Recovery by way of Altruism

Altruism is the principle or moral practice of concern for happiness for others that results in a high quality of life both material and spiritual. It’s the core value that your attention in life is one of service to others, the community, the neighbor, anyone but yourself.

Altruism could be thought of as the opposite of selfishness and while it seems like the obvious choice or at least a good goal to shoot for…it can be the last thing that enters your mind when you feel like a walking zombie or chronically ill. This key concept turned out to be the shift I was needing in my healing journey and it has made all the difference going forward.

Enjoy,

Freddiesetgo

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Freddie Kimmel (00:06.712)
Welcome to the Beautifully Broken Podcast brought to you by AmpCoil. I'm your host, Freddie Kimmel, and on this show, we discuss the common threads survivors share after walking through the fire, the practitioners making a difference, and the treatment modalities that deliver healing back into the hands of the people who need it most. Witness the inspiration we gain by navigating the human experience with grace, humility, and a healthy dose of mistakes. Because part of being human is being beautifully broken.

Freddie Kimmel (00:40.91)
So I know for a big part of my journey through cancer and Lyme disease or any surgery after, my fortress of solitude was my bedroom. You know, I always felt like this little turtle in his shell. That was my safe place. You know, to cut off social interactions or a French retreat from parties or just literally hold up in a fort in my bedroom underneath the covers, well, this whole mess went away, right? I mean, what's safer than a fort?

Aside from the physical pain, I think the most difficult thing to deal with for my little vibrant spirit was this feeling of missing out. Like there was some degree of life that I was being cheated out of some energy that I didn't have and focus and life experiences that everybody else seemed to be drinking in while I laid in that bed. I don't know, birthdays, family vacations, trips out of the cities. They sounded awful. To entertain the idea of travel seemed like booking a trip to the moon.

It was energetically and financially unviable. And my big three concerns, the reasons I didn't want to leave that that fortress of solitude in my bedroom. Number one was food. What would I eat? How could I find food that wouldn't send me into this digestive tailspin? See, when I was really sick, I was down to about 13 core dietary items and they all had to be cooked the right way or I would pay the consequence. So.

Uncomfortably the topic of diarrhea or constipation. Those are my two options if I didn't eat the right food. My nervous system was shot. Even walking into a Whole Foods with many, many options, I would start to twitch that I would be encased in this fear of what am I going to eat today? You know, my restrictions were as follows. Raw, out. Canola oil, out. Non-organic, out. A dressing filled with sugar, out.

By the way, Whole Foods, you've got a lot of work to do on your salad bar. So number two was energy. This deficit of energy. How would I hide fatigue in the like the general malaise I felt in my heart while everybody else was running on normal power? I was surviving at best. And if someone had honestly peered into my eyes, they would have seen I was basically held together with duct tape. know, conversation was effort. Walking was effort. Being honestly just

Freddie Kimmel (03:04.763)
being was effort. And I know that's a state that lots of limies can identify with. I like to think of myself as a car running on double A batteries and there is just barely enough juice to keep the lights flickering. So number three was pain. My body hurt. I mean, it really, really hurt. Think about like an old Benjamin Button that's aging backwards towards 100. My joints felt like someone had railed on them with a hammer and the best parts

The parts that were left, well, they didn't work so well. And honestly, here's my thought about pain. For me, like constant pain adds anger and resentment towards everybody else not feeling it. And I know that, I know that's a dark place to go, but I never felt like I had the empathy I deserve for the physical state that I was in. Nobody looks at you when you're 30 and considers how much you might hurt.

Nobody's looking at you and would ever imagine it's painful to take steps or to sit in a chair or to stand each each of those acts holding their own divine color of pain. You know, out of all the people standing in line at a particular Starbucks, I know no one would look at me and think that guy's counting the steps so they can get to the counter and relieve his weight and just take a little bit of a rest. You know, I looked around at all the other people and I called them normies.

And I would look at the unburdened look in their eye and I could see the leisure, the space that they had to complain about the weather, the holidays or Aunt Judy. And I just, they had this voice in my head. If they could ever step into my body for one minute and know what it feels like to live in this chronic fatigue state, what we talked about and what we complained about as a nation would be completely different. So I had the food and the energy and the pain.

putting that all back in the basket, right? Those are my things, those are my limiting factors that made my life feel very small and I felt stuck like in this turtle shell. And I couldn't easily stay there for years had I not had my turning point. So my way out, my way out ties in with this idea of altruism. You know, the principle or moral practice of concern for happiness for others that results in a high quality life, both material and spiritual.

Freddie Kimmel (05:21.869)
It's the core value that the attention of your life is one of service to others, community, the neighbor, anybody but yourself. So altruism could be also be thought of like the opposite of selfishness. And while it seems to be the obvious choice or at least a very good goal to shoot for if you want that gold star, it can be the last thing that enters your mind when you're struggling with chronic disease. Or I like to call it a walking zombie.

So my turnaround was profound, it was clear, it was simple. And I can recall that story to this very day. So after surgery number five and losing another foot of small intestine to a small bowel resection, I came across a Facebook invite for a group called Sing For Your Seniors. And just like that name indicates, the group enlisted performers in between shows to sing for the elderly. Beautiful. And while at the stage of my recovery, I wasn't ready to be on stage eight times a week.

I was ready to get out of my bedroom and I did need to do something. So my first session was at the Village Day Care Center in the West Village of Manhattan. This is like, I'm setting the scene, it's a makeshift lunchroom turned into a performance space filled with elderly patients. Some people are sick, some are handicapped, some temporarily homeless, but everybody is very enthusiastic to be there. So personally,

I remember sitting in that chair and the fatigue that I was feeling, that I was holding in my body, was terrible. But I pushed through. And this would have normally been like my midday two hour nap. And as I was drinking down my second Americano from Starbucks to sustain my energy, I watched in awe as singer after singer got up and jumped into full on Broadway performance mode and sang their hearts out in this cafeteria.

You've never seen a more beautiful, gracious audience in your life. The faces in this audience, everybody was washed with tears. Everyone was smiling ear to ear as earnestly as you can smile. There were people in wheelchairs shooting their hands up from a catatonic state in an act of praise. There was no difference between that venue and a $300 seat at Jersey Boys on Broadway. Transported from wheelchairs and these

Freddie Kimmel (07:43.086)
washed out terrible fluorescent lights to a Broadway stage. And so it's almost my turn to perform. And my nervous system and my emotions are shot. I have terrible anxiety. I'm imagining people are looking at me and thinking, man, he looks tired, man, he looks sick. But when I got up, it left my body within about 30 seconds. what a beautiful morning.

That is my favorite song to sing. And it dropped me right into the pocket when I let the music hit my body and I got out of my head and out of my brain and dropped into the melody and the lyrics and the connection and the story because it was a beautiful morning. I was up among my peers singing and dancing. These people outstretched hands and smiles and they greeted me as I

made my way down the aisle and it was a pure exchange of energy. The singer who has something to say and the patron who needs so badly to be moved and inspired. It's quite a magical little pairing of energies. And from one session, that first session, I was hooked. That day was, it was transformative. I had never been a big volunteer in my youth and certainly not in my early years of New York City because I was very focused on my career and making it and

making a living and being a star and all those things that you can get caught up with.

But I had suddenly, within this Sing For Your Seniors group, I had found a home. My heart was ready to explode when I walked out of the building. I had purpose for the first time in a long time, and it felt so good to make somebody else feel special, to be honored, to entertain, to take the focus off myself, to give selflessly. And it's still this experience.

Freddie Kimmel (09:43.101)
It's one of the most pure forms of theater I've ever engaged in. I remember I walked out of the center and my fatigue was basically gone. My joint pain was a noticeable inconvenience. And I skipped down the street among the other performers and we're laughing and talking and we're comparing stories of connection and dropping into the pocket with a piano and how magical this number was and that number. I remember

taking pause and I couldn't believe how high I felt. I was laughing at myself because I was feeling so good. That sensation, that sensation, I can still taste it. It is like the first drop of water after being lost in the desert for months. So what happened with my mindset and my physical body? I had spent so much uninterrupted time focused on my own pain, my own suffering.

It had magnified to create an alternative reality. In that one hour of volunteer work, a weight was lifted and shift happened. That was my turning point to better health. It wasn't red lights or magnets or oxygen therapy or a fantastical journey to a prophet in Brazil. It was a shift in focus and perception through my own eyes. You know, interesting.

There's a study from Stephanie Brown at Stony Brook Medical University looking at the elderly population. And it showed that those who engage in helping ended up living longer lives. Baseline indicators of giving and receiving support were used to predict mortality over a five year status and the results. This is incredible. The results from the study indicated that mortality was significantly reduced for individuals who reported being instrumental

in providing support to friends, relatives, spouses. Well, the inverse while receiving support. This is big, had no effect on mortality at all. No benefit. So my very silly idea is what if we could use that new feature on our smartphones that measures time we spent on social media and we apply it to acts of service? Somebody needs to invent this. How much time

Freddie Kimmel (12:06.962)
a week is dedicated to the selfless act of giving our time to the people who need it most. Is it an hour? Is it 30 minutes? Can you afford more? In my head, this is something that should happen every week. It's something that should happen whether you're sick or well or struggling or thriving. Now's the time to do it. It's very possible that a major roadblock

holding you back from leading your best life is self-imposed. It's very possible that you created an alternative reality just like I had. So this law of attraction phenomenon of getting more of what you put out is only gonna help in the long run. Science says it, I say it, your heart knows it. So the challenge in 2019 is to add this pillar of health, this donation of time and service back in your life.

And because I love an action step and I don't want you to leave this podcast all inspired and on this high horse without a place to drive the focus at the very least, pull out a notepad in your smartphone and create a task. Take some action on this. Find someone who needs time. Trust me, you will not have to look far. You want to go deeper? All right. Here's two books that complement everything I just talked about. Check out Blue Zones.

by Dan Butener, which correlates social interconnectedness with longevity. The book examines the fact that lifestyle is actually responsible for 90 % of our robust, vibrant health, while genetic code accounts for about 10. And if you're still looking for more, another small departure from true altruistic behavior is the book Never Eat Alone by Keith Farazie. And this is...

Guys, it's perfect for the entrepreneur looking to maximize effectiveness in the workplace. So the concept of business is relationships and the quality and integrity of each one can make or break your future. closing thoughts, the world is hurting. We need you at your very best. It's going to be like ripples in a pond sharing, commenting and spreading this information that helps

Freddie Kimmel (14:26.132)
the human race move forward. In my humble opinion, high performance is going to be brought about by consuming very clean food, green leafy vegetables, clean water, whole foods, meditating, doing yoga, giving love. Therefore, try living without Taco Bell. Be the change you want to see in the world. That's it for today. This is the beautifully broken podcast. I am honored to be your host.

honor to hold this space with you and I look forward to our next opportunity to connect. Namaste.