Spiritual Healing and Radical Ownership of Health: BeLovedNow's Journey to Self-Acceptance Part 2

WELCOME TO EPISODE 172

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Freddie Kimmel (00:01.964)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the biological blueprint that all sounds funny to say. It should be the beautifully broken, but it's not. We're here to expand our practicum. We're here to get in the sandbox and play. So today we have the lovely Kathy Wheelahan and Laura Young. How are you?

BeLovedNow (00:23.374)
Freddie, we are pretty awesome. I'm so excited to be with you in co-creation. So thank you.

Freddie Kimmel (00:29.134)
That's great, can you just take a minute and tell people how you work in the world of wellness?

Freddie Kimmel (00:39.81)
dumped.

BeLovedNow (00:40.704)
many ways. Yeah, I'm thinking of how to start. Well, together, would guess, since we're here together, together, how we came together in most of what we do is what I would call in the area of spiritual counseling and support. So compassionate communication and we run programs, month-long programs.

Freddie Kimmel (00:47.054)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (01:05.517)
three month long programs, year long programs, retreats. Most of them are for women, but a lot of the month long programs are for everybody. Every single person, everybody. I think we really focus on meditation and breath and journaling as the foundation for making the unconscious conscious and living a really a more free and joyous life.

Freddie Kimmel (01:34.158)
Yeah, well, I needed language and conscious communication within the biological blueprint. I could argue it could be woven into every single chapter that deals with the physical. But I wanted to start, what is conscious communication? What are tools like feelings and needs? Why do we bring those into the toolbox of healing, in your experience?

BeLovedNow (02:03.918)
I think communication in general is the foundation of relationship. So, I mean, right there, it comes into every aspect of how we how we interrelate and engage with other people and ourselves. So when we talk about conscious communication, we were having conversation before you started recording and Kathy said the purpose of well, I think all spiritual tradition, even self help, you we live in an age of over information.

There's just so much information. Okay, so you can pick up a book, you can listen to a podcast, there's so many things, YouTube, all these, it's like, but there's a thread that is running underneath most of those traditions, practices. And we went to seminary and we studied the wisdom traditions. And basically in some form or another, it's making the unconscious conscious. Because most of the brain is, most of it's an unconscious.

Patterning yeah, you know and so we need tools to do that and because we are relational beings We are communicating with ourself all day long We are communicating with other people and so much of it is based on the unconscious So we need these tools like feelings and needs to be able to freeze frame something that causes us to have some kind of a reaction so that we can

take responsibility for it. think that's like the most radical way to say it is that we're living in an age of, I believe, radical, taking radical responsibility for ourselves. That is a term we've been using for a while now, right? That it keeps coming up that to step into our practice, to step into the practice of our lives and be really fully in this place of listening and loving presence with other people, fully present.

We need to be willing to take radical responsibility for ourselves because so much just goes right past us in regular conversation. Right? People are not myself included. It can happen all the time, right? that, that, that something can happen. A word can be a word or conversation or a choice of turn of phrase can happen and you won't even catch it, but it carries an energetic charge and it can alter. It can alter the field.

Freddie Kimmel (04:27.874)
Yeah.

BeLovedNow (04:28.012)
You know, and so I think to, to slow down to freeze frame, to really be able to, to stop and understand, to be able to choose how long it'd go about using the tools of, for example, of this feeling that needs practice, how I'm going to go about taking responsibility for myself and still fully express myself and share that with somebody that I love. Right. It just, changes the nature of the game. has shifted all the relationships in my

You know, I come from a family where it was like the unspoken code was everything is fine. I'm going to make everything fine, make everything okay. Don't rock the boat. I'm going to be ultra responsible for my partner's emotional comfort or discomfort. Right. Nothing to see here, but like underneath there was just so much tension.

And dysfunction. mean, that's an interesting thing too, is that our relationship, we created a conscious relationship together. I mean, we deliberately did that 15, I don't know, long time 17 years ago. But we came together and we took a walk and I said, I'm done with the way that these relationships go with women. Yeah.

There's all of this cattiness and jealousy. It's like taking the adolescent stuff and bringing it into, and I was no longer interested in that. So we had made an agreement and we've stuck by it. And I think the feelings and needs practice really came out of that because we said we would clear anything when it came up. And to this day, we've done it. We still do it.

Freddie Kimmel (06:08.344)
That's a great transition and a pivot into feelings and needs as a tool to have more conscious relationships. So how does it work? Walk us into it.

BeLovedNow (06:21.323)
I can do the latest one that you and I. Sure. We had a, I mean, it hardly ever happens anymore, but I mean, this is a little bit, it's a few months ago, but. personal clearing. Yeah, so there was a, we had this workshop at the barn and, you know, this is a small thing, but if you don't clear it, it can build up into resentment. Yeah. And so the situation was that we had someone come and do a workshop with us and we had our community there.

And we were excited about doing the workshop. And afterwards, she asked me, we were finally the workshops are because, you know, we're holding space and, you know, we're in it, but we're also hosting and cooking and doing things. know all the all the people who are participating. So there's we're just holding that space because we have all these prior relationships with people. So that's all done. And she says to me, so Kathy, we go in the kitchen. We're in the kitchen. She says the leader of the workshop who did a phenomenal job, she says, so Kathy, tell me.

how was that for you? Because I had a pretty clear intention. And I started to speak, and we do have a tendency to finish each other's sentences. It's not from an interrupting, but we just love each other dearly and kind of are nothing but each other. So there's a certain flow we do have in conversation. Yeah, often. And in this particular situation, Laura finished. Now, when I brought it to her, it wasn't like,

It was kind of like what she said was sort of what I would say anyway. However, we had made an agreement. And we had talked about this and we were working on it. it was already a spoken agreement that we had. So it was very clear in the moment that was happening. And I just stopped and I allowed it to happen because I thought, okay, well.

Freddie Kimmel (07:53.294)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (08:12.629)
I'll come back to this because I certainly wasn't going to do it. We had made an agreement that I could say something in front of other people yet we do that. We will make agreements. And I came back around and we came up with so I said, you know, when I heard you answer the question for me, I felt discouraged. Probably I use discouraged because I have a need for making and keeping agreements. Right. And then we started brainstorming what I could say.

in the moment if that happened again in conversation with other people. Because if it was just the two of us, I could have easily done that. it didn't feel, yeah, I didn't want to undermine or embarrass her and we hadn't come up with that. So then we kind of came up with like a couple of different possibilities and strategies. then it hasn't happened since then, but we do that. We did it a lot on the regular, I think.

Freddie Kimmel (09:05.304)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (09:11.689)
all through the formative years of our relationship. And now there's not a lot of undercurrent. And so if anything comes up, do clear it. I think one of the beautiful things about what can happen in spiritual friendship that we have is that there's a trust that builds from doing this practice.

know that for myself and I think every other human being as well is that we all have blind spots where we don't see this is the unconscious and I need someone else to help me see it and that's part the beauty of relationship in general but this spiritual friendship is it's done within the container of trust that gets built over this this this this period of time where we make agreements based on what our feelings and needs

Does that make sense? Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (10:08.13)
Yeah, it does. It does. I'd love to practice some.

BeLovedNow (10:13.161)
It's not always comfortable. mean, I'd like to say that for somebody who's listening. That's like, you know, we some one of the things that we get is, that's just the two of you and your special relationship. And I'm like, no, we work at it. Like, you know, in beginning, when you first bring it, it can be awkward and uncomfortable. You know, I'm I have something I'd like to bring with you. Are you open to receiving?

Freddie Kimmel (10:28.76)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (10:35.01)
Yeah.

BeLovedNow (10:40.587)
my feelings and needs and then you know in the beginning you're like, okay, you know, I mean that's real, you know? One of the things that Cathy has helped me with is I used to have a reaction of what that I would go into a shame spiral based on old stuff and we've come up with, well, we came up with a catchphrase. you came up, you really came up with it. when I make a mistake because I am human,

And I make mistakes. I catch it and I say to myself, I'm a, can't, well, I'm gonna say I'm a fucking delight. And you have a mug that says that, right? And there's something about that that immediately I start laughing and it breaks, it has broken the cycle. And so what I would say is that the depth of that shame spiral, it doesn't happen.

Freddie Kimmel (11:18.446)
I do, yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (11:25.134)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (11:37.613)
It's almost like I've been able to release the emotional charge. In fact, it's like the physiological charge that's been stored in the trauma that's been stored in my body. You know, I've been carrying all these years and so it just is like dissipating. Every time I say I'm a fucking delight and I laugh and I embrace myself.

Freddie Kimmel (11:55.682)
Yep.

Freddie Kimmel (11:59.534)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (12:02.189)
Yeah, and I would say, I would just add to that before we do the practices that, you know, I've been to a lot of therapy in my life from even my family, my foo, my family of origin, all the way through. And I guess I would just say like, I've learned more through relationship and spiritual friendship and compassionate communication than I ever have. And I've had some good therapists, I've had bad therapists too, but I'm just saying like,

There is something that happens in exchange, in relational exchange, right? Because when you're in a therapist's office, there's a power dynamic, there's a differential and all that. But when you're able to be with someone in your vulnerability and you can build trust based on making and keeping agreements, that's where the soul starts to go. Wow, game on. Okay, what else can we create? This is really fun, right?

in that kind of circle of waiting for it to feel safe. Does that make sense? You're actually making it safe. And that's powerful. That's empowering.

Freddie Kimmel (13:06.296)
Yep.

Freddie Kimmel (13:09.934)
Yeah, my experience is that I just, mean, there's more love. You feel more love in the relationship when there is safety. When you feel like you can bring things up, when you're seen, when somebody honors an agreement. And then it's kind of like a ball rolling downhill. It tends to pick up momentum. And then you'll get a little hiccup, right? And then I can feel it completely contract and be like,

I'm frustrated, I'm angry. You're like, why did they do that that way? We've talked about this before. You can go into this looping story in which you're not engaging that person in the co-creation of the moment. Yep, yep, it's very visceral once you bring it into practice.

Great, so how should we start our little practice session?

BeLovedNow (13:59.757)
Do you want to play? you have something juicy that's bugging you right now, Brady?

Freddie Kimmel (14:06.049)
my goodness.

BeLovedNow (14:08.576)
mean, doesn't have to be, Ashley, doesn't have to be something that's bugging you. It could be something that's lighting you up.

Freddie Kimmel (14:14.698)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, topically, what's, yeah, what's, what's lighting me up? I mean, what's lighting me up is like seeing this course come to life and go live.

BeLovedNow (14:16.214)
Like when I kind of think the song.

BeLovedNow (14:28.076)
So the norm, normally how we would start a feelings and needs statement is that there's a process and you state the fact and then you name three feelings and then you name three needs. And so you could say something like, when I read the text, when I saw, when I heard her say, when I think the thought, something like that to frame what the...

Freddie Kimmel (14:37.283)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (14:50.112)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, when I saw the first draft of the biological blueprint and...

When I saw the first draft of the biological blueprint in Kajabi, what users would see, I felt strong, I assured, I felt certain.

Because I felt... let me redo that. Yeah, I felt assured. I felt strong. I felt certain. Because I have a need for creativity. For...

Freddie Kimmel (15:42.968)
Progress for structure.

Yeah, that's true.

BeLovedNow (15:52.99)
If we were working with a client, what we would say is we would ask that client to close their eyes and take a big breath in and then feel into whether or not that statement feels accurate.

Freddie Kimmel (15:57.836)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (16:11.342)
Feels accurate. Yeah. Yeah.

BeLovedNow (16:12.438)
Yeah. Yeah.

The only thing that I would add, and I don't know, it's up to you, because it's life. But when you, or and, when you're speaking, and when you have been speaking about this, the sense I get in the reception of what you're bringing energetically is that you are very on purpose.

Freddie Kimmel (16:23.733)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (16:32.398)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (16:42.175)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (16:43.756)
purpose came up for me too. Purpose and meaning came up. You know that like when you get to see the creation actually there in the 3D it's like wow you know on purpose. So don't know if that resonates.

Freddie Kimmel (16:46.67)
Mmm.

Freddie Kimmel (16:55.412)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That's strong. That's a yes. That's a yes. I would say that the...

BeLovedNow (17:03.308)
You

Freddie Kimmel (17:11.478)
You know, the, the, there are other times where I'll be at the end of the day and maybe I've gotten two expert interviews in and we've, we've knocked out four videos and we've got a demo video of a new technology and it's not quite the way I wanted at the end of the day. And I've definitely had some sleepless nights because I've not been able to set it down and

Freddie Kimmel (17:38.125)
You know, we could say it's that elusive need, that non-realistic need for perfection or whatever perfect is, right? But that will keep me, that will, that will, I'll really feel the internal struggle. Like it's very alive and what has cured it, what has allowed me to set it down, we'll be able to actually walk over to a journal at the end of the day and write it out on the page. And I'll just ask, I'll say, what do you want to let go of for tonight so we can sleep?

and you're allowed to pick it back up tomorrow. And that's been a really wonderful, wonderful technique that it's pretty much 100, it's a 10 out of 10, works every time.

BeLovedNow (18:21.021)
I love that. I mean, the feelings and the feelings and needs practice for to do it for for myself on the regular, like I did one this morning and it's it's this practice over time. It's exactly that, Freddie. It's that doing the feelings and needs statement for myself every day based on a thought that I've had or a text that I read or conversation that I've had. It's a process of witnessing myself.

Freddie Kimmel (18:22.188)
Yeah. Yeah.

BeLovedNow (18:46.291)
in such a way that over time it builds a container of trust and safety in me so that I'm not grasping towards other people in that way. It removes that energetic from any kind of relationship. It's just, it's been a very beautiful practice to settle in more and more and more into my own heart.

Freddie Kimmel (18:51.491)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (19:06.296)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (19:10.338)
Yeah. Can we talk a little bit about, let's do one, let's do the flip side. And I will tell you, there's another one I had where I was given an offer. I want to leave it a little bit vague, but when I read the offer, I felt, now I want to do it wrong here. I felt underappreciated.

I felt ignored. I felt unseen. Why is that not work?

BeLovedNow (19:45.6)
Yeah, so false feelings, basically, you cannot have them without another person's, like, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a cord, you're entangled with another person, you need another person to feel seen. So you're unseen. So you're that makes it be that you're unseen by someone because of them. Right. So, you know, I mean, we say that I love the

Freddie Kimmel (20:08.536)
That's right.

BeLovedNow (20:12.491)
the definition that we have that, false feelings or thoughts masquerading as feelings. They interpret the actions of others as the cause of one's discomfort. While core feelings are always underneath the reactions. It's always easier to blame someone than to take responsibility for our own core feelings and stay with ourselves with love. So if you were to do that with us, we would say, well, what's underneath that? Right. What's underneath the underappreciated? What's the real feeling? What's the core feeling?

Freddie Kimmel (20:37.388)
Yeah, yeah, what's, what's, yeah, Mm-hmm. I definitely felt there was some bitterness.

Freddie Kimmel (20:51.755)
I felt.

There was some bitterness. I felt hurt. I felt frustrated. Yep.

BeLovedNow (21:02.931)
And then the other thing about false feelings is that, you know, when the point, as we said before, is to take radical responsibility for ourselves. So when we're in relationship with someone and we're using, you know, feelings and needs, that is what we want to be communicating. Not, you made me feel this way. Right? That's very different language. When I heard you say this, because I could hear it one way and you could have said it another.

Freddie Kimmel (21:33.272)
Hmm.

BeLovedNow (21:33.599)
That's a big common thing in conflict with people. Especially like in intimate relationship. But that's not what I said. That's not how I said it, right? And then you can go right down the rabbit hole. So the point of saying it in the particular way that it's laid out is to take responsibility. So that's why when we use false feelings, it creeps into that blame and shame cycle. And then that person goes more on the defensive like,

Well, know, really if you stay perfectly here with yourself, when I heard you say that, when I read the text and it doesn't even mean that you have to repeat the actual thing. Cause when we do repeat it, there's usually a twist on it from our own perspective.

Freddie Kimmel (22:21.39)
That's right. That's right. So that's a really good, that's a really good reminder because some, often find when I go back and I'm like, like, well, what did you say? I'm not sure what you said it this way. And are you clear what I said? No, I actually don't remember exactly what you said, but I know I was pissed about it. So, right. So, so, so again, lay it, but lay that out for us. So how do we go back there to that moment without triggering that other person? Like they weren't like, so they weren't, they don't feel like they weren't heard.

but still you can identify a starting point. Because I want to get back in, I want to get into the healing, I want to repair.

BeLovedNow (22:55.851)
No, totally so here's the thing the biggest mistake people make is that they start sharing feelings and needs before they really Gotten a good handle on it for themselves. Yeah, so they get excited like

We're put it on the refrigerator and we're gonna do it at breakfast every What's gonna happen is that you're gonna go right into your old pattern and tell both people have buy-in and experience and a relationship to the practice for themselves where they can start to see their own pattern. So for you, when you said misunderstood, what is it? Underappreciated. Not seen, unseen, and ignored. Unseen and ignored. Yeah, so I would just, I would say, know, Freddie, we've worked with you many times.

Freddie Kimmel (23:33.186)
when I gave you my, you mean when I gave you my false feelings.

BeLovedNow (23:41.451)
I'd say, okay, let's go back in there. know, what's underneath that feeling? Let's do it again. When you read the offer and then you just did it, I felt hurt, frustrated, bitter and and bitter. Yeah. So, and then I would say, I mean, for us, what we've come to after, you know, I mean, I don't know, I've been practicing feelings in these for probably 15, 20 years, but we've been really doing it for five, like a lot in relationship is that

Freddie Kimmel (23:50.23)
I felt hurt and frustrated. Bitter, hurt and frustrated.

BeLovedNow (24:09.291)
It's the needs. The feelings are just signposts. The feelings are like the opening in the door and the needs are the passageway to freedom. The feeling is energy and motion, emotion. So it's really becoming aware because it's a moment in time and trauma. don't, you can call it whatever you want. Illness in the body, emotion not moved.

causes problems, right? This is how this would be the point that relates to your program. Why are we doing this practice in the biological blueprint? Right? Because really we are energetic beings and a very large part of our energetic makeup is the nervous system. And a large part of the nervous system is how we feel in any given moment. So

whether you're bringing breath to it, Meditation, all the things. That's what we're addressing is being able to move that unconscious into the conscious and release what is no longer serving. So the feelings it needs practice and the journaling, which you pointed out is so powerful, even with you dumping your concern to leave it for the night. There is something about the embodiment of taking a pen.

and writing something on the paper. You are moving energy by doing that. So when you... Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (25:41.967)
Can I add something here? that when I, for me to really get this and I feel it on a different level, I have to have a pen with my feelings and needs. I need to write them down. Also for clarity, just for my brain, because when I'm looking at the sheet and I'm working, I'm like, ooh, where am I? Where am I? I'm like, ooh, I'm frustrated. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm bitter.

it helps me to put it down on the page. And then especially when I move on for there's a fluidity to go to the need and like you're saying, the needs are the door, the feelings are the doorway, right? And the needs are the road to freedom. It allows me to connect those much better in a writing exercise. And that's why I wanted to have some sample starter template where people can just go and practice a little bit. And just, really think there is value to writing these things out, especially when we're new to it.

BeLovedNow (26:37.738)
There's no doubt about it. Practice, practice, practice. And the other thing about in the, mean, you have to be pretty ninja to be able to do it on the fly and you have to have a lot of experience and even I who think I'm so good at it, a lot of times I'll be like, I don't know how they did that. So because in the, especially if you're doing it in the moment of the charge, it's still up here. You see, it's still up here. So you have to take the pen and go, you're bringing it down and through.

Freddie Kimmel (26:45.998)
Yes.

Freddie Kimmel (26:53.539)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (26:59.074)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (27:07.72)
Right? You're bringing it onto the paper. There's a shift in most people when they are starting up here, it's an analytical exercise. Yeah. And they start to go into it when they're writing, they come more into their heart every time when we do it with people and they, and we say, okay, we make them write it down. And then when they go to write it down, like if they're in a counseling session, a lot of times they're like, they'll stop, they'll stop and they'll say, that's not the feeling.

Freddie Kimmel (27:26.851)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (27:35.272)
That's not the feeling. They're writing it and they're like, no, it's not the feeling. They take the sheet out and they correct it because they're really opening their heart to the, it's no longer here. So I would say you could even, you could say that this is a way to bring your head and your heart into coherence because so much of the time we're analyzing our feelings, we're not feeling them. And you could do the same thing with this. You could just become analytical about it.

Freddie Kimmel (28:02.424)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (28:03.529)
But that writing process, it just moves the energy, it gets people in their bodies. And I think you're less likely to project, blame, shame, all of those things that we tend to do. And you're much more likely to take responsibility when you've written it. And if you're ever going to bring it to someone, definitely write it down. Plus writing it down, it forces you into a pause. It actually creates.

Freddie Kimmel (28:31.802)
Yeah. Write it down. And then you also want to ask that person if they're willing to hear, are you willing to hear my feelings and needs? Because I've also noticed that maybe the first couple of times I got ahold of this worksheet and I just started firing feelings and well, I have a need for this because my feelings blah, blah, blah. And they were like mass, mass offended. It was, did not go well. So there's a, there's a permission here, right?

BeLovedNow (28:32.1)
A moment of reflection you drop in.

BeLovedNow (28:38.588)
Are you with me? Totally.

Yeah.

BeLovedNow (28:50.416)
People love it.

BeLovedNow (28:58.834)
Yeah, for sure. Totally. And I think you have to have a certain amount of trust. Trust, kindness, respect. Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (28:59.598)
that's important.

Freddie Kimmel (29:05.76)
Yeah, let me ask you. within this, again, within this container, right, there's layers to healing. Everybody's going to find where they're identifying a need within the blueprint. And it might be sleep hygiene. It might be like, my God, I drink no water at all. I drink no water that's mineralized. I've never done movement for my lymph. When we talk, and I talk about what we would need to do each day to achieve better hydration, what we need

every day to build muscle. Why do we not build muscle? Why do we exercise and we're not making progress? When we talk about feelings and needs, can you give people a generalized framework in which you would love to see people using this as a practice to gain some sort of adequacy at it?

BeLovedNow (29:53.19)
Mm-hmm. absolutely. No doubt. I mean, today's promptly is. Well, I would say if I'm looking at it through the lens of your biological blueprint. I would say that most people are not in touch with how they feel and what they need on the regular. So if you're giving people this blueprint of so that right, there's so many choices. You have to know how you feel and what you need in order to make

Freddie Kimmel (30:05.08)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (30:18.958)
So many choices.

BeLovedNow (30:22.417)
choice for yourself in the moment. If I'm looking around here and I go well, I could go in the sauna, I could do the red light, I could go on your vibe plate, I could meditate, I could do the amp coil. Like I have all of the choices. If I don't know how I feel, I won't begin to understand what I need. So it's literally like it's the way into the empowerment.

Freddie Kimmel (30:24.579)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (30:51.501)
I feel because so many people become disempowered around their health. I know I was chronically ill. I understand that. And to start to take responsibility for ourselves, we need to be able to pause and really feel into, OK, if I'm feeling right now completely low energy, I'm exhausted and I have five choices. What's the need?

Freddie Kimmel (30:57.71)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (31:20.073)
I will most likely be able to name what needs to happen without a lot of, um, dysregulation. I'll be on my intuition is going to lead me nine times out of 10 for me. It's more water. Then I get more water. And then I know what the next right choice is. Does that make sense? But I do, I do think that this is so valuable because when you speak to people and they're looping around their health,

Freddie Kimmel (31:40.184)
Perfect.

BeLovedNow (31:50.278)
The thing that happens is a repetitive nature around the excuses of why it's not working, hasn't worked, you don't understand, let me tell you, let me explain more about what's happened in the past, right? But the feelings and needs practice is about right now. Even if it's something that has happened in the past that you want to clear, it's about right now.

Freddie Kimmel (32:17.614)
Yep.

BeLovedNow (32:18.737)
And that is super important because we spend most of our time not understanding we're not present. I couldn't agree more. Even when we think we are, we're caught up in what's happened or what hasn't happened. So, feelings and needs is just, it's like the portal into the heart in a way, you know? I mean, there's a lot of different ways to get there, don't get me wrong. And I'm sure there's many other ways. I haven't done the program yet. I want to do it.

Freddie Kimmel (32:38.146)
Yeah.

BeLovedNow (32:46.569)
I'm sure you present many other ways and there's ways to stack things. You can do breath when you're in a sauna, you can go brown and do this and that. I'm just saying feelings and needs, man, you can do that anywhere. You can do it anywhere. You can take a pause, you can drop in and you can get some clarity.

Freddie Kimmel (33:07.872)
Yep, I'm feeling shame for how I've not been using feelings and needs at this moment. goodness, let me do one. Always on the spot.

BeLovedNow (33:09.713)
It doesn't take long.

BeLovedNow (33:15.401)
Would you like to do a few days around that Friday?

Freddie Kimmel (33:26.264)
Can I do it, can I tie it to a realization when I realize how important the feelings and needs are as a daily practice?

Freddie Kimmel (33:37.353)
I felt.

BeLovedNow (33:45.865)
that you're thinking and feeling.

Freddie Kimmel (33:50.324)
I felt... I felt ashamed.

Freddie Kimmel (33:59.296)
I felt.

Freddie Kimmel (34:03.47)
A little impatient.

Freddie Kimmel (34:13.676)
and maybe overwhelmed. I felt ashamed, impatient, and overwhelmed.

Because, because I have a need for, ugh, have a need for rhythm.

Freddie Kimmel (34:37.174)
I have a need for nourishment. I have a need for spiritual nourishment. And I have a need for clarity. And what better clarity than understanding what your feelings and needs are? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a great reminder. It's a great reminder.

BeLovedNow (35:01.257)
And so you get to this place where you actually realize that there's needs that you have that you can meet for yourself. Yeah. And there's a responsibility right there. You get to make those choices.

Freddie Kimmel (35:07.55)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. yeah. Yeah, we-we-

Freddie Kimmel (35:14.486)
Yeah, as we're sitting down here, have my, my, my business partner, Jordan, who's helping me film a lot of the stuff for the content that people who do not need me, who do not know me will see. We were, we were talking about that today, but many times we're talking maybe about biofeedback or using amp coil or using a cold plunge. And I had said, I was like, you know, what's so interesting is it brings you right into that feeling of love, or I don't need to be do.

or express anything, I just am the thing. And what a great feeling. I really, when I would say it, I'd feel it wash over my body. So we had such a great time, right, in process, in the journey today, as opposed to this needs to look this way, or it needs to be a certain way, or the aesthetic is like literally some of the best stuff I've ever put on camera. Because there were many times I was just sitting in the feeling of, I feel like the expression of love right now.

love right now. Wow, this is how great is this? Yeah.

BeLovedNow (36:14.441)
Yeah, that's the beautiful experience of now. Like that it's not a thought, I get to do this, it's the experience of it. And time expands.

Freddie Kimmel (36:20.172)
That's a beautiful experience of now.

Freddie Kimmel (36:29.198)
Yep, yep, amen. Well, let's close it down there. I will link all of your info to Be Love Now with, in the course, and we'll have our little, basically our key points of our conversation today. And please, yeah, add one thing.

BeLovedNow (36:46.217)
Can I add one thing, Freddie? I want to add one thing. Please add one thing. Well, I think it's just interesting because we've come to this place after five years of doing the Be Love Now where we're clear on certain things. And one of the things that we have just launched today is a grad renewal around becoming, it's becoming more. It's that sense of there's no right or wrong, right? There's only evolution.

Freddie Kimmel (37:00.482)
Mm-hmm.

BeLovedNow (37:15.367)
And the feelings and needs is a practice where you are led into your becoming. Because the needs we've talked about before are core soul values. So when you start to get in touch with your needs, like one of my needs that comes up again and again when I do feelings and needs is freedom. I have a wicked need for freedom. It's like a core soul value of mine. I came into this world.

And this is something that I have to express, right? So I'm in a state of becoming more of it. And when I allow myself the space for that kind of creation, this is what you were just talking about. Yeah. And we get to then co-create with people that all of a sudden they share that kind of value. And then it's really beautiful and expansive. If that makes sense. When we don't

Freddie Kimmel (38:09.506)
Hmm. It does.

BeLovedNow (38:12.761)
practices and I'm not saying that this is not thing you have to do there's so many different things you could this is one really beautiful thing that I can just say from we can say from our own experience it works you've had an experience of it working what I do think can happen if you become really adept at it and that you are doing it more on the fly not that you've stopped journaling and all the things but what happens more is in the moment you are just

Freddie Kimmel (38:26.146)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

BeLovedNow (38:42.512)
tuned into the need you have. You don't, it's like you've already felt that you feel, it's like you feel the feeling and you are like, I need this. And it kind of like cuts time down, you know, that experience of timelessness, no time. When we spend a lot of time here in the analytical mind, just, that's how we're made, right? We can't help it. But, but the more I do the feelings and needs practice, the more

Freddie Kimmel (38:44.44)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (38:57.783)
Mm-hmm.

Freddie Kimmel (39:05.698)
That's right.

BeLovedNow (39:12.144)
I'm in my heart. And that's where I'm naturally meeting my need. For freedom. It's just there. So that might be slightly esoteric to end on, but it's like something to say, try it. Like, you know what I mean? Just dip your toe in it and just start to, because there's no right or wrong. It's literally, just, you just keep becoming more love, more freedom.

And when you do it in community with people, amplifies the whole journey and makes it just that much more sweet. What we offered our grads in this first day of the program that we launched last night, we said, take your first thought of the day upon waking your very first thought and do a feelings and needs statement on it. And it's wild to see, you know,

Freddie Kimmel (39:48.782)
Great.

Freddie Kimmel (40:04.846)
Mmm.

powerful.

BeLovedNow (40:08.55)
where we start and some of it some people are they start off and they're great too it's not like it's beautiful not like it's a problem it's beautiful but here you bringing consciousness to it right from the beginning and then whoo what a great way you know so so we say to you Freddie thank you thank you thank you

Freddie Kimmel (40:13.699)
Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel (40:21.688)
Yep.

Freddie Kimmel (40:24.991)
thank you. Can't wait. Let's go. I cannot wait. Bye, ladies.

BeLovedNow (40:27.952)
I get to see you very soon. Bye, Freddie. Bye, love.