Woods, Struggle and Hope in the Midst of Chronic Illness, where can people get the book?

So it's on Amazon, Barnes and Noble. So anywhere books are sold, I think you can also see more information about me and the book at NicoleDanielleBelle.com. And this is same handle on both Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn, NicoleDanielleBelle. So you can kind of see what's going on with us and the family and the book. We've been doing lots of trying to spread the word so that others can learn from our journey. Beautiful. Nicole, you have an incredible story.

I'm sending love to you and Russ and your kids. And I can't wait for people to hear this episode. think it's really going to make some profound impact and just thank you for your courage, for sharing your story. thank you. And thank you for having me on to help share our journey. And I wish you and everyone well, you know, lot of wellness and health in their journey. Yeah. Thank you for being a guest on the Beautifully Broken Podcast. Big love. Thank you.

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Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (44:27.776)
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Freddie Kimmel and Nicole Bell (44:57.474)
My friends, you made it to the end of the podcast. Can you believe this is season four? Wait, don't turn it off yet. Before you go, I have something very important I need to say. There are two ways in which we can build this relationship that we've been working on. The first one is to join me on my membership program at buymeacoffee.com forward slash freddysetgo. You get early access to all the podcasts, bonus episodes, discounted coaching, and free webinars

with thought leaders in the wellness and technology industry. The second way to support this guy right here is to go to freddysetgo.com and download the Beautifully Broken Buyer's Guide. This is my ebook. It's a collection of transformational technology, supplements, and courses that have worked for me, my clients, and my family. These are things that I have found incredibly helpful in my personal healing journey, like the Ionic Foot Bath or Amp Coil or the Red Light.

Most offer significant discounts by clicking the link or using the discount code. Now please know they don't cost you anything extra and at the same time they do support the podcast through affiliations. Friends, thank you for tuning in. If you enjoyed today's show, head over to Apple Podcasts and leave a review. Five stars if you loved it and well, I guess if you're compelled to listen to this entire thing and leave a one-star review,

I'm gonna take that too. If you want to connect with me directly, I spend most of my time on the social media platform known as Instagram at freddysetgo. Or you can find me at buymeacoffee.com forward slash freddysetgo or freddysetgo.com. And lastly, from my vast team of legal internet lawyers, which I pay a lot of money to, the information on this podcast is for educational purposes only. By listening, you agree not to use the information found here as medical advice.

to treat any medical condition in yourself or others. Always consult your own physician for any medical issues that you may be having. That's all for today. Our closing, the world is changing. We need you at your very best. So take the steps today to always be upgrading. Remember, while life is pain, putting the fractured pieces back together can be a beautiful process. I love ya. I'm your host, Freddie Kimmel.