Modern Mom's Gap Year Part 2 with Scott and Cathy Whelehan

This episode focuses on exploring modern-day relationships and guiding them on building a beautiful community within families. The couple will open up about their journey and how continuous changes in their lifestyle has helped with individual and relationship growth. They will also share the relevance of the “Modern Mother’s Gap Year” in their lives and how it has helped deepen their relationship.

Episode Highlights

3:11 How Cathy and Scott’s journey of “Modern Mother’s Gap Year” has went by

4:42 Figuring out their new healing approach due to the pandemic 

8:41 Cathy and Scott’s challenges on therapy and creating space 

12:28 How home environmental shifts has helped with their energy and their relationship

20:23 How Cathy connected with the BeLovedNow program and how it can bring healing and energy to others

28:35 On working and achieving goals in Amp Coil and how it has provide healthy changes to Scott

38:16 Their milestones during “Modern Mother’s Gap Year” and how it has become a part of their lives

57:03 How self-love and being present to yourself strengthens struggling relationships

1:04:52 Embracing space and naming the truth as frugal steps to rebuild relationships

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (00:03.308)
Welcome to the Beautifully Broken Podcast. I'm your host, Freddie Kimmel, and on the show we explore the survivor's journey, practitioners making a difference, and the therapeutic treatments and transformational technology that allow the body to heal itself. Witness the inspiration we gain by navigating the human experience with grace, humility, and a healthy dose of mistakes. Because part of being human is being beautifully broken.

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (00:37.358)
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Not that you've heard episode one, because this is an episode that we recorded during the pandemic and never released. We have our very special guests, Kathy Wheelahan and Scott Wheelahan. Welcome to the podcast. Thanks, Freddie. Thank you, Freddie. It's great to be here. It's awesome to be back. It's funny. I have been able to obviously listen to episode one. And by now, people will be hearing this. They'll have heard episode one, because we'll release them out in

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (02:54.606)
proper sequence. But just to recap for anybody coming in, this is an episode where exploring relationships, modern day relationships, alternate methods of building a beautiful nest, building community within family. Can we recap a little bit the essence behind after how many years of marriage? 26. After 26 years of marriage, examining like a door number three.

Maybe Cathy, you can recap that for us. 2020, right at the end of 2019, I had this growing feeling of just dread and unhappiness and wanting just a very deep desire for space and alone, being alone. So I, did, but I didn't want to get divorced and I really didn't want to get separated. I just wanted to have my own space. Yeah. And so I, I moved out.

But I still, we, you I still engage in family life and I stay over at the house and you know, it's a, we've worked through a whole lot during the year. Yeah. But it was a big decision and it was a painful one. you know, for both of us, for different reasons and we've had to work through and are still working through that. Beautiful. That's a great recap. And Scott, why don't you add something? Yeah. Well, I'm always, I always harken back to sort of the term we use. And I think we mentioned.

On the first episode is the modern mother's gap year. And it's been a journey. It's been a journey, but, and it's still a journey. So we're thankful to be traversing this path together and don't know where it's going to end up. I love that we're sharing it along the way. do too. we're, we're over a year after, can you believe a year went by and, we had recorded pre pandemic. So I think what's really interesting is.

You know, we had, we, you had planned to take this modern mom's gap year thinking that Cathy, would go away. You would get some space, however that looked like. we were capped that you, you went off and you'd got a different apartment. So we have these two spaces that are essentially 15 minutes from each other, basically maintaining a nest for your child that still lived at home, Riley. And that was going to be it. That was going to be the formula. You were going to have all this space.

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (05:20.952)
So maybe we can talk about some of the unexpected twists and turns that rolled out in 2020 that we just didn't plan for. Well, the pandemic hit and we were just trying to figure out the new normal and the whole world changed. So that threw us for a big old loop. Everything, financially things became a little difficult for us. We ended up deciding to put our house on the market.

So there were just all of these changes. It was just like change after change after change. And we couldn't see any of that coming. And I guess I would say that all of that change was sort of this fertile ground for growth for us as individuals, but also in the relationship. And we kind of had to dig into some of the stuff that we didn't do so well together, or maybe that like had caused the friction or the deeper problems. we

we were able to kind of approach things from a new perspective. And for me, it was hard. It was hard to do, but also incredibly rewarding because it was, I wanted to do those things with Scott and I wanted to do it better and more aligned. Yeah. You know, there's some sort of retroactive wisdom, think to retrospective wisdom to how some of these things played out.

Our daughter, Allie, who's doing great, know, sort of coincidence with the pandemic setting in and schools shutting down and going online, her health took kind of a step back. And so she ended up coming back from school and she goes to school in Hawaii, which is, you know, she's got, it's a wonderful, wonderful place and she's got a wonderful life there, needed, felt like she needed to come home. And that seemed like the right thing to do given the pandemic.

And she needed space as well. So she ended up moving in with Kathy and it gave her a chance to, she continued to attend school online, but it really, it's funny to reflect on how that would have worked if she had moved back to the house. It would have been very complicated. she needed a, she needed a healing space that didn't, wasn't associated with past trauma for her. And you know, given where we were in the relationship when

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (07:46.664)
we set off on this path. I was chatting with a friend recently and he sort of parroted back, said, wow, you know, you guys were in a bad place when this started. Imagine if you had sort of been quarantined together and you certainly hear a lot of that today where you hate to hear it, but pandemic divorces and, so a bit of a blessing, had this whole quarantine dynamic with the two spaces that, you know, obviously Cathy's space

being part of, you know, her sanctuary, but it gave, it expanded sort of our, the scope of our quarantine in a way that made, you know, I think for kind of a nice, a nice balance and allowed for all the things that Cathy referenced that we needed to really dig into, you know, gave us the space. It would have been extra challenging to do that in a quarantine single home, think. What are some of the steps that you took within 2020 essentially?

we're in 2021 now to do some of the work, right? So you kind of came up with this plan. You sketched it out on paper. You, you executed to create a little bit of space, a gap, Kathy's gap year for her to, process things for you to process things in a couple. What are some of the, the actionable steps that you guys did to do the work? we stayed in therapy and we, mean, it wasn't easy. It was.

showing up, consistently showing up, working through like blame and resentment, like years of that stuff that had piled up under the surface and just keep coming back again and again to have the difficult conversations. We had to partner on a lot of logistical life stuff. My business had to shut down because I yoga meditation. We had a studio with amp coiling sessions and we had to shut everything down. We had to rent out the whole barn. So we had to lean in.

As much as there was a desire to not have to, we had to. it was, we had some pretty doozy fights and it just kept coming back to the table, coming back to the table. And I think our intention, both of us have an intention. I mean, you can speak for you, but my intention is really to clear and continue to partner and love however the relationship looks, whatever it evolves into.

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (10:14.321)
And I think that that intention holds solid. That's how it feels to me after this whole crazy, crazy pandemic year. Yeah. The house is an interesting, Cathy mentioned, the house was a big part of what precipitated all this. mean, if we reflect now on, you know, why Cathy felt the need to leave and

I clearly played a role in it, but there was also sort of a disentanglement for her around the role that she played as mother, as husband, and as, you know, sort of de facto caretaker of, you know, our home, where the home held baggage for her. And so that was a separation. And in the process of saying, you know, for a bunch of reasons, including, you know, pandemic economic challenge,

challenges and the real estate market heating up, we said, Hey, we should put our house on the market, which the process of getting a home ready after living in it for 20 years and raising three kids was, you know, it was, it was intense. It was a lot of work. was dumpsters. Talk about working through your shit. Yes. In a literal, in a literal sense. And so that was a fantastic thing and both the process of it, but also the outcome, you know, that our home has a different

space. think Cathy often talked about this sort of energetics of accumulation and, you know, not to say that we're messy people, right? The house was neat, but you accumulate things and it, I think there was an element where I could watch Cathy feel suffocated being in the house. so clearing the space, you know, literally I sort of changed the energy of it and

You know, in a way, and I won't speak for her, but I, I suspect she's feeling a different relationship with the home. You know, we're, we sort of are falling in love a little bit with our home again. And now we're, I think, thinking that we're going to take it off the market and don't want to sell it, but what a wonderful, you know, kind of catharsis, a bit of an analogy, you know, perhaps to where the relationship goes, but cool that we had that opportunity. I think just a couple of things to unpack, you know, the, therapy was one of the tactics that you guys used to.

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (12:34.933)
forward, you stayed and continued to do that work, even though we were in a pandemic on a pretty high cadence. Scott, we'll talk about a little bit and it's some, shifts for you and as far as who you go to for that, but the home environment was fascinating for me to witness is someone living on the open sky yoga barn retreat for the whole pandemic. You know, the environment, the environmental shift

of decluttering and debunking and emptying the house of, know, just to give the audience at home perspective, like, you know, imagine 26 years of accumulating first grade projects, basketballs, books, albums, newspapers, knickknacks, trinkets, and it's, it's a large house. So, I mean, energetically, I remember walking into the house and what, what a beautiful home. And also thinking at the same time,

from a minimalist's lens, there's a lot of clutter. I actually couldn't see, I couldn't see what you guys have done with the house on the other side. I couldn't envision it. And now to experience it, it's just energetically, know, Scott, you cleaning out your office, you know, eight shelves high of all the things and, and emotionally letting go of those and helping and watching with the process of, you know, repainting, removing furniture, removing all the

the extra dishware and the covers. mean, it's incredible how that physical shift shifted the energy, not only in the dynamic of the family, but the relationship. So how have you guys felt that now on the other side? For me, it's wonderful. I love walking into the home. love it is totally it's energetically different. And I knew I knew that for many, many years. And I think

You know, the thing that's so interesting is the resentment we hold against our partners for stuff that isn't necessarily, right? It's like, we want something done and it doesn't get done. And so what do we do? We blame someone for it, right? It gave me an opportunity to lean into something that I've always wanted and partner in a way that we had never partnered before.

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (14:55.189)
So, for instance, whenever we took on a big project like cleaning out the garage, I mean, we have had dumpsters over the years and we've done projects. It's not fun. We're at each other. We're two Aries. We're fire. And we do that blame thing. And it's like, this was different. This was different. We gave each other space. Like I can remember in the depths of you cleaning out your office, know, me being the codependent over caretaker person, I came in, I was like, you

Well, I can get up on the ladder and you all that. And you just looked at me and you said, no, it's stressing me out for you to be in here and I just need some space. And I was like, okay. And I trusted that it would get done and it got done. It got done. Yeah. Yeah. In a really, really beautiful way. Yeah. It's funny that, you know, we have this nomenclature that still lives because technically the house is still on the market. You know, we want it to be show ready. So if there's a showing,

You know, we got to clean it up and right. so we, and that's our frame of reference and sort of standard has now changed where that is a norm. And not because there's a showing, it's just, wow, it feels good to have, you know, things clean on a regular basis and, to have less stuff to clean and have less stuff to clean. so, you know, I think that's the energetic shift.

Kathy and there are old patterns. if I may, like I will sometimes watch Kathy and she'll, you know, come over, we'll make dinner and she'll kind of slip into this, into some of these old patterns. And you can see sort of the resentment, you know, being pulled in from the past. And then it's like, okay, it's good. Leave it. Well, the kitchen will get cleaned, you know, and, and that, and we'll move through those moments, you know, very kind of quickly and compassionately in a way that

Those things hung over our relationship in the past, you know, these past patterns and kind of just instinctual default stories that we happily are in the process of letting go of. Yeah. want, I want to add just one thing about the, a couple of things about the, about the property, you know, again, I, I'm sure we touched on this a second, but you know, that's a very special property. Energetically, it's a vortex. You know, there's two Airbnbs, there's a yoga studio. People come to be.

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (17:18.847)
to be transformed, to be healed. There's a saltwater pool, there's a river in the backyard. was a beautiful house. So it's just got this beautiful, beautiful energy and there is something very special about it. So I think that from my perspective and experience, you guys cleaning it out, just glows. Like when Scott, you'll send pictures of the house in the snow and you know, the landscaping is all trimmed and you've redone the chicken coop or the stones in the garden.

You know, the garden's all tiered to grow your own vegetables. You know, there's, there's an energy about it and you can see the potential of this land, how special it is. And it really is more than a, it's more than a house because I've been in houses that were nice. This is very, very special out of all the places I've ever visited. So I'm sure you guys experienced that and probably, you know, like taking your car to the auto body shop and

repainting new tires, we clean out the inside. You're like, this is a really nice car. know, so it's interesting to see that. It's funny. You mentioned the, you know, the stuff or the resentment around physical things. I actually just had this experience where I had this crazy story. I'll make this really quick. When I had Airbnb in the city, I had a part of my income to pay for my chronic illness was a separate apartment that I had rented and probably the last rental I ever did.

I rented these two young guys who were so sweet and they so kind. Long story short, they ended up being really struggling with addiction, heroin. And when I came back to see the apartment after a month, there were holes in the mattresses, the bed was smashed, the furniture was smashed. mean, and they were just in these altered States where, you know, and I came in and saw it I was like, I was so mad, you know, and I remember like, and they were nice guys and I, and I, you know, they're, talked to their parents and they were

Apologetic and I really, you know, I had this incredible amount of rage over what they had done to the physical space. Cause cause it was to me, that apartment, was like this apartment saved me. That furniture saved me. had, there was an attachment to it. So I got on Facebook yesterday and I saw that one of the kids had just, he just died. He had died a liver failure at 38. And, I wrote his partner and you know, I look back at our email thread and,

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (19:38.485)
I was angry, but I was, I, I was fair, you know, but I did say, I was like, I hope you know that I always thought Robbie was such a sweet soul. I didn't hold no malice towards you smashing things in the apartment. They're just things. There was no attachment. And I mean, I just wish you all the love in the world. And, I hope his transition was a beautiful one. And he wrote me back a really nice exchange, but it's funny at the time.

the emotional charge around that apartment and those things was, I remember being in the car when I heard that it was, there was a bad situation going on and how triggered I was. anyways, it's beautiful to see you guys on the other side of this resolve for this home environment shifting. So tracking back, we've got the therapy, we've got the environment of the home shifting. What else has transitioned for you guys through this gap year? Well,

One thing that I think is just an incredible birthing is Kathy's new business, Kathy and her partner Laura, Be Love Now. And we were having this conversation yesterday about the challenges even in our evolved state of Kathy trying to get space when on the property, there's like these blocks. so, you know, looking back on all of the factors that I think

were part of Kathy's decision. And I think this was one of them. think she wanted, she knew that she wanted to birth this new business. And I suspect that you felt, and I would agree retrospectively with this observation that it might not have been possible if you were at the house. There's no way. And, you know, and it's just, it's an incredible, I mean, I haven't participated. Freddie and I would be ineligible as men at this present time.

But it's just watching and listening and, actually my son, Quinn and I are sort of doing informally offline a lot of the meditations and some of the components of the program. And it's just amazing. And I, you know, don't know that it would have happened if this had not played out as it did. Let's, let's talk about the birth of, of Be Love Now from Kathy and your beautiful business partner, Lori Young. If you could just tell the audience at home, can you encapsulate Be Love Now on your

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (22:01.141)
60 second elevator pitch? Sure. It's a healing and empowerment program of embodied spiritual practice for women ages 18 to 88, we say, and beyond. It's pretty phenomenal. We take 20 women and it's a three month program, interfaith, interspiritual. The cornerstone of it is meditation and journaling, embodied practice, daily practice and accountability in supportive community.

And again, from my experience, you know, watching you birth this program and the amount of work you put in, was incredible to watch. This is in the middle of the pandemic. You're launching a business and coming from the coaching world for 12 years and running, actually helping run a school, school of functional medicine, health coaching. I'm totally drawing a blank on my school, but that's okay. I've watched hundreds of coaches, brilliant coaches try to put together programs. And I always feel.

I always have this thing when people tell me they're going to start a coaching program. I'm like, that's cute. You're going to start a business because you're going to feel and see how hard it's so hard. It's hard. It doesn't have to be hard, but it's challenging because we get into it for different reasons, but we could break that down on another podcast. However, I think it's important to note that when you launched your program, you've done three cycles. Now you're in your third, you're in your third year. You're pretty much selling out every time.

You have some of the most phenomenal results I've ever witnessed, knowing a lot of the women that go through the program and hearing their testimonials. I mean, this is, it's very, very exciting. It's profound. You should be so proud of yourself, you know, being able to do this. How did you stepping away from the nest, the home nest allow you space for creation? think I have to back up a little bit because I want to be really transparent and

What happened for me in the months of November and December where I was like really struggling with myself in the marriage, we were slowly starting. had already, Laura and I had been working together for years teaching yoga. went to ministry together. this is, we had been evolving it. And as I had started to write, get into even the first week of honesty, I felt

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (24:24.819)
disingenuous, like I can't do, I can't start this program if I don't address what is going on in my life, in my being. And so I think that was the impetus to move, like that was really like this program. I'd be like an imposter trying to help people step into the truth of who they are and claim space for themselves if I didn't do that for myself. So I think the benefit

I didn't even see the benefit of the time and space for the program until I was actually in it. You knew you needed it. Right. I didn't kind of connect the dots with the program per se. Once coming here, I am having time and space to myself. Literally, I was in creation most of the time because I give a lot. I was giving so much energy to other people that when I actually had time and space, just the...

the ability for stuff to come through me and write and create. then Laura and I had this amazing space to do it in. It was incredibly magical. It just happened. Yeah. It's amazing. And Scott, what's been your experience to watch Kathy be able to launch such a successful program and help so many people and kind of use, you know, the magic that you've experienced for your whole lives together. We also need to back.

track. When did you guys start dating? age of 13. 13. Okay, great. near 40 years. A little bit of a track record. Yeah. What was your experience to watch this unfold? Well, to be honest, and you know, I don't get a chance to make statements like this. Kathy is, you know, far and away the most amazing, the most capable, you know, just in powerful and impactful person that I know or have ever known. And obviously I'm biased because

She's the love of my life, but that doesn't always show or shine. I've always said in whatever vocation or job that I've done along the way, it's like, you if you think about succession planning and who could do any job I've ever done, I've always said, Kathy could do this job. You know, probably better than I can, know, like she, so, it's not, again, it's that you just, there's never a cause to have conversations like this. But it's, I'm.

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (26:46.269)
sometimes not as forthcoming with feedback and praise as I should be. So that's sort of my truth. So it's been amazing to watch, but like not at all surprising or revolutionary because it's just a question of, okay, Kathy puts her mind to something and I know what's magical things are going to happen. And I've seen it in all forums, whether it's

being a mother and nurturing sick children or, you know, helping to sort of build and transform a Walmart school or, whatever we've sort of done along the way. So it's been, it, you know, it's been, I've sort of been on this, this macro head nod like, yup, there she goes doing her thing. And, you know, and I know it's been both a great accomplishment. And I do think that it's been notable for her because there is this element of

sort of being able to fly and feel unencumbered by all her roles and responsibilities of the past, you know, that are just kind of real, just part of family, motherhood, you know, everything else. And so, you know, it's been sort of this quiet, warm, kind of reassuring validation of the, you know, incredible partner that I have and proud of her as I always have been in everything she's done, but it's, it's pretty cool. I mean, I listened to the

People talk about it and, know, it's, and I watched some of the transformations, you know, sort of from a distance, and even participating in a little of it, you know, sort of passively is kind of this, you know, adjunct, you know, Quinn and I sort of auditing the classroom aside. It's just incredible. It's just incredible. It's amazing. And, and then Scott also, you know, just to just switch gears, you guys have both been very busy as far as business goes through the pandemic. Obviously you lead the.

You lead the leadership team at Amcoil as CEO of that corporation and wonderful technology that uses magnetic resonance and bio resonance sound therapy software to help people move back into balance, energetic states, many people with chronic Lyme, mold, autoimmunity, chronic fatigue syndrome find great benefit from incorporating this technology into their lives. And it's a tech company.

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (29:12.019)
And it's a tech company with not a low price point, but in the middle of a pandemic where we had unparalleled unemployment levels, very, very limited government assistance. And still you managed to steer that ship through that whole pandemic. So how has that piece of your life shown up in relation to Kathy? Well, Kathy has always been just the best wingman or wing woman.

wing person. And, you know, we really do sort of partner in most things that we do in some way, some more so than others. And so, you know, as with many things, I credit Cathy for it's like Waldorf education was an earlier sort of phase of our life that Cathy discovered and we, you know, partnered together and, kind of created, you know, I think some sort of amazing things both for our children and hopefully helped, you know, other children in our region get a Waldorf education, which

we think is so important. And I think we're both proud of being a part of that. So this was similar in that I came to AmpCoil because it's something that Cathy found to help transform our children. And I watched that happen. And, you know, when I, when Cathy goes and looks into something and researches it and gains confidence and comes back to me, it's so easy because I know it's something to take seriously. so, you know, lo and behold, AmpCoil just, you know, wow, what it did for our children. I don't know.

how life would be different had we not found it. So I'm so thankful. So when then I had the opportunity to get involved in the company, it's just was such a gift. And I'm just so thankful because to be able to do something that you're passionate about that has an impact on the world is just, I think you can't really define it except by contrast. And I have wonderful career opportunities and phases that I'm thankful for, but

the tangible difference of doing something that you've got just got conviction and passion around is just such a gift. And so here we were on sort of this transformation of the company. you know, so and this is gets to the wonderful partnership with, you know, between Freddie and I and, you know, others on our team and, you know, so proud of what we were accomplishing leading up to the time of our first

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (31:35.135)
podcast, right? So it's sort of the beginning of the pandemic when it was just, what's this COVID thing? And, know, how's this going to, and we, you know, we're involved in this turnaround. had set sales goals and, you know, March came, right. And was, and boom, we hit our sales goal right on, you know, and it was like, all right, we're here. is where we're doing exactly what we envisioned and then the pandemic hit. And so it has been.

humbling, right, to say the least, and you know, humility, which happens to be the Be Love Now theme of guiding spiritual principle of the week. You know, no shortage of humility involved in what I think has been a really intense but rewarding process of survival, right? So, you know, we know this technology just has a place in the world and not for any reasons that have to do with us or

because it's important and it's the future of wellness and it's something that will someday be mainstream and it can help so many people that we need to make sure it maintains its place in the world. And it's been a challenge, but we've done it. We've been sort shouldering through. There's a lot of things I think that we had to put on hold. In a way, there's things that we're just coming back to now.

You know, there's a, we were about to begin some really serious discussions around doing a formal study around using AmpCoil to treat the symptoms of Lyme disease, you know, with a local hospital. And obviously hospitals have had been otherwise occupied over the past year. Right? So all these things just kind of put on hold and, it feels like it's been sort of this year of pause and, but we're, you know, we're

kind of coming out the other side. And so there's, great things ahead. But we're, you know, I think sort of reinvigorated and energized by just the, the guile and the force of, of humility and survival. And, and we're so, so much stronger for it. And, know, so coming back to Kathy, she, continues to be someone who, you know, we all sort of involve at times because she has

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (33:57.973)
just such a perspective and, you know, kind of insight around the technology and how we use it. And so it again feels from a relationship perspective, like something that is, if we were to kind of rewrite that mission statement that used to hang over our bed before we clean the house that you can't read, it was a lot about the great things that we do when we come together and partner, the things that we can kind of bring to the world. so it feels totally kind of on mission.

for what she and I kind of aspire to do together, which I'm very thankful for. How is Scott, Amp Coil Scott different from Pricewaterhouse, IBM Scott, two other careers that Scott Well, I would say this piece of passion and commitment to the cause of it is huge. And it's been a process. I think in the beginning, he...

was similarly approaching. For me, in my perspective, my lived experience, there's a little bit of workaholism or stress. There's a of stress, like Scott, there's a stress sort of like train that I felt I was on with him based on his work. this has been a very interesting year because in the beginning I

And one of the reasons why I left was I had to separate myself out to understand what my contribution to the problem was, because of course I thought his was so glaring. once I did that and I got to see my co-dependent tendencies, the things, the ways in which I contribute to the problem, I think, and that distance enabled both of us to take more responsibility for ourselves. And what I saw in Scott was a commitment to like,

to having better work boundaries to, and also because the technology is about wellness, there's an aspect of how can you lead a company if you're not really committed to balanced living? So I watched and I wasn't there anymore to be the one like, you know, you're not doing this or you should, you know, there's that dynamic in the, so now Scott took on his life and role and I watched this change and

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (36:20.876)
super healthy and had nothing to do with me per se. I've especially watched once, mean, the pandemic was stressful. mean, that whole part in spring, and this is why we never did another podcast. just kept rolling. But what I'm noticing is really since the cleaning up of the house and putting the house on the market, just a real shift in the way that you approach your commitment to yourself really is what it comes down to. How am I? And this is really what the Be Love Now program is about.

your relationship with yourself and source. And so we're having these deeper conversations and interesting, and I think it's all related, like the job and how you show up in the job and how we show up as parents and relationship. We can now have difficult conversations, agree to disagree, step back, own, like we can have a really heated conversation and walk away for the first time and not take it on. It's like,

Okay. All right. That's how you feel about that. Okay. I agree to disagree with you. This is my lived experience and we're going to be okay with that. And that's, it's a big, that's a huge shift for us. And I think, I think it's come through this year of, you know, me building this business and having to walk my talk and Scott leaning in full, full onto Amcoil and having to walk his talk and then us meeting in the middle. And it's a different space.

It's kind of like I say to people all the time, we don't want, it's not a Venn diagram in a relationship. It's not like, you complete me and where we cross over. And it's really that we're two holes unto ourselves, sufficient unto ourselves. And the third is the relationship. It's actually a separate entity. And that's what it feels like. We're more in that space. So getting really just logistics, you've

had your gap year. Gap year's over, Cathy. So, so where now? Yeah, that was a hard transition in January. Scott was kind of like, well, well, I just, I have to speak my truth. You know, now that I've had the space, I need the space. The space is part of who I have become. So, and with the house on the market and all the uncertainty and everything, it just made sense to keep going. But

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (38:49.551)
It's who I am, part of who I am now. I don't know if I will always need that, but it's really important to me. It's how I recharge my battery. It's how I offer to the world. It's how I connect to my deeper inner knowing. It's how, and I'm getting better at boundaries and understanding, but even just the other day, I had this experience over at the house, like, why do I do that to myself? Why do I over give to my family?

And I, when I come here, it's not a question, obviously, because I only have myself to take care of. But if this is like a healing process, I feel that I'm in after years and years and years of chronically ill children, myself being chronically ill, giving, giving, in a survival. feel like this is the sort of unraveling and healing of all of that. And I'm still in it. That's a super interesting question that, you know, that you brought it up, right? Gap year, right? It's the sort of defined as a year. Well,

The reality is what is making it easy for me, because I've sort of got two perspectives on this, is we have got so many things up in the air in a way that's wonderful and welcome. You know, we were going to sell the house. Now we think we probably will not sell the house. We'd to try to maybe rent it over the summer. And so there's all these things up in the air and Kathy's place, which is, you know, wonderful space and the grand scheme of things, you know, she's got a great rapport with.

with her landlord and it's not unreasonably priced and it's the headquarters of the business. And so the business really helps fund it. And so it was a bit of a no brainer, because we had so much ambiguity. So what would have been sort of the material milestone of the question, well, what happens now after the gap year in terms of the lease was a no brainer. there was no, that provoked sort of no deeper discussion on, well, where are we as a, it's like, no, absolutely we should

you know, we should keep going with the house. So that made it very easy. And as a result, I'm, you know, fully on board and totally embracing kind of the unknown of how we're all going to end up. know, maybe I'll live somewhere else for the summer, or maybe I'll, you know, move into the spare bedroom here for the summer. we rent the house, you who knows? But it did occur to me at some point, like, okay, so a year came and went, and we really haven't sort of addressed it, talked about it. And, you know, and I,

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (41:18.861)
I get where Kathy's at. know where she's at. You know, I don't know where I'm at. Well, why don't you talk about what you're going through right now? We could do that. I think that that's really raw and real and vulnerable. Podcast. Hi friends. I hope you're loving the show. Let's take a quick break to hear a word from our sponsors.

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So the milestone of one year, you know, the gap year, right? So here we get to January and it's a milestone of a year. we, you know, what's interesting about all the work that we did in the past year, you know, therapy and otherwise, there was, I think most of it was sort of this lived into progress and sort of learning through experience. even with all the therapy that we did, it wasn't as much in which I

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (43:39.771)
I was kind of surprised that we would do more like, let's really unpack exactly what happened last fall when, you know, and, let's decompose all these arguments. And it wasn't, we didn't do a lot of that, but we, I think sort of adapted and as we separated sort of as Kathy described, figured out kind of what was our piece and what was, you know, what was sort of part of a, entanglement and which I was, it's fantastic because I Kathy, you were describing

Geez, here's how we fight or don't fight. Like we don't knock on wood. mean, you know, later today we'll probably get in a knock out, drag out, but, but we, I think there's a, there's an object, there's this notion of the observer that I now really enjoy. It's like, we will start to get into a fight and I'll start to tilt my head a little bit like Rosie, our dog, when she's like, you know, looking at you with a question and it's like, I don't know that this is all about me and we're arguing. So obviously I'm a character in this. And in the past it would be like,

How could you say that? I'm that, you know, that's, that's an affront to me or how I'm offended. You know, it's like, wow, that I don't know that how some of that has to do with me. I sparked this reaction. And so you can kind of observe and step back and be like, okay, you know, we'll, we'll let's allow space for this. You know, I'll think about my piece and. What's like the humility? Humility is really not taking things personally. Yeah. So if we take a breath and we create a little bit of space around it, right. We become the observer. Yeah.

So one thing that is true, right? Cause it wasn't all peaches and cream throughout the year, right? And one thing that was tough for me is that sort of the coming and going, because obviously we still interact quite a bit and, know, Kathy will spend certain days, nights here. you know, sometimes depending on childcare responsibilities, I'll come to Kathy's place and, you know, so

wonderfully fluid in a way, but there is this dynamic where not always, but sometimes in an persistent way, not like just for the first few months, like she would be like, okay, I'm leaving now. And like, I would get this kind of sadness and sort of a reminisced feeling like I'm being left again, you know, like, wow, what's that? What's that about? And, and so that's, that's rich. And you know, that's something that I

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (46:08.549)
look at and looked at, continue to look at and learn from. But that's also something I think I really needed to kind of let go. Right. So here we get to this turn of the year and we a great trip. We had a Christmas trip, visiting Alley and just wonderful. we're so thankful. And so we get back and now it's New Year's and kind of comes and goes. It's like,

Like the year 2000, you know, but all the computers were going to crash. Like, okay, now something's going to change because it's the end of the gap here, but nothing. didn't talk about it. didn't. And so then that's fine. And so what I then started to reflect on is, okay, well, maybe now I need to lean in personally to what I'm going to, what's going to be different for me this year. And obviously there are still these lingering things that's been a year. And so I can still at times feel like.

Kathy's moving out again, just to have her leave the property. So I kind of came to this thing where I said, all right, kind of got into January and January was a little bit me entering sort of the tumult of a new year. And we went to George. I went to George. Yeah. So I have, I sort of started working with a new therapist that are former, that my former therapist and that Kathy still works with, she had recommended.

And, and he's wonderful. And, and, know, I can remember chatting with him and sort of sharing some of this. And he's like, well, you know, what if Cathy just came and she left, she floated in, she floated out like, so what, like what's, why does that need to be a thing? You know what? And, and so, so I got to this place and, know, we had from a work perspective, you know, we were doing some things and kind of had kind of framed this like 60 day period, you know, where we were.

looking at getting into a kind of a new way to look at the market and how we serve sort of not just people that wanted to use Amcoil in their home, but practitioners that used it for their practice. And a lot that we kind of focused on, said, all right, we've got 60 days, we're going to do all these great things. And I said, all right, maybe I need a sort 60 day turnaround program of my own, which a little late because it was February when I started, right? But I kind of hatched this plan.

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (48:33.203)
And so, and really as a part of that said, part of this has to be kind of this letting go. Part of it has to be, you know, more on self care. So I started, and I've been meditating, you know, really fairly consistently throughout the past year, but started doing Kathy's Be Love Now meditations and decided to go gluten free and dairy free and, you know, just really be kind of more consistent on the sort of the personal wellness front. And

also sort of committing in an interesting way to letting go more relative to Kathy and our relationship, right? Which you'd think, well, you know, wasn't letting go enough. You've been kind of living more or less apart, but there was this thing. And so I, I really kind of made that something that I was going to lean into, meditate into, journal into and body. And, it's been really pretty cool for

Reasons that could be explained by any of these factors because I didn't isolate any of these variables. sort of changed a bunch of things at once, but like just a different level of energy and a different level of clarity and, an unattachment to how things kind of are, or could be, play out, you know, with Cathy, right? So I feel a little remedial in that, like, you know, this is coming sort of in year two of this, but it's a process and

And, so doesn't answer the question of what's next, but it, makes that question far less important to me when I thought at the turn of the year, would be like, okay, a year's up. What are we doing now? like, I don't care really. We're just, know, life's coming to us and I'm feeling good about that. Well, I mean, none of us can predict the future. And certainty is real. That's my favorite quote from the pandemic. People say that it's very hard to know what's coming next because of the pandemic.

When do you ever know what's coming next? Yeah, such a unique time that our souls chose to be here on planet Earth. So are you gonna... Go ahead. I think it's really important. Okay, there's more coming. Kathy's gonna enlighten us. Go ahead, Kathy. I'm just much more comfortable being...

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (50:55.001)
Outright and vulnerable. But here's the thing, part of the 60 days, Scott came to me and said, I'd like to not have sex for 60 days. And so it's now I refer to it as the 60 no sexy. And we had a really actually great conversation. I said, so tell me more about that. Why? And my recollection was that you said you're really exploring this detachment from like grasping on to

that feeling, right, of like, when I left and blah, blah, blah, and that you wanted to stay with yourself and that that was part of what you were doing in the 60 days. And I thought, great, let's whatever for your growth, for our growth. think it's a great idea. And it's a really interesting, it's very interesting because we are very passionate lovers. This is a part of our relationship that really works.

To be conscious about connecting intimately in other ways is a very good exercise for us. And it's been, for me, very enlightening. For me to notice, when do I think about it, how do I think about it, and exchanges that we have, and noticing that there's an aspect to sex that sometimes is like, you

a self-soothing or like there's a very interesting thing like the way, so you take it off the table and now you just have to be together. And it's healthy. Yeah. Anything can be a drug or escape in my experience, whether it's food or it's video games or it's anything, yoga, anything. Or I think it can also be a spiritual practice. And I think sometimes taking it off the plate can remind us of, it's a real special thing and a really

unique form of energy exchange. Totally. Yeah. And it's, it is both right. Sort of a spiritual practice and maybe, maybe in a day I like to word addiction, but, it's like, you know, kind of maybe even gotten better over the past year. So it's like, but it, it isn't, but it isn't about the sex per se, my, my view or kind of how I'm thinking through this. It's about, it's just one of these variables that's so powerful.

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (53:15.863)
And as I'm trying to kind of manage sort of, I guess I'll call it sort of this longing, like why, you know, why do I, why, why do I have this long, you know? And so it's definitely a confounding variable. so just to free up from that, know, it's been, you know, it's, it's been healthy. it, and it isn't the first time we've done this. mean, it's funny because the day we recorded the first podcast, right, which was Valentine's day of 2020.

And, almost nailed our year. Almost nailed the year, like a year and nine days. And it was, and we were going sort of on a date that night and it was such a, it was, it was, we went to a concert like life house, which we've seen a couple of times and now sort of like become kind of our band. And we had dinner here and an incredible, incredible evening. know, but, but still setting boundaries at that time, because that was maybe in a different context and that, you know, and then.

That sort of continued and I think we were on a different page then. Yeah, this is a very different feeling. This was a different. This is like a conscious agreement and the dialogue around it. It's interesting too to think about the whole year, like what we've navigated around like best practices with COVID and masks and distancing and raising it, know, having a teenager at home and all of this stuff from separate, like having to do all of that.

and not knowing and having different feelings around it. This was a crazy year to have a Gap Year experience. And I think it deepened it because we had to, because of the pandemic, really made, I mean, for me, it made me focus on what's important. What are my values? And I think that that longing that you brought up, this is real.

We all have longing, deeper longing. And when we look to another to meet that longing, it doesn't ever really work out so well, in my experience. There's this connection inward and that seems like this agreement that we were in right now is this supporting each other in maintaining a little bit of a boundary so that we can really sit with ourselves, which is...

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (55:41.755)
That's not a place that we have frequented as a couple. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting to think about it. The trend or the, the pole, the magnetism towards another human being to make a connection, you know, in a way it can be, you can think about it like you're coming back to source. You're coming back to a hole, right? Literally two people that are, are it's like, you know, they're like Legos. actually people fit together.

And so, so it's, it's, yeah, it's, it's funny to, to examine how you balance growth, but also having a relationship with you said it's almost a separate entity. That's it takes its own maintenance and time and dedication and contracts and agreements. It's in, and this is not, these are not things that are taught or talked about in school, or this is not the example we're set in, especially the States. This is not how relationships are. You know, I think we look.

Look at the success of marriage rates in our country and look at the abuse and it's, it's just, it needs an overhaul for sure. For sure. So this conscious consciousness around relationships, I feel like that might be a really great sub course for you and Laura to, to develop both of you having experience in this realm. What would be your number one piece of advice you'd offer to other people struggling in their relationship in the, in the

time of this pandemic. It's never about anybody else. To me, it's always about you. It's about coming back home to your own heart and your own inner knowing again and again and again. When we do that, we clear the field. Entanglement is when we're projecting, we're making it about, you know, it's like the sense of humility and the sense like stay with ourselves with love. Keep coming back. That whole concept of self-love,

It's everything. Scott, what would be your advice to couples out there struggling in the pandemic? Yeah. I mean, I was actually going to sort of a similar vein and just a slightly different perspective too, is they, there's such a burden to not, I guess, sort of staying in self, right? To use Cathy's vernacular. I mean, it's a temptation, but it's also this burden of like having tension sort of

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (58:08.249)
either framed or dictated as this interaction and all that you can, all the valence you can put on that and, the, the, the, you know, sort of how you've been wronged or you're wrong. just, and you just see the unnecessary energy that comes from that. And, you know, one thing that's been, you know, really notable to me, just even in this last kind of stretch where I'm even just letting go much more

fully and deliberately is how much more energy I have. And even with the progress that we made, I reflect on the energy spent on our relationship. And imagine, again, we had sort of more than one sort of quarantine home, but imagine, I can imagine, and I do this with empathy, people that are coexisting in one space and just the burden of the

tension that you that is so unneeded and, but to recognize that it's unneeded is, you just, that's, you know, because it's right there in front of you and it's sort of surround you. And so how, how would you know, you know, how would you know that if you just kind of step back and sort of sink into yourself and observe and say, okay, well, I've, you know, there's a piece in it for me and Kathy's got things that she's got to deal with. And

isn't there enough that we have to deal with jointly? is this dynamic, this tension, whatever is happening, you know, we just we attribute so much of it to the interaction and the dynamic and it's just and it's a shame and it becomes overwhelming. And I think that's what leads to this suffocation and having kind of relationship be the perceived problem to be solved. You know, and so, you know, can you separate without separating? Right.

I don't know, right? It's easy for me to ask the question because we did separate and separate not in a get separated, in a physical, in an appropriate pulling apart, know, disentangling and sort of settling into oneself and being in a relationship as the grounded observer doesn't mean you love less. And it means you can be more presence, right? Cause this is one of my big things. And I think this was on my

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (01:00:36.343)
list of things that really needed focus over the past year is me being present. And it's very hard to be present when you're entangled. And you kind of have to start by being present with yourself and then you can be present to others. What do you think has helped you the most in staying with yourself? You're in therapy, you're meditating, I mean, you place equal emphasis on all of that?

Or what do you think has been the game changer for you? I really wish an answer jumped off my tongue at that. And I would be remiss if I could even hazard it, you know, a hypothesis. mean, I guess I hope it's sort of all of these things, you know, at the very tactical essence and where and how this was learned. It's like this pause that I've longed for. Like in

When interacting, can you pause for just a moment without reacting so that you can be present and sort of sink into self? And then it's all so much easier. so, you know, again, I'm going to, you know, I'm sure I'm going to, I'm going to knock on wood because, know, the day's still young and this is not a solved, know, there's no solution here. It's a process, but I don't know when and where kind of that switch happened for me, but being able to just.

stay present to myself and if it's counting to five, if it's taking a deep breath and I, and I don't literally do this as much as I should, but it's probably the best, you know, sort of visceral technique and I'm, I'm poor at breathing to begin with, right? I don't breathe enough, but if you can take that deep breath before having a reaction, it just shifts everything and allows you, I think, to kind of come to the situation in such a better way. more of a response.

than a reaction. A response versus a reaction. And again, I don't know what the secret is to feeling like I'm making some headway on that, but I will embrace all the things that I'm doing because whatever that combination is, I'm keen to continue to explore it. And it feels better. Yeah. Yeah. I, know, and again, from watching you guys from the outside, I would say that a common theme, your relationship, others that I'm witnessing,

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (01:02:57.979)
thrive or struggle is a lot of these challenges and the fears and the poor behaviors and the reactivity are they're driven out of fatigue. You know, I think they're driven from a large standpoint, the idea that we always need to be achieving or doing gold star have to be the quarterback. It's like what, you know, our ego runs away. It's all these things that we think we have to do. And on the grand timeline, a life is a

is a flap of a butterfly wing. So if you're going to run around and make yourself crazy, make your partner crazy, you know what you're saying, Scott, to me, and I'm hearing is that meditation has allowed you to widen the gap, buffer the gap between stimulus and response. And that's really, that's a superpower, right? Think about all of the situations in the pandemic politically from a health perspective, if we could just widen the gap between stimulus and response.

It would solve a lot. would solve a lot. that's, that's a really nice actionable. think the other thing is what you're, what I'm hearing again, it's this it's process. You know, the beauty is in the process of what you're doing right now. There is no gap year. There is no end point because for me, when I say somebody says, well, I'm when I get there, you know, when I'm healthy, when I'm well, when my marriage is perfect, you're at the mountain top, you're done. You're done. The journey's over. So why do you want to go there?

It's like sit in process and really work on the tools that you have access to, which is going to make, you know, we have more colors, we have better brushes, we make a prettier painting. All of this, we can stand it. then you're in the process of creation. And when we're creating, we're close to the creator. know, I think that's, that's a really good, I think that's a really good takeaway for everybody. So given, want to just like one or two more questions here. You know, we're given, we're in a pandemic and it is such a unique,

financial situation for so many people. Let's say there's a couple out there and they're hearing this and it resonates and they just don't have the financial resources to go get a separate apartment. And not that you necessarily did either. mean, again, so full disclosure, they didn't have a net to fall in. They, Kathy jumped, you she figured it out. She jumped, she figured it out. Cause as you said in episode one, I was ready to pop. Didn't know what would happen. It was going to explode. So you did it. And I do think they're

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (01:05:24.044)
Everybody's in a different spectrum with what they can do. For the couple out there struggling that doesn't see this as a viable option, but really wants to shift things, where does one start? Well, therapy, of course, if you're not being open and vulnerable about what's really going on and speaking the truth, that's step one. Because door three doesn't open until we literally name the truth and the facts of the situation.

possibility moving into hope. Hope is spaciousness and possibilities that we can't even imagine. If you had told me last year in December that this would all unfold this way, I would never have believed it. I was scared. Absolutely. But I think naming the truth and getting the support that you need. when you start telling it, have to... It's people... It's keeping it inside and being ashamed about it.

that is the part that makes us sick. That's what I was doing. I was ashamed and I was feeling bad and I thought I was going to explode. But once I took that very first step to naming the truth of how I felt and what I needed, right? It began to open. Yeah. You know, I, I, I re-listened to our first podcast, you know, last night as I was going bed, just to kind of, you know, kind of reground where we were. And, and, and, and so this,

At the same point in the last podcast, I had the same thought, and so I don't want to be redundant, but I do think it's kind of a powerful thing is this for us was all about creating space and it was a leap and financially, you know, it all worked out in the business. Kathy's new business stepped in and, know, so it kind of, it ended up being kind of a net ad and we were able to pull it off and have two separate places. And that's not, I think, always the reality. Right. So.

So the question is, and I say this out of hypothesis, not out of experience, but can you create the space in real time, in the same apartment, in the same house? And it's super hard because space feels threatening. Like space sounds like, don't want to be with you. I want to be, you know, like if you can suspend that and just sort of recognize

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (01:07:44.462)
You space is just sort of a basic human need and people vary. Some people are extroverted and want more, some people are introverted, you know, so, but everybody needs space in some capacity. So if you can just kind of embrace that in a non-threatening way and just say, all right, I'm going to suspend my belief or story that whatever's going on for me right now has to do with her or him.

And be like, all starts with me and you know, everybody says that. So I realized that, you know, that's easier said than done. But if you can kind of plant that and say, I'm going to just declare it and I'm going to take a month or whatever, and I'm going to just default to the assumption, the reality, this new story that, okay, whatever's going on, it's about me. And just agree that you're going to make space, not in a, know, you're leaving and you're going to be, I know.

But yourself, like claim it for yourself. all started with Kathy claiming space and yet of course I needed space. There's going to be an initiator of something like this, but just agree to it. Breathe through it, let it go, don't be threatened in the present and just say, right, we're going take a month, whatever it is, we're going to default to ourselves. I'm just going to assume everything's about me and we're going to

collaborate like in a super partnering way to make space, whether it's a weekend and, again, it's so hard in the pandemic, but, even if it's, you know, nights at a time, it's like, okay, this is going to be a separate weekend. This is going to be a separate night. You know, if there's people in your bubble, I'm going to go stay with my, you know, and just do it because it's the right thing and do it to explore and do it as a forward leaning thing, not as a

fearful reactionary or we're struggling in our marriage. Just like if you're listening to this and your marriage is great, I would still encourage you to do it. You know, like just lean into it and, and in embrace the fact that you want to start with yourself. And sometimes that's something that needs reminding. Sometimes that's sort of a transformational revolution or revelation, but just make the effort and sort of declare and, and decide. And I just think, you know, you can take kind of the little

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (01:10:02.862)
the little steps and you know, we, wish some of these things I wish we had done more earlier, but here we are and it's been wonderful. so, you know, we're, we're so much, you know, I guess just sort of wiser through the process and, and it ain't that hard looking back, you know, it's just the kind of decision you make. I hope, you know, I hope others can just kind of feel into that and embrace it. Cause it's, it's goodness. Beautiful.

And I think in doing it, you said to me the other day, which was just a huge moment, you said, I'm finally at the place where I'm not attached to what happens with our relationship. And I know that we will always love each other and partner well together. But I'm open. Like I'm open to the best and highest outcome for both of us. And that's really what we want. Right? For ourselves, for the ones we love.

Right? We want to bless the largeness in each other. want to commit to the growth. It's powerful. I think what you said about, you know, creating space at home, I get this image of a planet orbit orbiting the sun, you know, to break free of the gravity, you you, you need to get a little distance sometimes, or it's, it's

It's you're just going to be pulled right back into the old pattern. this process of entanglement, it's a real thing. Yeah. You know, this is, this is how our bodies work. Our bodies work through magnetism. this because we talk about this all the time and our venture of amp coil and, and there's real value in just finding space and just seeing what's going on internally, internally, internally. So I think this is a good spot for us to close. I I'm sure we'll be back for round three. Maybe we will, maybe we

But this, feels really good. feels like you guys are in a great spot and it's awesome to watch. And again, you're such a power couple and an example for so many. think people are going to benefit incredibly from hearing these two episodes back to back and really evaluate what's going on. know, what's it all for? For me, I think about all the work and the heartache and the struggle, you know, what's it all for at the end of the day, if you wake up and just do it again and you don't take space to even realize the gains.

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (01:12:25.208)
or the benefit of, you know, the self love you've curated and created for yourself and to sit in it, to bathe in, literally. Like, so that's like the space, we talk about the space of meditation and the gap, right? I need an upsum cell bath now. So I'm going to soak in the self love of giving myself 20 minutes of sovereignty. And that's, that's you, you start practicing that and realizing those moments. And I think that's the, I think that's, that's the magic for me. Is there anything you guys want to say in closing?

Can I read something? I prepared a little speech. No, no, because I was meditating this morning and, and I'm actually, you know, acceptance is the week prior and the beloved now program. and so I'm behind that's okay. but I was thinking about our podcast and I was thinking about the whole beautifully broken thing. so there's daily readings, right? And so I, I,

stumbled upon this and I was like, wow, this, there's such beautiful brokenness in this that, know, know oftentimes that's kind of a good way to close. I had, so, so I just, I wanted to, it's a, it's a excerpt of an excerpt from a book by a guy, Frank Ostasecki, and it's a, and it's called the five intentions. And, and so this guy is a, is a teacher around sort of

compassionate care and something called the Zen hospice project. So he sat with thousands of people as they've transitioned to the other side. so this isn't about death per se, but I just loved kind of the essence of it. It's not our expertise, but rather the wisdom gained from our own suffering, vulnerability and healing that enables us to be of real assistance to others. To be whole, need to include, accept and connect all parts of ourselves.

Wholeness does not mean perfection, it means no part left out. With acceptance, what emerges is a deep trust in what is. We release ourselves completely from the comparison, assessment and rejection of the inner critic, who I know well. Confusion dissolves into clarity. We discover courage in our vulnerability. We melt internal enemies and transform them into friends. This project

Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (01:14:45.892)
Process reveals the real treasure which is the pure potential that exists in everything the glimmering properties of our essential nature So it just struck me as beautifully broken. So that's I thought I would share that. That's our spot Guys, thank you for being on the show again. Thanks Freddy for doing all you do in the world too. Namaste Does anybody think that these health upgrades sound expensive?

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Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (01:17:10.5)
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Freddie Kimmel, Scott and Cathy Whelehan (01:17:27.982)
My friends, you made it to the end of the podcast and here we are in season three. I think our relationship is developing into something really special. So there are two ways to support this show. The first is by joining my membership program at buymeacoffee.com forward slash freddy set go. Here you'll get early access to all the podcasts, bonus episodes, video clips,

Discounted coaching and free webinars with thought leaders in the wellness and transformational technology industry. It's a chance to take your listening experience and put it into action. The second way is to support the podcast through freddysecco.com and download the beautifully broken buyer's guide. This is my new ebook, which is a collection of transformational technology supplements and courses that have worked for me, my clients and my family.

These are things that I've found to be incredibly helpful in my healing journey and I put them all in one book. Most of them, most of them offer significant discounts just by clicking the link or using the discount code. And please know they don't cost you anything extra. And at the same time, they support the podcast through affiliations. My heart thanks you for tuning in. I'm so glad you're here with us. If you've enjoyed today's show, head over to Apple podcasts and leave a five star review.

And if you want to connect with me directly, I'm on Instagram at freddysetgo or buymeacoffee.com forward slash freddysetgo. Last message from my vast team of lawyers that I pay a lot of money for. The information on this podcast is for educational purposes only. By listening, you agree not to use the information found here as medical advice to treat any medical condition in yourself, your family members or others. Always consult your own physician for any medical issues that you may be having challenges with. That's it for today. Our closing, the world is changing. We need you at your very best. So take the steps today to always be upgrading. Remember, while life is pain, putting the fractured pieces back together is a beautiful process. I love ya. I'm your host, Freddie Kimmel. Namaste.