Sexual Biohacking with Intimacy Expert Susan Bratton

WELCOME TO EPISODE 199

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Freddie Kimmel (00:01.51)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the beautifully broken podcast. I am sitting here with the lovely Susan Bratton. Welcome to the show.

@susanbratton (00:10.086)
Ah, Freddy said go, I'm ready with you. So nice to see you again, and I'm so glad we got to see each other this weekend in Austin. That was really, really nice to get a bunch of hugs and selfies. I really do love hugs and selfies. Hugs, selfies, chocolate, hot sex, walks in nature, great wine, these are some of my favorites.

Freddie Kimmel (00:20.218)
I know. I know. Hugs and selfies. Hugs and selfies.

Freddie Kimmel (00:26.839)
Me too.

Freddie Kimmel (00:35.026)
Yeah, these are some of my favorite things. That sounds like a song. You should pen that. Have you ever thought about writing? Have you ever thought about writing Better Lover the musical?

@susanbratton (00:44.842)
Oh, that's so cute. Well, actually I'm doing one, it's not a musical, but there's a documentary film being made about my story and my work and it's called The Gift. And it's named The Gift because our sexuality is one of the gifts.

Freddie Kimmel (00:58.725)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (01:05.034)
of our humanity, like good food and art and music and nature and the love of family and friends. Our sexuality is up there in that pantheon of what is important. And you know, my story, the only reason I make a good documentary story is because my story is really everybody's story. I'm not special. I'm like

everybody you go through these struggles in your sex life and you're out of fork in the road and you either give it up, which is what the majority of people do, or you fight for it.

which is what I did, and found the information that gets censored, which is, it's super easy to get to porn unless you live in Texas now, and then you can only get to the worst of all porn, the unmoderated porn. But to find passionate lovemaking techniques, you know how badly people like me are censored on the internet. God forbid we should teach people how to transform having sex into making love. Oh my God, we should learn pleasuring skills

Freddie Kimmel (01:42.816)
Mmm.

Freddie Kimmel (02:02.082)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (02:11.176)
communication, shut the chip down, you know. So there's a documentary film being made. That's why I'm going to New York, actually. And there's a documentary film being made about my story with Tim and how we kind of found the techniques that allowed us to get on this.

Freddie Kimmel (02:16.34)
I know.

@susanbratton (02:31.146)
upward pleasure spiral. And so it's just starting because the documentary film company that's doing it, they just finished a film that they're just launching now called The Cost of Convenience, which is about basically how big tech is taking all of our data and using it to manipulate us. And I met them when they were filming Forever Young, which is a movie that poses the question, oh.

Freddie Kimmel (02:50.605)
Mmm.

@susanbratton (02:58.646)
Okay, so we're gonna live like twice as long as we have ever in the history of humanity. I'm 62. I am so strong, so much energy. I'm like in not, I don't even think I've hit the prime of my life yet, Freddie. And so it poses these questions that people like me, like you, biohackers that we need.

Freddie Kimmel (03:16.18)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (03:24.854)
to figure out how the hell we're gonna manage living to 100, 120 in health, having a health span, a sex span, you know, all those good things. So that's their second, their next film. And then the gift comes after that. So yeah, okay, maybe I need to sing and dance a little in it. No, I'm kidding. Nobody wants that.

Freddie Kimmel (03:41.634)
Beautiful.

maybe you need to sing a little bit. No, listen, I'm there to support you in that. I know your work is so exciting to me. It's for my own personal selfish reasons. Like many of us, there's a lot of... It's like the talk about penises and vaginas and sex, it's a backdoor thing. It's in a closet somewhere and it's not for public. So there's always a little bit of shame around that.

@susanbratton (03:50.576)
I know.

Freddie Kimmel (04:13.242)
I'm talking about it publicly. I just, I want to go back and just comment. Um, you, you alluded to this, but people in the U S might not know that if you log on, if you were gonna, let's say you're a human being who enjoys looking at porn once in a while and you were to live in Austin, Texas, and you happen to pop up your computer one day and you'll just see this site has been banned throughout all of Texas, uh, blah, blah. Yeah. So, so what, what is, what did, do you know what, what happened with that? Why the how?

@susanbratton (04:16.878)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (04:36.214)
Yeah, Pornhub pulled out.

@susanbratton (04:41.942)
Yeah, yeah. Basically, your legislators, who are like the scourge of our democracy, said you have to be over, I think it's 18 to consume porn. And so you have to be registered.

Freddie Kimmel (04:42.998)
What's the rationale?

@susanbratton (05:12.006)
and you have to give up your personally identifiable information to log on to a porn site. And Pornhub was like, oh, you think we're going to give you that information about our customers? Fuck off. We're out of Texas. And so basically they pulled out. And the problem with that is now I am not an advocate of porn. I want you to know that I'm basically like the antithesis of porn, but I am an advocate of free speech and free self-determination.

Freddie Kimmel (05:23.724)
Hmm

Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (05:34.414)
100%

@susanbratton (05:41.84)
So, you know, what I try to do with my products is help you move from that kind of porny, performative, patriarchally focused depiction of sexuality into heart-connected, conscious, passionate lovemaking and pleasure skills and communication skills. But guys like to masturbate to porn.

And so now you have to register. So your government's gonna know if you are a porn consumer, they're already putting women in jail for abortions, right? So they're coming for you now if you're a porn consumer. The problem that Pornhub said was, we're pulling up the bummer is that basically, you know, they have these, whenever you do a porn shoot, you have to register the shoot and a bunch of paperwork.

Freddie Kimmel (06:17.13)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (06:32.494)
that says, you know, we're consenting adults, we know we're doing this, you can call us, you know, here's our contact. So every piece of porn is supposed to have, and I forget, it's like some article number, blah, or something. And you have to register that content. The problem is that if you're going to use sites that don't...

follow the rules, then you're dealing with underage, non-consensual, all kinds of horrible stuff, which, you know, all of the guys that are in the police force and the church in Texas, that's their favorite shit, is all that like pedophilic sexual drama and abuse porn. And so it's just like, literally what they did was they just like opened up the flood gates to having more horrible.

Freddie Kimmel (06:55.673)
Oh god.

Freddie Kimmel (07:20.158)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (07:21.022)
non-consensual pornography in Texas.

Freddie Kimmel (07:25.514)
You realize we're going to need like 10 shows because we could just talk about the energetics of the world right now. I just find it... I know, I just find it interesting that we're in this country, we're in this state. They're like, we want you to have all the automatic weapons you can have. We don't want you to touch a penis. It's like free, but not over here. And this is the world that we're living in. So as we divert away from that topic... Yes.

@susanbratton (07:29.222)
I'm sorry.

Let's talk about sexy shit, Freddie. Let's just talk about sexy shit.

@susanbratton (07:43.178)
Exactly.

That's right.

@susanbratton (07:51.347)
You're living in it, not me. I live in California. We like penises and vaginas here.

Freddie Kimmel (07:55.579)
You live in California.

That's what I hear. So as we move away from that, that alley of just, you know, all, and I just want to also say for the audience, I'm aware of how damaging porn is to the brain. And the dopamine hits that come with these visual experience. It's not, we could argue that it's not beneficial for long-term quality connection. So, but again, that's a whole nother episode and.

@susanbratton (08:04.857)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (08:16.854)
It's not. No.

Freddie Kimmel (08:22.546)
I really want to know why, why you play in this container of intentional connection, love making, sexy sexiness, what got you started.

@susanbratton (08:32.866)
Yeah, yeah, it was that, it was the story that is almost everybody's story, which is, I had sex with my husband for 12 years and on our, what was it, like our 11th wedding anniversary evening, I had one gin martini too many and that's my frigging truth serum. And I was like, brrr.

Freddie Kimmel (08:53.026)
Mm.

@susanbratton (08:54.67)
this is not going well between us. Like, I'm avoiding you for sex, you're miserable, you're emotionally checked out of our relationship. You know, we've gotta, we gotta fix this because we're on our way for divorce.

and he had been having a relationship on the side with a woman who was in a sexless marriage, just trying to cope and stay in the relationship. And I had a lot of unmitigated, unremediated sexual trauma from my childhood. And so we just, who doesn't though, Freddie? Jesus, who doesn't? And so we just came into the relationship not knowing anything about sex, thinking sex was

Freddie Kimmel (09:29.123)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (09:38.466)
I never had an orgasm from intercourse until I was 42. This was right around the time when I went, you know, this was kind of like our come to Jesus if you will. And

we were like, all right, what are we going to do about it? Well, let's go to therapy. Let's figure out how to give you an orgasm from intercourse. So you're going to want to have intercourse with me. Let's learn some skills. And we kind of did this multi-dimensional remediation program in our marriage where we started with therapists and worked on the trauma and helped me kind of.

really just honestly, the healing process for me was just being seen and heard about it. And then realizing how it was affecting me, becoming aware of how I was dissociating and checking out of connection. And then honestly, just moving into a compassionate heart for my transgressors. Like that's how far I got, which was good. Like

Freddie Kimmel (10:19.141)
Hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (10:36.695)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (10:36.938)
the people who hurt me, I have completely forgiven them and I feel sorry for their life experience in this. And so that took some work. Then we did like a whole bunch of personal development work, like, you know, walked on fire with Tony Robbins and all those kinds of things. And then we started taking sex workshops. And the sex workshops were super helpful for us because we

started doing things like looking at our own genitals. I started looking at my own genitals and appreciating them. We started learning how to have effective bedroom communication. And the fourth thing

was that we read Brad Blanton's book Radical Honesty, Tabor Shadburn was a friend of ours, he's a Brad kind of right-hand man, and we're like, fuck it, we're just going to tell the truth with each other. We're just going to, I'm just going to start telling the truth, you need to start telling the truth in all things. And we had to unlearn all the societal programming around how we...

walk on eggshells, withhold, stuff our feelings, don't tell the whole truth. We had to break ourselves of the bad habits of concealment, lying, et cetera, issue skirting, sucking it up, et cetera. And we just started getting really real and we learned how to hold the sensations in our body of...

Freddie Kimmel (11:52.871)
Mm.

@susanbratton (12:08.646)
telling the truth and truth telling is an interesting thing. There's two things I notice about it. Well, there's three, I'm gonna say three things I notice about it that are the most powerful. One is the hardest thing about truth telling is telling your own truths, and where you realize what a petty mean-spirited, shitty asshole you really are. When you're not faking being nice, when you're actually saying, when you enter me with your penis, it takes my turn on down.

Freddie Kimmel (12:37.802)
Hmm

@susanbratton (12:38.618)
is hard to say, okay, why? What's happening? Was the abuse okay? Let's fix the abuse. You know, like, it's hard to be truthful because we're so damn human. And we don't put that fake veneer over it. And

Freddie Kimmel (12:42.218)
Mmm.

@susanbratton (12:54.222)
But the second thing is that it makes your relationship so juicy and so you can just do the work you need to do when you tell the truth. I think that's really important. So you get to know yourself better. You get to understand your boundaries, your needs, your desires, your authenticness. You discover yourself for the first time and then you discover your partner and things just get.

better and better and better once you start telling the truth. So it was truth telling, it was learning skills, orgasm techniques, expanded orgasm, G-spot awakening, female ejaculation, male multiple and full body orgasm, bedroom community, this is the stuff I've been teaching now for two decades, this is what the gift is about, the movie. It's about what do I need to learn? Tell me the essentials for connected.

Freddie Kimmel (13:38.016)
Mm.

@susanbratton (13:45.158)
Sex, show me how to show up and be conscious. I'm here, I'm present, I want you. I want to be wanted. I'm gonna just stay.

in connection with you while we're making love. And every time I start to dissociate, I'm going to bring myself back. I'm going to get out of my head. I'm going to stop strategizing and I'm going to start connecting. And man, when you do that, you can see why the church don't want you to have that sex because you're not going to go to church anymore because oh my God, you start touching God. You start touching source. You feel Gaia. You feel the connection to all other people. You're no longer

and miserable and alone and disconnected where you need someone else to be your comfort. You are now the comfort for each other and the comfort for yourself, the step toward being a sovereign sexual human being. Ha ha ha, work for me. Ha ha ha.

Freddie Kimmel (14:25.304)
Mm.

Freddie Kimmel (14:40.726)
Hmm. That's so powerful. You can imagine, yeah, it worked for you. You're like, I got off. You can imagine the energy behind that action. You're like, would there be wars if our, can you imagine if you did a workshop in Washington, DC? If you just like, let's just take, let's start with the Senate. We'll go to the House of Representatives. We're just going to do a one weekend workshop. We're going to have some really clear, honest communication about.

what sex is of value, we would change the country. It's powerful stuff. And I understand that's a great name for the documentary. It's a great name for the documentary. This is exactly what it is. It's a gift back into such access to connection to source and the power that lives within us that is amplified together. What a gift. It's a.

@susanbratton (15:14.479)
I don't know.

Yeah, yeah.

@susanbratton (15:32.682)
Give me your little goosebumps, Freddy! Ha ha ha!

Freddie Kimmel (15:34.878)
Yeah, well, you've got the sun beaming over your shoulder at the perfect angle there. And it's just, it's, yeah, it's ripe with sermon vibes, which I'm sure you feel. So when you're starting this conversation with people and it's new, because you said a couple of things, you said truth telling, and you said we had to break ourselves of this inability to be radically honest with each other. How I can imagine that being rocky.

@susanbratton (15:56.184)
Mm-hmm.

@susanbratton (16:02.998)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (16:03.106)
to get started between a couple. So how do we lay the foundation in which each partner is understands the safeguards to do that work?

@susanbratton (16:13.218)
Yeah, I think because some of the work that my husband had done was work around David Data's masculinity. He'd done some workshops that was part of what we did. And one of the things that I love that Data teaches, he's not perfect. None of us are.

But one of the most profound things that he teaches is this notion that the masculine is the riverbanks and the feminine is the river, the wild raging river. And that when he can, as a man, stand in his...

Freddie Kimmel (16:44.802)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (16:53.19)
confidence around himself and his surety that he is there as a caretaker for honestly all of us as our protector then nothing I can say is going to rock him he is able to manage his nervous system to be able to just hold sensation around

the things that I expressed. And in doing that, in allowing me to be the river and to rage for a while, which I needed to because I had a lot of trauma to work through.

Freddie Kimmel (17:38.424)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (17:38.602)
societal trauma, religious repression, slut shaming, sexual abuse, non-consensual date rape, you know, like so many things that had happened to me. And when he started allowing me to unpeel all of that and he just held me safely in all of that, then...

that allowed us to start telling the truth about what we needed during sex, what he wanted, what I wanted, and I could hear him because he was holding me so safely I could hold him safely too. And so we just started being honest with each other about everything and he, that man, Sir Tim Bratton, a lot of people call him Sir Tim because he is a prince among men.

Freddie Kimmel (18:16.878)
Mmm.

@susanbratton (18:31.318)
He has really been the wind beneath my wings for 32 years now. He has allowed me to be fully and ruthlessly sexually self-expressed. He's never shied away from my sexual growth and my desire to try new things and to have more. I always joke that on his gravestone, his epitaph, he doesn't even want a gravestone. He's like, oh, when the zombie apocalypse comes, they're just gonna eat that graveyard up

anyway it doesn't matter I don't use doesn't matter I don't need any of that but I always joke that his epitaph is up for anything like whatever I can dream up he's like that sounds fun I will try that and I love that about him because he's allowed me and encouraged me to continue on my sexual journey

Freddie Kimmel (19:09.015)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (19:21.358)
first learning things like how to have orgasms, how to have orgasms from intercourse, how to find and, you know, release my G area, the urethral sponge, one of the spongy tube tissues of the clitoral vaginal, urogenital complex that holds a lot of, you know, enteric, it's got a lot of enteric nerves in it, I think that hold a lot of stress and trauma, all the way up to wanting to try poly and open relationships and, you know, try to be

Freddie Kimmel (19:43.019)
Mm-hmm.

@susanbratton (19:51.392)
every sex position under the sun and every sex toy under the sun and he's just right there by my side as a yes to everything as a yes to my appetite as he fuels my appetite by supporting it and never shying away from it so he does not shut me down he wants 110 percent of everything I have to give and he is my biggest fan and encourager so as a woman in

a category of business, which is sexuality. I have to say that not only am I supported by my family, our daughter, my mother, my father, my step-mother, everybody knows who I am and what I do and supports me in expressing that, which is just amazing. But the other thing that's really interesting is that I could be a target for a lot of like smirmy shit from fans and followers and people who are aware of me, because I'm in the public eye.

in a big way, in a scary place. People are so nice to me, Freddie. My fans and followers love me. They're so nice to me. I hardly ever get any like negative, you know, weirdo shit coming my direction. I mean, knock on wood, but I feel really loved, blessed, and supported by the universe in what I'm doing right now. And it encourages me to just be like

Freddie Kimmel (20:47.511)
Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (20:53.367)
Mm.

@susanbratton (21:17.326)
more and more and more in my loving heart and giving more and more and more of my gifts so that others can follow that path to feeling like really seen sexually satisfied, comfortable in their sexuality. That's the impact that I want to have more and more.

Freddie Kimmel (21:36.702)
Yeah. I said this to a friend and my friend, Kainland, she had went to your talk, I think it was on Saturday, at Biohackers World. And she goes, you know what I love about Susan? She's just so authentic. And every time we've connected or have a moment to talk, and I was listening to some podcasts all week because I knew we had an interview coming up, and you are really is, it's just so authentic. There's no bullshit. And I can smell bullshit a mile away.

@susanbratton (21:42.437)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (21:46.227)
Oh.

@susanbratton (21:54.327)
Oh good for you!

@susanbratton (22:01.314)
Everybody can.

Freddie Kimmel (22:01.342)
And just to see you in person and to see you in the interviews and just to experience your authenticity, I intuit that that's where this quality of life comes from that is internal. Right? You're not trying to get this, you're not trying to build this external platform of ladder climbing to be Susan Bratton. You're just, you're in a state of true being. So I want to just, I want to offer that compliment to you. I just, I always think about that because it's rare.

@susanbratton (22:25.542)
Thank you. Thank you so much.

Freddie Kimmel (22:30.922)
You know it's rare, but it's just a treat. So done with the compliments. I want to get into some.

@susanbratton (22:38.022)
God, come on, we've got more for each other. I've got to, when I saw you at the event, I was so pleased to see you because I feel like you're one of the people who really loves that authenticity and that there's nothing I can't say to you. You are a man like my husband where...

you can just handle anybody's truth about anything and you do it with a loving kindness even if you wouldn't even if you wouldn't agree with something you also are a truth liver yeah

Freddie Kimmel (23:05.858)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (23:12.27)
Hmm. Thank you. It's that's listen, that's the only way to be. And I think to your point before when, uh, and again, in this digital world of engagement, right? It's so weird. We talked about, um, the idea of like, we can have this powerful message, but there are, there are gatekeepers that will shut down one message where they let another one fly and it's, it creates this feeling of volatility where we like, man, this, this stuff I'm saying is, I believe it to be so important. And all I want to do is get it out there.

How do I open that door to open the floodgate? And the closer you walk to that edge, I have found the more people do take some swings at you and the more you have to just be right within your heart so you can handle that vulnerability as well as being a little bit of a warrior at times. And it's that dance.

@susanbratton (23:53.038)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (24:00.45)
I'm not for everyone and that's okay. That's, you know, it's interesting. I was, I've been thinking a lot about boundaries lately. And one of the things that happened to me over the last couple of years was that I allowed something to occur that I was really focused on my compersion, letting the other...

Freddie Kimmel (24:02.326)
Yep.

Freddie Kimmel (24:08.546)
Hmm, me too.

@susanbratton (24:22.214)
person be happy in a situation that wasn't serving me. And I was saying it wasn't serving me, but I wasn't like putting my foot down because I felt like I needed to really, I wanted to give them the gift of having what they had, even though it wasn't serving me. And I look back on that and I'm like, that was actually a mistake.

Freddie Kimmel (24:39.557)
Mm.

@susanbratton (24:44.182)
If you're in relationship with someone and they're doing something that's not serving you and you say your boundaries and they get trampled on, you have to say them louder and louder and explain them more and more until they hear you. Because I feel that people look at boundaries as like offense. This is my boundary, do not cross it.

Freddie Kimmel (24:54.06)
Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (25:03.856)
Mmm.

@susanbratton (25:06.702)
And yeah, I mean, that's one interpretation of a boundary. But what I like to think about boundaries is, boundaries are actually nothing to do with a line in the sand and everything to do with, this is exactly how I need to be loved. This, if you wanna love me, this is what's gonna serve me in the way that I need to be loved. And so few people are willing to say,

the truth about what it is they really want because they're trying to people please and be loved by making other people happy to their own, you know, demise or their own detriment. And I would never do it that way again.

Freddie Kimmel (25:43.595)
Hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (25:54.006)
Mm.

@susanbratton (25:54.178)
I would have long sit down talks to explain more about why other people's behavior was hurting me, to look for compromises or changes or what have you. And so I think boundaries are more like cheat sheets to your authentic heart.

Freddie Kimmel (26:14.434)
Hmm. Yeah. Beautifully said. Beautifully said. And it's such a powerful practice. And I think, you know, when we start to get into this avenue of boundary setting, exploring what is my truth, what really makes me happy, what turns me on, what turns me low, it can be, again, it can be rocky because sometimes we'll set it like a brick wall. It won't be a picket fence. It'll be such a firm. And so there is no room.

@susanbratton (26:40.046)
Hehehehehehehehehehe

Freddie Kimmel (26:43.818)
I love the word, I'm just so into the word dance. I just lost a friend to cancer very sadly a couple of weeks ago, three weeks ago. And the conversation online is always like, oh, they lost their cancer warrior, they lost their fight with cancer. And I'm like, it's such a dance, the energetic dance with all things good and evil and sexy, not sexy, but this boundary setting and boundary speaking into the physical realm to let people know, listen,

@susanbratton (26:46.672)
Mm-hmm.

I'm so sorry

Freddie Kimmel (27:13.718)
This is what I'm feeling. This is what I'm saying. I want to also make room for you to respond to my boundary and how does it feel to you. Because I also want to know in my crafting or my expression of that, being at a relatively new technique last three or four years, it could feel off putting and it could just shut down the relationship. So I love that term. How do we learn to dance together and still speak what we both need? Yeah.

That's what I've come up with anyway. The feelings and needs nonviolent communication for me has been a absolute game changer. Um, had no many, had no idea how many words there were for like, uh, for joy. Or like, uh, you know, that, uh, that love, self-expression, enthusiasm. Um, there's so many words and we just, we come up, we use like four or five or like angry, happy, sad, mad. It's not very colorful. Yes.

@susanbratton (27:44.933)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (28:05.55)
Yeah, I like the feeling wheel. I have an article on my website that I put in my emails like once a year, every year, because I've had my better lover newsletter for two decades now.

And so I think the feelings wheel is very, very helpful, especially for our male bodied partners, because honestly, men are so victimized around not victimized in a bad way, like, they are the victims of their emotions being suppressed and stolen from them. You know, most men, they live in a packing order, they're either going up or they're down and they're miserable and they feel rejected or they feel like they got the better of things rather than

Freddie Kimmel (28:37.046)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (28:47.658)
lifting everyone up. They don't feel like they have all the full emotional range. They feel like they can have anger, victimhood, that's about it. And I really love seeing men stepping more and more into opening to their emotions and their ability to find their words. And so I love the emotion wheel because it really does help you pinpoint. A lot of times I think

Men more than women. And by the way, I support people across the gender spectrum.

I don't look at it as binary. I think we're always evolving and moving into, you know, more of everything we can be. But I do think that men generally because of the societal impact have trouble accessing their true feelings inside them. It's like they're really distant for them. And I love the feeling wheel. You can Google it. It's just, you just Google the feeling wheel or

Freddie Kimmel (29:30.464)
Mmm.

Freddie Kimmel (29:48.526)
Mm-hmm.

@susanbratton (29:51.336)
you'll get this really neat wheel with. It starts out in the center with, you know, happy, sad, you know, the simple ones, and then they span out from there with all the words for all the emotions. So you can really get much closer to what it is you're actually experiencing so you can communicate it.

Freddie Kimmel (30:07.71)
Yeah, it's a beautiful practice. Um, man, that again, there's like another road we could take to another podcast, like the binary non-binary. And this day and age is such a changing world. I'm always, uh, you know, the more I'm in the space, the more I realize I don't know anything. I know nothing, nothing. And it's just, I think our tendency, what I'd love to pull away from is the tendency to just say right or wrong or good or bad. I don't know. I can only know.

@susanbratton (30:13.285)
Hahaha

@susanbratton (30:18.515)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (30:23.79)
Sam's all I know.

Freddie Kimmel (30:35.978)
my lived experience and what feels good and lights me up. And I can know things that energetically shut me down. Aside from that, I don't know. Yeah. Again, it's another podcast. Susan, if we look at, imagine so again, we talked about the rules of emotional engagement. We talked about truth-telling, radical honesty, exploration. Let's talk about the brass tacks on techniques, which I didn't have a class on that in high school.

There was nobody who told me about my penis, how it worked, what sex was. For some reason, it's so funny, my dad skipped the sex talk. I waited and waited for it. My best friend's dad, he came in and sat with this book and it was like, my friend told me this was like, that sounds terrible. It never came. So everything I learned, I figured out on my own through the internet. I'm a child of the internet. But where do you start people on good quality resources to learn about their bodies and learn about how sex.

could feel if done correctly.

@susanbratton (31:37.891)
Yeah. One thing I want to say about your dad, and that is that he did the best he could do, and nobody told him anything, and he had even fewer resources. And I would say one of the biggest things that I find with people who are kind of, kind of that freshly come to me and are frustrated by the fact that they never got any information.

Freddie Kimmel (31:44.226)
Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (31:48.142)
Hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (32:01.599)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (32:01.862)
or that all they got was like scare tactics, ooh, you're gonna get pregnant, semen is the evil God, and all this kind of stuff, you should be abstinent and all this stuff, nothing about how to talk about sexually transmitted diseases and infections, safe sex is abstinent, this is like all that stuff. And we love to have sex with people, it feels good, it's joyful, it's co-creative, it's just so much fun.

Freddie Kimmel (32:08.896)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (32:32.054)
resources and I think about a lot of things in sexuality in the following ways. Number one, I think about sex as a big bell curve. There are people on each end but there's kind of this general middle bulge, if you will, and so I try to speak to the bulge. Talk to the bulge. Hello, bulge, you look very good!

Freddie Kimmel (32:45.003)
Mm.

Freddie Kimmel (32:48.414)
Okay, great. Talk to the bulge, baby. That's our Instagram clip.

@susanbratton (33:00.346)
And the first thing is that most people are still hetero monogamous. So that's when I talk about things, I speak in the boy and girl, dude and his lady construct, but I always leave space for everyone in my conversation. So for times sensitivity, I have to do that.

Freddie Kimmel (33:07.447)
Okay.

Freddie Kimmel (33:24.076)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (33:24.342)
And then because there are experts who are only focused on, I only do kink or I only do gay or I'm only in the lesbian space or I'm only in the BDSM space or what have you. I'm really your basic dude and his lady hot sex kind of chick. And there are ascension models. There are foundation pieces of information. And then when you get the foundations, when you lay in the bones, the structure, the solid footing.

Freddie Kimmel (33:39.534)
Great.

@susanbratton (33:53.186)
you can build on top of it. So that's one thing, but sex is also very vast. It's a wide playing field. And so whether you have or don't have this education, if you need to figure out how to give a guy a blowjob and that's what you need today,

that's available to you. You know, like I have, how do I give a guy a blowjob and have him like it? Or how do I go down on a girl? Or how do I finger somebody? Or how do I have intercourse? Or how do I lose my virginity? Or what's the best thing for kissing? Or how do I approach breast play? Or what are some good fundamentals for sensation play? Or you know, whatever it is. People are, often they'll enter into the conversation having the same experience you did, which is nobody told me anything.

Freddie Kimmel (34:19.414)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (34:44.33)
And I say to them, it's really your own path and journey anyway. Your sexual growth and your personal growth are two sides of the same coin. It's your job to figure it out. So enter into the conversation wherever you are. But here are some of the basics of the ascension model for good sex. I want to learn about sex. Where do I start? I've got.

Freddie Kimmel (35:04.971)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (35:06.298)
everything on my websites. I have written for 20 years, I've written 5,000 articles, I've produced 500 videos. You can use my search boxes on my website to choose the door into which you come into the information. The websites are Personal Life Media, that's all my written work.

Freddie Kimmel (35:26.936)
Mm-hmm.

@susanbratton (35:27.17)
and betterlover.com, that's all my video content. So depending on whether you're like, I wanna read, I wanna watch, just use the search box. So that's the place to start. But here's what I think is really important. The very first thing that's the fundamental for, there's three legs to the stool of understanding your sexuality. The first leg is technique, how to pleasure.

the meat operating system, as Dave calls it. And then the second leg is bedroom communication skills. The third leg of the stool is what I would call intimate wellness. And really intimate wellness has to do with everything from.

explaining and understanding your entire genital structures, your libido, your arousal, your desire, how that works, the difference between the male meat operating system and the female meat operating system, basically how the genital constructs have all the same parts, but they operate.

differently and they operated a different time frame. Men are faster, women are slower. Understanding all the places to touch for pleasure, getting beyond just the tip of your penis or the tip of your clitoris and expanding and activating orgasmic potential all the way up to how do I protect myself from STIs. For example, I'm the chief advocacy officer for a company called BasisDX.

Freddie Kimmel (36:53.782)
Mm.

@susanbratton (37:04.41)
Due to the pandemic, we now have the ability to have you can have tests STI home collection tests sitting on your shelf in your pantry next to your COVID tests. So that if you meet a partner and you're like, wow, we should definitely fuck you say I would love to fuck you. But we have to take STI tests together so that we're both safe. Because honestly, STIs are viruses, bacterias and parasites that jump the condom. And I have this

with my lovers. Phase one is we can touch each other's bodies and we can kiss because those are low.

risk. But for us to have mouth on genitals or genital to genital contact, even with a condom or other contraception, we're going to need to have tests. And the test I have right here in my house, we prick our finger, we do a little swab, we pee on a stick, we send it in and in 24 to 48 hours, we've got our next date. And it's on right and that gives you a chance to kind of

Freddie Kimmel (37:42.573)
Mm-hmm.

@susanbratton (38:06.546)
see if you like the way they feel, taste, smell, touch, you know, communicate, before you like just jump into a booty call. It postpones it for, you have to have a solid working prefrontal cortex to understand the risks of STIs and then be able to have those conversations. But I've been teaching people those conversations for decades. So knowing that and then knowing like, okay, it hurts, this thing is a problem, I've got this problem, I've got erectile dysfunction, I've got...

Freddie Kimmel (38:10.408)
Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (38:21.41)
Hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (38:26.931)
Mm-hmm.

@susanbratton (38:35.342)
painful sex, I can't seem to achieve orgasm, I've lost sensation, I come too fast, I don't have any stamina, you know, like all that. Those are all solvable issues if you just know what to do. And then the step up from that is actually the sexual biohacking piece, which is I've remediated any problems. Now I want to have optimal genital systems and orgasmic response. What does that look like?

Freddie Kimmel (38:58.51)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (39:00.046)
So everything from clitoral and vulval and penis enlargement to using the latest bio-activated CBD pleasure protocol, lubricants and sex oils and awakening and intimacy melts and booty melts from Foria, who I have a partnership. I'm very specific about always telling people.

I work with this company, I go to those companies and I'm like, I want to work with you. I want to tell people about what you do and they pay me for it. But that's a great opportunity for us to spread the word about super good companies. And so I always mention it, you know, when I'm talking about something that I have a business relationship. So anyway, those kinds of things are really important. So in the pleasuring, going back to pleasure techniques,

Freddie Kimmel (39:30.155)
Mm-hmm.

@susanbratton (39:55.382)
It's really good to understand that your body can have 20 kinds of orgasms and how arousal works and then pleasuring techniques, whether that's g-spot awakening or oral pleasuring or intercourse techniques. How does a woman, if you're a penis owner and you're making love to a woman, a person with a vagina, how does she want that to really

give her orgasms because what you see on porn is just for men to masturbate to. It's not really what women are looking for in intercourse and so pumping away is one nice aspect of it when you're nice and warmed up. There's so many other ways to have orgasmic intercourse.

Freddie Kimmel (40:26.954)
Hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (40:44.96)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (40:45.25)
That's one of my favorite areas that I teach is actually orgasmic intercourse techniques, actual like fucking techniques, like how to use your dick in a vagina to make her have basically to come the whole time. So that's one of my favorite. I hope I'm saying, is it okay if I'm saying those words on your show? Okay, good. I just want to check because I can, I can, I can truncate back to like more medically, you know.

Freddie Kimmel (40:55.884)
Hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (41:03.568)
A billion percent.

@susanbratton (41:11.122)
euphemistic terms if you need me to but I figured it's Freddie. Just say the things, right? That's what you like. So that's why people listen to you. So I think in our orgasmic intercourse for heterosexual couples is probably one of the first places I would start is the stroke techniques, the understanding that

Freddie Kimmel (41:14.71)
That's what we're doing.

Freddie Kimmel (41:18.941)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (41:33.31)
of what the vagina really wants. And for a lot of women, they're like, Jesus, I didn't even know that's what I wanted. But when you started talking about it, I was like, yes, I fucking want that. That's what I've been wanting. I just didn't know. And so I think that's a very, very big area. And then for bedroom communication, to circle back to that leg of the stool, the very first thing.

it's like the subflooring, it's like actually it's like, you know, the peers that go into the earth is make sure that the relationship you have outside the bedroom is serving your needs because if it isn't, you'll never be able to have the inside the bedroom relationship serve your needs. And in that piece, it's understanding what it is you want out of your relationship with that person and being very explicit about explaining it to them so they can get up every day and focus on giving you

Freddie Kimmel (42:10.018)
Hmm, that's powerful.

@susanbratton (42:25.156)
you want to feel and the experiences you want to have and doing that for them. And that is one of my most popular books. It's called My Relationship Magic, myre And it's a workbook that helps you figure out what the fuck you actually want.

so you can expressly request it so people can give it to you. It's like, it's kind of like boundaries, but I just don't like that word because that sounds like offense. It's the dance that you're talking about, which is here's how I need to be loved to feel fully loved by you. And...

Freddie Kimmel (42:50.05)
Sounds like a fence.

Freddie Kimmel (42:54.328)
Mm-hmm.

@susanbratton (42:59.906)
tell me what you need. I always say the golden rule is do unto others as you'd have them do unto you, but that doesn't work in relationship. You need to play the platinum rule, the higher game, which is treat your partner the way they want to be treated because especially in a relationship where one of you is the more, you know,

extroverted one of you is more introverted one of you is more masculine one of you is more feminine one of you is more you know a bigger risk taker one of you is more cautious what do you need i need security oh well i need you know something entirely i need freedom oh interesting okay that's good to know how do i give you your freedom here's what i need to feel secure um that's

That's the place I started in the second place and I'll end here so you can get a word in edgewise, but it's nice to give the whole like big picture, like what am I going for here? I need to learn some sex tech, I need to learn how to have really good sex, I need to learn about the genital structures, I need to learn how to ask for what I want and have my partner not contract or take it as failure.

Freddie Kimmel (43:45.09)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (44:01.674)
I need them to be like, that was helpful. How is it now? Does this feel right? How's this baby? Thank you so much. Encouraging me to tell you, because especially when we've been shamed, which we all have, we don't necessarily even have the confidence to put into, to voice.

what our body is feeling. We have almost shut down our enterosceptive abilities, our ability to feel our body and what it's telling us. We need to establish the communication again and then bring voice to it, to our lover, so that they are empowered to do a fabulous job and to be the winner. We wanna make them the winner.

Freddie Kimmel (44:48.599)
Mm.

@susanbratton (44:50.498)
You won the orgasm lottery today. You came me so well. You were so unbelievable. Your kisses were so hot. The way you touched my yoni was incredible. I came so hard, so well, and so long today. You're so hot. I love having sex with you so much. When's our next date?

Freddie Kimmel (45:13.102)
Hmm. Yeah. It's as you're saying all this, it you really, I can feel how important it is that this, these physical acts are such an extension of the framework that we built for emotional safety and full expression and being really clear on what that relationship looks like. And it's almost like you can see like the ramp going up to ecstasy that this is an extension. It's really fascinating to hear you lay it out that way.

@susanbratton (45:41.722)
Good!

Freddie Kimmel (45:41.906)
And put it in context. Yeah. So I had people ask, I had people send in questions. They're like, oh, can we, do you wanna hear some audience questions?

@susanbratton (45:49.59)
so fun! Hell yeah! I'll answer as many as I can as fast as I can. This is meat. This is my meat for the lioness right here. It's raw meat for the luscious lioness. Arrrr! Give it to me! I'm hungry, Freddy!

Freddie Kimmel (45:55.722)
All right, so.

Freddie Kimmel (46:01.011)
I love...

Freddie Kimmel (46:08.426)
I love it. All right, so we're going to go. So the number one question is, Susan, I've heard on many podcasts that I should be trying to retain my semen for optimal sexual health. I've heard this can hyper-age me and affect the way my cells actually age. What are your thoughts on semen retention?

@susanbratton (46:29.422)
Yeah.

For a few people who when they come they cry or feel like shit, they should do semen retention. Everybody's wired a little bit differently. For the great bell curve, it's bullshit. If you want to retain the spermidine, putrescine, and spermine that are in your semen that help you with autophagy and 9 of the 12 hallmarks of aging, take Spermidine Life or my favorite, which is Oxford Health Span Spermidine,

they have a gluten-free chlorella version and I'm gluten intolerant as I think everyone is if they know it or not. So you don't have to do semen retention that came from a 2,000 year old Daoist practice. The Daoist you know kings if you will the royalty they had concubines.

Freddie Kimmel (47:06.568)
Mm-hmm.

@susanbratton (47:21.102)
And they didn't give a shit if they lived or not. So they would do semen retention. They wouldn't give their concubines the semen. They would actually hold it themselves to live longer, the immortal, all that immortal work. And...

Freddie Kimmel (47:36.759)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (47:37.666)
you know, the swishing it around in your mouth and you know, all of those kinds of things, the jade tigers and you know, all that stuff. You can come as much as feels good to you and doesn't diminish your energy. As a matter of fact, people who come more frequently have lower issues of prostate health.

Also, while you're at it, get a prostate massage tool. I like the Vice 2 from Ineros, the Molto from Mystery Vibe, and the Plex from Hot Octopus. The Molto's the little tiny one if you're like, I don't think I can stick that in me. The Vice 2 is like.

I want the biggest freaking thing up my butt you can give me and make the vibration really strong. Do that while you're masturbating as well so you're getting the prostate stimulation that's going to carry you through to your hundreds.

Freddie Kimmel (48:19.214)
Hahaha

Freddie Kimmel (48:31.558)
Wow, fascinating. There's so many, there's so much, this is a very common question is prostate health. This is very common, especially on social media. People say, I'm doing all the biohacking. I got all my diet and check and my prostate, my PSA is going up and I'm worried about it. So that's, and I've heard people say I've got relief from the pain and the amount of times that I'm getting up to urinate from a prostate massage. Yeah, it's really fascinating.

@susanbratton (48:45.903)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (48:55.612)
Yeah, BPH. Benign, prostatic hyperplasia is what that's called. You don't want that.

Freddie Kimmel (49:00.438)
Hmm. Fascinating. Yeah, you don't want that. And I love it. Now, do you have, when you mentioned a tool or a toy or a technique, is there one website where people can go? Do you have these posted somewhere?

@susanbratton (49:14.154)
Yes, orga has all the links to anything I'll mention. You know I'm organized, Freddie.

Freddie Kimmel (49:17.458)
Okay, great. I just, I know you are and, and as likewise, I have a store, but there are, I don't, there's, I have no sexual biohacking tools in there. I had one that I, I had experimented with. There was a device called the Phoenix. Yeah, but it broke on me. It broke on me. And I, the company was changing around a lot. There was like a lot of legal stuff going on. So I never, and, and they would not come on the podcast. It was some type of thing where they couldn't,

@susanbratton (49:33.346)
Oh yeah, Phoenix was great. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh yeah, I know.

Freddie Kimmel (49:45.874)
express their opinions about their own product. So it just fell by the wayside. But I had a couple friends get it and they were actually impressed. I probably did eight sessions with it. And for people at home, it's like, imagine holding a banana, the banana is going to represent a penis and you're kind of going up and down this banana like a jackhammer getting all the lines, like, you know, you're six o'clock, nine o'clock, 12 o'clock, one o'clock. And you do that a couple times for like 20 minutes. And yeah, I noticed more blood flow. I noticed my penis was straighter.

@susanbratton (49:59.982)
Hehehehehehe

Freddie Kimmel (50:14.778)
And it was really fascinating. It felt like it was doing something.

@susanbratton (50:18.798)
Yeah, that's Acoustic Wave technology. And the better option than the home device, because it just can't be that strong because you don't wanna hurt yourself, is to go in and get GainsWave treatments. GainsWave is the, it's GainsWave for him, GainsWave for her. And if you go to gainswave.com slash Susan, you can get a seventh treatment free, which is a very nice.

Freddie Kimmel (50:21.253)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (50:44.562)
really nice bonus. There are Gainswave practitioners now all over the US. They're moving into Canada, Australia, Europe, but you can also find shockwave providers. That's another name for that acoustic wave. Low level, low intensity shockwave is what it is. And I have a book. It's a free download. It's called the Pumping Guide at pumpingguide.com.

And it explains Gainswave, the Phoenix, penis pumps, vacuum erection devices, taking nitric oxide supplementation, how to microdose with Viagra if you're dependent on Viagra, how to get off of it, all of these different kinds of essentially sexual biohacking for men, reversing atrophy and then regaining function and then even getting into penis enlargement. I've actually helped over 10,000 men enlarge their penis

the Whopper Penis Pump and the whole protocol is in that book exactly how to use it. I do not recommend water pumps and I do not recommend single cylinder pumps. I recommend the Whopper two cylinder air pump system with a really good gauge because you can overdo it and hurt yourself and so you really need to follow a protocol so it's at PumpingGuide.com

Freddie Kimmel (52:06.31)
Yeah, fascinating that you know, because my memory of a pump is awesome powers. So it was like kind of

@susanbratton (52:11.21)
I can send you a pump. I'll have one sent to you. Yeah, yeah, pumping is so good for you.

Freddie Kimmel (52:14.014)
Let's go. I'm in.

I mean, a pump came with the Phoenix and I just, I didn't know how to do it. I was like, ooh, this is, yeah, the pressure can get a little intense. You're like, what's, is this dangerous? Yeah.

@susanbratton (52:20.164)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (52:26.634)
It is if you over pump it is. Yeah, for sure. You can bruise, you can pull the skin, you can create little edemas. Yeah, you really have to follow the protocols. But then it's safe.

Freddie Kimmel (52:34.446)
sure. Yeah, it's funny. I'm so excited about this. I will just offer, I've never told this story online. I don't think I have. When I went through my big cancer experience and my cancer was all up in my belly and all these surgeries and stuff, this one surgery, the retroperitoneal lymph node section, they cut through your belly. And then sat me down, I was 26 years old. They're like, we got to tell you, we're going to cut through the nerves that are going to your penis. It's very

@susanbratton (53:01.271)
What?

Freddie Kimmel (53:03.958)
you know, all these very common side effects of this retro peritoneal lymph node dissection. So they're like, we can tell you one thing that will happen is that you're not going to have, you're not going to come anymore. You're going to have a retro ejaculate and it's going to go into your bladder. And so that was, you know, that was very, and it was talk about trauma. I'm in EMDR therapy right now. I could cry a little bit. I'm in like session 10 and we're, we're doing, we're, we're doing these, right? So it's very hot for me. Very, I say, I tell everybody I'm squishy.

@susanbratton (53:17.134)
Yeah, retrograde.

@susanbratton (53:24.983)
Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (53:32.91)
If I start crying, it's not about you. It's something that I'm starting to feel again. So we didn't do anything. We just said that. And then I went into surgery. I was like, ah! So that happened. You know what happened? It could get an erection. However, when I would have an orgasm, there was no ejaculate. Because it was going into your bladder. I was like, God, it feels so wrong. It's like dropping a ball, and you expect gravity to take it down, and it goes up.

@susanbratton (53:34.982)
No. Of course. That's traumatic.

@susanbratton (53:44.014)
That is horrible.

@susanbratton (53:56.439)
Yeah, yes.

Freddie Kimmel (54:02.422)
So anyways, this has come back over time, but because of red light therapy and massage and pulsed electromagnetic field, and I have these funds like little direct electrical current, which I have hooked up right now, which I work on all these pelvic floor muscles while we're talking. And I've regrown the nerves. And this is almost 18 years later. So I want to give people hope.

@susanbratton (54:06.47)
Good, so it's repairing itself. Yeah.

Yes.

@susanbratton (54:16.666)
Yeah, tens.

@susanbratton (54:21.402)
Good.

great.

Freddie Kimmel (54:30.39)
that it can be, you can recover for some wild stuff. Do you ever talk about this? People that go through different life changing things and surgeries coming back from a, I've never talked to anybody about this, so have at it, Susan.

@susanbratton (54:37.303)
Yes.

@susanbratton (54:43.526)
Yeah.

And I honestly think too, Freddie, that gains waves could be very, very helpful for you because the acoustic wave doesn't just do the actual penis that's sticking out. That's only about half of your penis. The other half of your penis goes in and down. I call it the buried shaft. So your whole erectile tissue structures are these three long tubes and half of them are sticking out of your abdomen and half they continue on and down towards your testicles.

Freddie Kimmel (55:00.906)
Mmm.

@susanbratton (55:14.292)
that innervate the penis as well as the prostate. They go in around the base of the penis and they put the acoustic waves down there. And then the other thing that is also very interesting is PRP has been commonly used. People have heard of the P-Shot or Priapus Shot, but I've done a lot of PRP exosomes and stem cells for various injuries in my body. Like last year I had all my all

Both my ACLs and MCLs ripped because COVID gave me a lot of soft tissue damage of my tendons and ligaments.

Freddie Kimmel (55:49.527)
Mmm.

@susanbratton (55:51.926)
and I have gotten stem cell therapy, and I just got back from a week of skiing, and I got my function fully back, and my ACLs and MCLs are regrowing. They're like 20% are shooting out of my bone and growing back toward each other again. So if you can, I always like to talk about what I call, sexual regenerative therapies, like GainsWave,

Freddie Kimmel (56:08.745)
Wow.

Freddie Kimmel (56:16.354)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (56:22.08)
oxides supplementation, all of those kinds of things. And I would also look into peptides for tissue damage and things like that. All of those components, they work very synergistically. So doing kind of all of them together. So I love that you're doing the tens for nerve

@susanbratton (56:48.442)
vascular supply, your nerves need the capillaries and the blood supply to be there or they won't grow. So you could be sitting here doing all your tens work and not getting enough blood flow to the pelvic bowl. Like literally just take, I'll send you my nitric oxide supplement, it's called Flow.

Freddie Kimmel (56:56.976)
Mm-hmm.

@susanbratton (57:10.33)
and I also have these new energy bars called Desire, the Desire bar, and it has 200 milligrams of cacao polyphenols in it and it has three grams of maca in it and things like the cacao polyphenols those are flavonoids and what they really do is they help with blood flow so the more blood flow you can get to your pelvic bowl the better the nerves will repair because you get

@susanbratton (57:40.102)
from the loss of the capillaries at the edges. One of the biggest things that Gainswave does...

Freddie Kimmel (57:45.272)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (57:47.942)
For a lot of guys, older guys, they have sensation loss. It's difficult for them to achieve climax. And when you do the Gaineswave Acoustic Wave treatment, you're stimulating new tissue growth. You're essentially cleaning the plaque off of the penile arteries, and you get more blood flow in with that new tissue growth. The capillaries start to grow out and then the nerves grow more so you can feel the pleasure again.

Freddie Kimmel (58:07.059)
Mm-hmm.

@susanbratton (58:18.076)
So all of that is really helpful for the entire pelvic system. Another thing that's also good is whole body vibration or mcella chairs or things like that because they're you know they're like getting everything moving in there. That's like the prostate massage tool also good for that because it's getting the tissue moving and bringing the blood flow in. Also more orgasms are good for that

Freddie Kimmel (58:29.174)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (58:37.3)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (58:49.218)
You want to focus on the blood carrying capacity of your penis. You want your penis to have

Freddie Kimmel (58:54.829)
Mm.

@susanbratton (58:57.786)
really nice firmness and veininess. If your penis doesn't have nice big veins running down it, keep working on it because that's a signal that your blood flow to your pelvic bowl is getting better and better and better and that's the blood carrying capacity that's fueling the tissue and fueling the sensation.

Freddie Kimmel (59:19.306)
Yeah, great reminder. Um, man, it's so fair and our body's amazing.

@susanbratton (59:23.906)
Yes, I love them. Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (59:25.874)
Isn't it amazing? It's wild. I mean, just like, again, another whole show you could just talk about the penis.

@susanbratton (59:31.122)
I know. I know. What are the other questions, Freddie? What are the other questions?

Freddie Kimmel (59:34.938)
I know, I know. I'm going to do one more. And the other one I really want to get into you, you know, this is the other one I get. People ask a lot about forming new connections in this world. Obviously, like so much connection in the dating world, there's a perception that it happens on an app. And my friends, especially the men, my men say, I don't match with anybody. I can't get anybody to message me back. I'm lonely. Whereas the women say, are you kidding me? I'm managing like...

45 messages in my inbox. So I hear there's this disparity in how the apps are creating like a dating dynamic. So that's another one is people are like, how do I connect in this world of just feeling lonely? Let's do a little that's almost like a whole podcast, but I would love to hear. Yeah.

@susanbratton (01:00:20.546)
It's easy, I got a quick answer. I think it's good to be on the dating apps, but I like some of the newer apps like Plura, P-L-U-R-A, because Plura, it used to be called Bloom and they had to change their name. What they're doing is community-based, values-based community connection.

Freddie Kimmel (01:00:29.888)
Okay.

Freddie Kimmel (01:00:42.059)
Mmm.

@susanbratton (01:00:42.326)
And I think that dating is great, but I want you to meet my values. I wanna be a values match with you. And I want you to understand what my relationship values are so you can give me feelings I need to feel. So those are very important initial things. And then what I recommend is, so pluralism because you can go to like community things. It's like, you're just going to meet other people, like-minded people in community.

Freddie Kimmel (01:01:11.346)
Mm.

@susanbratton (01:01:11.49)
And so I say seek out community in real life. And then a great way to find community is through philanthropy. If you are currently, all the time that you could be dating that you're not because you're not matching, go out and do philanthropy. Whether you're, you know.

Freddie Kimmel (01:01:24.81)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (01:01:37.926)
fixing the ocean's reefs or you're helping build, you know, homes for the poor or you're working at a food bank or whatever you're doing, whatever your causes are, you're going to meet good people while you're giving back and that's

Freddie Kimmel (01:01:54.368)
Yes.

@susanbratton (01:01:58.338)
And here's another thing, one of my mentors, I've been really lucky to have some incredible mentors. I mean, the universe just loves me so much. And one of my mentors was Dr. Deborah Annapol. She has passed since then, but she wrote a beautiful book called The Seven Natural Laws of Love. And whenever people say to me, I am lonely, I don't feel loved.

I say to them, oh, you want to feel love? Here's the trick. Deborah taught me. Go love people.

Freddie Kimmel (01:02:31.246)
Thanks for watching!

@susanbratton (01:02:35.258)
go give love, love everybody everywhere you go and you will start to feel loved. Because you actually physically feel more love by loving than receiving love. It's pretty incredible. And then you get your love muscle really working. And then people are just going to flock to you. They're just going to be attracted to you. They're just going to, they just want to come up and get up.

Freddie Kimmel (01:02:35.635)
Yeah. Go give love.

@susanbratton (01:03:05.372)
from you. One of my favorite things that I love about being able to go out and speak from the stage in you know IRL in real life is that at the end people are they kind of line up to talk to me and I get to hug everybody and I just it's like the best part of speaking for me is the hugs at the end and so philanthropy is the place to find amazing potential partners.

Freddie Kimmel (01:03:06.54)
Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (01:03:32.85)
That's great advice. And I know that to be true. And I hope everybody acts on that and moves on it. That here's this point of the podcast. Okay, last question. Last question, we have a question for another male question. I'm really interested in learning how to have an orgasm without ejaculation. What guides or resources would you point me to start learning and training?

@susanbratton (01:03:58.874)
teaching male multiple orgasm and full body orgasms and heart gassums and brain gassums with Jim Benson, my partner whose work I published called multi orgasmic lever for men for I don't know, more like a decade or more. And if you go to freedom audios.com, you can hear you can get four audios of Jim and I explaining

how it all works and what it is and what you're going for. And then if you go to stallionssecret.com, you can watch a video of Jim explaining it there as well. So depending on whether you want videos, Stallion Secret or audio, Freedom Audios, you can get that information about how to separate orgasm and ejaculation, move it in and up.

using something called the Mii breath, which is a squeeze, a breathe, and a thrust that you combine together. It's kind of like a golf swing, where when you first learn, or driving a car, I got to gas and brake and look out front and rear view mirror too, and shift, like we did in the old days.

Freddie Kimmel (01:04:59.286)
Hmm.

@susanbratton (01:05:10.902)
And so once you learn that and you learn it through masturbation practice, you learn the me breath while you're masturbating, you understand your point of no return, you learn how to gas and break your arousal so you can get the stamina. And then you learn how to keep your stamina for as long as you want or until she begs you to come. And then you can also learn to separate orgasm and ejaculation so you can begin to have lots of full body orgasms during lovemaking and come when you want to.

Freddie Kimmel (01:05:41.191)
Wow. It sounds powerful. I'm sure there's elements of somatic trauma healing in that. You know that if you've ever done a somatic trauma release therapy, it's very similar when you get that full body shake.

@susanbratton (01:05:47.61)
There are.

@susanbratton (01:05:54.542)
Well, literally one of the modules is kind of like a shaking module that gets rid of all that kind of stuck upset.

Freddie Kimmel (01:06:00.246)
Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (01:06:04.872)
Yeah.

@susanbratton (01:06:04.914)
So yeah, Jim does demonstrations of all the practices and including building chi. So you don't need semen retention to build your chi. You just need to understand the chi or chi, depending on how you pronounce it, practice of building arousal because some men have the opposite effect. They feel flat, low emotional tone, inability to get turned on, low libido.

They have that issue. So it's all in there.

Freddie Kimmel (01:06:34.914)
Beautiful. Susan, where we've, I'm gonna put all the websites. No, I'm gonna, because my team will put all the websites and connect with your guests. So people, just be sure to check the show notes on this one for all these resources that Susan has given us. This is so amazing. Again, I'm just calling it in. If you're open, I'm gonna need you to have five or six more shots at this because there's so much that you give and it's so good.

@susanbratton (01:06:39.324)
I know.

@susanbratton (01:07:01.91)
I was literally gonna ask you to invite me back because I had so much fun with you. I feel like we've just barely scratched the surface and I would love to come back. And one of the things that I'd love to talk about is the 20 different kinds of orgasms that the body can have and how you achieve them, like the path to them. It's all on pers I write all 20 and exactly how to do them.

Freddie Kimmel (01:07:05.003)
Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (01:07:10.67)
Bye now.

@susanbratton (01:07:26.094)
but it's really fun to have a conversation about orgasmic capacity and potential. And I think the orgasmic intercourse techniques is another really good one. That's a good conversation about how to just have really incredible intercourse.

Freddie Kimmel (01:07:40.126)
Yeah, the 20 types of different orgasms is a great next topic for us. Um, that's amazing. So we'll put, we'll put that in the, we'll put that in the calendar. And then I'm going to give you a wand. You get to wave it. You can tune in all the people on the planet right now, all the things that the earth is going to. You get to talk to people for a minute. What would you say to the people of planet earth right now?

@susanbratton (01:07:48.902)
super.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

@susanbratton (01:08:01.774)
I'd say that I think that intimate connection is so powerful for releasing stress and grounding ourselves and being in pleasure and that helps us live a longer, happier, healthy life than almost any other thing that you can do to make yourself feel better. So if you want to make yourself feel better, consider some solo pleasuring and or pleasuring with a partner to find that gift of your humanity.

Freddie Kimmel (01:08:31.33)
Beautiful, beautiful. Thank you for being a guest on the Beautifully Broken Podcast. You're gonna be episode 199. So special. So close. I'm gonna solo it for the 200. Of course, of course. It was my pleasure. We will talk again soon. Big love.

@susanbratton (01:08:43.54)
So close, Freddie, so close. Thank you so much for having me today.

@susanbratton (01:08:53.434)
Good.