Stranded on a cruise ship with the CORONA Virus

Brendt Reil is a New York-based Actor and Singer. He has performed in various tours and regional productions across the US, as well as numerous concert halls and cabaret settings. He studies with the Deena Levy theater studio and has a degree in Vocal Performance from Indiana University. 

While traveling abroad on a dream vacation tour of South America, visiting his best friend who was performing on The Zaandam Cruise ship, he suddenly found himself quarantined, with COVID-19 on board. After battling the horrible symptoms himself he made it back to the US a month later with a life-changing experience and story to share. As we all manage life in quarantine, hear the inspirational story behind Brendt’s journey from ground zero with COVID-19 on a stranded cruise ship.

Episode Highlights

1:24 - Ground zero with COVID-19 on a cruise ship

6:17 - A once-in-a-lifetime vacation turns dramatically

10:03 - Things start to change on the ship

15:14 - "And what happened next nobody could predict."

19:12 - Brendt's experience with COVID-19

24:10 - The emotional experience of living with COVID-19 on a stranded cruise ship

29:21 - The cruise ship goes mainstream media

33:55 - The price of a human life

37:45 - The impact of living through COVID-19 on a cruise ship 

43:04 - Would you get on a cruise ship again?

48:21 - Dreaming about going home

51:44 - How will you live your life now after coronavirus?

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (00:00.108)
I felt that the more calm I was and the more that I just dealt with what was happening to me as it was happening to me in real time without putting these futuristic thoughts of will I get off this ship? Will these symptoms get worse? Will all this stuff happen? What can I control? I control here. I control this moment and this month's gonna turn into the next few hours. The next few hours is gonna turn into the evening and then another day of quarantine will have gone by.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (00:30.274)
Welcome to the Beautifully Broken Podcast brought to you by AmpCoil. I'm your host, Freddie Kimmel, and on this show, we discuss the common thread survivors share after walking through the fire, the practitioners making a difference, and the treatment modalities that deliver healing back into the hands of the people who need it most. Witness the inspiration we gain by navigating the human experience with grace, humility, and a healthy dose of mistakes. Because part of being human is being beautifully broken.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (01:02.83)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the beautifully broken podcast. I'm so excited you're here today. I have a very special guest who I've known for a long time. have a history of Broadway and music theater together. Brent Reel, welcome to the podcast. Hello, good to be here. We're glad to have you Brent. You know, in this ever changing world of

viruses and virus 2020 and COVID-19, we're finding that everybody across the world is having a different experience. And the reason you're on the podcast is because you had a very unique experience with COVID-19. And right away when you started telling me, I was inclined to ask, would you be willing to share this with the audience? Because I think

Aside from people taking things in from the news or God forbid you've had a close personal connection with someone passing away from the virus, you were actually on a cruise ship that was traveling around the world when this state of emergency first hit. Yeah, it was, it was crazy. I went to go on a vacation to visit my friend Maria Campos, who's been singing on cruise ships for the past 10 years. As many of the performers that are out there know is something that people do.

She had a friend on board, so my vacation was free. And I meant to just have this two week sort of like South American adventure where I flew into Buenos Aires. We would have gone down, seen penguins in Antarctica, around the Cape, seen glaciers and in two weeks flown back to New York out of Santiago, Chile. And, you know, just kind of had like a nice little free break. within that time, if you can kind of walk us through the timeline.

of your cruise ship and the initial, let's say the restrictions on travel started to fall in place when you were on the boat, correct? Yeah, I was like shortly after I got on when I left, there was a, I think there was like one case in New York City, or maybe it wasn't even yet. Maybe that happened like after I arrived in Buenos Aires and there weren't any there. And I had just had a full physical for my doctor, you know, and people were saying, why would you travel on a cruise ship? Did you hear the one in China just got quarantined?

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (03:18.99)
And, you know, even my doctor was like, you gotta live your life. You know, there was absolutely no idea of what was to be foreseen in the next couple of weeks, especially in the States. So I was like, sure, you know, this is set and done. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. And so I went and I got there like the very end of February and, um, you know, had a couple of days in Buenos Aires, which was amazing. And I had never really been outside of the country before. So.

The whole thing was just kind of something I've been looking forward to for the past six months. And even my doctor was like, go, you know, and I was like, what about COVID-19? was like, no, it's, you know, just you got to live your life and you deal with, you deal with things as they come up, you know, that's all you can do in this world. So I took the opportunity and I went and it was so great. And it was one of the best vacations I've ever taken the first half. And, you know, we, went to the Falkland islands. We saw King penguins. went down to,

to all throughout Argentina and the southern tip of Chile. I mean, we're literally in this city that's like called the end of the world, you know? And it was crazy because we were watching the news every night and, know, in the beginning it was fine. And then like maybe five days into it, we started seeing, we only had three channels. had MSNBC, which was their international station, which is kind of like a thing that they produce for everyone abroad. We had Fox News International, and then we had the BBC.

Which was great to have the three perspectives because you know everyone was telling a different story and I was on a ship where it wasn't necessarily Americans only. mean I think it was only about 75 Americans out of like I don't know 1500 passengers. You this was a world cruise that was docking out of Buenos Aires so there was a high contingency of international travels travelers so while we were on board everyone was

everyone felt they were healthy and we were kind of quarantined in a little bubble and we were kind of watching things happen and you know there were people from Paris and England that I'd become friends with and they were watching things happen at a much quicker rate, quarantines happening, then you know we were watching America deal with what happened in Washington and then New York started with one case that spread.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (05:41.427)
And it was just really kind of a surreal experience to see how the world was sort of experiencing this on different time-lapse, where other countries might have been a little bit ahead, maybe a week ahead. And then the news in America was sort of a week behind, and there was still this sort of feeling of, this is just not something that's gonna hit here. And that was kind of what was playing on the news on an international level. All of the president's speeches and whatnot, and the news briefings.

We're sort of geared towards this feeling of, know, this is happening, but we'll be okay as well. know, so in this time you're having this wonderful, wonderful, once of a lifetime experience. When did you start to feel like there was an air of concern on the ship, especially among these international passengers? Cause you can imagine obviously people in Italy, people in France, people in China, they're going to be experiencing different levels of alert from their countries of origin.

Absolutely. there were people who felt, you know, obviously they felt horrible for the things that were happening back in their own country. And at the same time feeling like, wow, I can't believe we're having surf and turf and a black tie gala tonight and going to like, like a world renowned cellist who was on board giving a concert. that was like incredible music that, that, you know, I was lucky just to hear that I wouldn't have been, had the opportunity unless I was on this shit. But at the same time getting news briefs and you know,

One of my close friends on the ship was from Paris and he was watching all of the news briefings and was like, wow, we're on lockdown already. What happened where they started giving them tickets for being outside. Then came news that they were deciding in the hospitals whether or not at a certain age you were allowed to be resuscitated or if a ventilator went to somebody else. And these decisions were being made long before it hit.

the United States. So I was in contact with friends and I was just like, this is happening. And even as we had like lockdown happening and you know, New York was going through, okay, restaurants closed. And of course, a lot of my friends are restaurant industry people as well as myself, you know, lost their job. I had gotten an email while I was away that was like, hey, Zoom is closing indefinitely until this is over, just so you know. And this was happening. And I don't think people realize how serious this was when you see like,

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (08:09.254)
the pain in somebody else's eyes that are worrying about actual communication with their family. Because it wasn't happening yet here. We were still behind and... Did you ever get frustrated with the lack of response or gravitas that was handled within the American media seeing all these different streams on the ship? Well, I just felt like nobody really was taking it seriously. And I felt like if I had written anything on social media about it,

I would come across just as like another part of the like sensationalism of closing the country down and all this stuff. And I'm speaking from six weeks after the fact of that being like, wow, yeah, that actually would have been right. But at the time, nobody really knew if that was right or not. Not on the level that now we're seeing results of where certain countries that have closed their borders and practiced

social distancing at an early start and some states as well having lower infection rates. But one thing was crazy was that I would watch the news in a group forum with people from like an international crowd and we would flip the channels and they were amazed at how sensationalized MSNBC and Fox was with animated versions of a virus and a car car car.

Today, the war on Corona. And like soundtracks were added, you know, meanwhile you flip to BBC and they're just like, so today in BBC News, there were 317 deaths reported in Paris. And you know, and it was more just factual without the sort of sensationalism and something I never even realized, even though we all realize that news is also a business and whatnot. until I had that international perspective, was, I was kind of blown away by

how sensationalized things were. So you're on a two week cruise. When, when did things start to go south in your environment on the ship? So about a week into it, we were at the tip of South America, Punta Arenas, and it's a small little Chilean city. And we visited it one day and we're in port, you know, went to all the cafes and bars and whatnot, and got back on the ship around 10 o'clock that night. I felt the ship turn and

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (10:31.91)
For some reason I was like on online and I saw that South American borders were closing the next day. And so I had some friends on ship who were part of the crew and they kind of confirmed that we turned around and that we're gonna try to get everybody off before the borders closed, get them onto flights and sail them home. That night we had an announcement from our captain that said, ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately South American

Borders are going to be closing tomorrow. We're going back to our closest port so that we can get you all home safely. You'll be refunded for this trip, but we're gonna be cutting this trip about a week short. So obviously there were people who were just like angry and like, you know, you can't imagine how selfish people react in situations like that. you know, having not feeling like, wait a minute, this is real. We gotta get home. You know, we're on the tip of South America and...

people from all over the world, like they don't know if they're gonna get home. If the borders close, we're just on a ship that's going nowhere, you know? So we tried to get there and at the same time, like there was some social postings on social media and it was kind of interfering with the politics of what was happening in Chile. There were all these protests. Nobody wanted a cruise ship to be ported there. And so the government was like, sorry, we're actually closing our borders at midnight tonight.

which was impossible for us to get there in time. And so meanwhile, people on the cruise ship booked flights out of there, did all this legwork on sort of the idea and on sort of the guidance from Holland America in order to get out and like make sure you have a flight. So that happened. And then we were stuck and they said, no, we're not gonna take you. And there was really nothing that we could happen. were riots in the city.

there are riots all over the country because sort of like, think social media led to people finding out media stories that we were coming back, which put pressure on the government to say, okay, now we have to respond to our people's opinion on this matter. And, you know, obviously as a member of somebody who wanted to just get off and get home as quickly as possible, you know, I wish that that didn't happen, but, you know, it did. you know, we went on and then the captain, you know, came back on and said,

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (12:53.87)
So we are not gonna be able to come port side in this city. I'm gonna be transparent with you, we don't have a destination. Tomorrow all of South America ports are closed. So the closest thing I can think of is if we can get to the Northern Hemisphere, I'm gonna get us back to the US somehow. We may go through the Panama Canal. We don't have any kind of confirmation on that yet. And so it might be San Diego, might be San Francisco,

Hopefully, we'll go through the Panama Canal and it's like a day and a half to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and we'll get you guys off as soon as possible. But they did have relations with, you know, they were planning to refuel and restock in Valparosa, Chile. Valparosa, I may be saying that wrong. So he said, we're sailing there and we have confirmation from the Chilean government that this transaction that was already negotiated is still gonna take place, except we couldn't come to the port to have it.

happened on a very rapid way. sent shipments as we were ported in the harbor, which took about maybe two full days just to restock us and refuel us in that kind of manner. But anyway, we ended up getting stocked for three weeks of fuel, which is more than pretty much to get anywhere in the world from where we were, certainly enough to get to the US and for food for everybody and whatnot. And at that time, there was no health risks yet.

And so we were just going to sail on as sailing days. and we went on for about two days on that kind of, knowledge. With just the direction to go around now, just, I just want to paint this for people that don't have, if you're trying to make sense of the map in your head, so you're going to go around the tip of South America and back up. Yes. Hopefully to go through Panama canal and back to Florida. Cause that's actually more direct. If you look at the way the continents are situated.

And then he had contingency plan B was to stop in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Not knowing what the conditions were, every day the governments were changing their restrictions and the politics of the virus that was spreading was getting more serious. So he was like, this is all I can do is lay out the plans. And the third one was to go to San Diego. So.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (15:16.048)
We set sail and it was a pretty positive experience. We had another like black tie sort of gala that night. People were, I mean, it was kind of ridiculous. People were drinking champagne and eating lobster and like filet mignon. And, you know, this was all part of the ruse to be like, you know, just keep going. Life is good. You know, even though you could be worse, you could be, you know, out there where things were happening. And, you know, I truly believe that I felt safe there. I felt, you know, since the ship was healthy that

You know, I could spend two weeks soaking in some sun, reading some books, getting fed every day, and be fine, you know? And so that was kind of the general consensus of everybody. They knew they would get home, but you definitely felt taken care of in sort of this sort of floating city. So I think two days went by. We just were like hanging out. I was talking to people, like learning about like where they were from, you know, what their take on everything was. And of course people were scared and you know,

We didn't really get the full story on this ship because even even our access to news was sort of like an abbreviated version. So it was just kind of like you had to have faith that things were going to work out and faith in the sense of not like a religious sense, but just if you believe in something positive and that will get you through it, then that's the faith. That's the faith I learned, you know? So anyway, what happened next, nobody could predict.

There was an announcement one day when we were having lunch and, you know, it was from the captain and he said, I just, you know, unfortunately, you know, want to bring everyone to attention that this announcement is very serious. Unfortunately, last night, the medic had around 50 people complain of influenza, like symptoms, fevers, coughs, body aches with crew and with the guests.

And it was just too high of a number to ignore. And, you know, he wasn't saying this was COVID-19 because we didn't have tests and it was just, this is what's happening. And so we're going to do the smart thing. And if everybody could go to their room, you know, within the hour, finish your lunch, you know, finish what you're doing, but this is a mandatory situation and there'll be more information, you know, as we proceed. So everybody kind of stopped and we're like,

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (17:43.024)
I feel like people knew that this was always a possibility. And even within enjoying ourselves the night before, you know, I kind of had this feeling at the pit of my stomach the whole time, like, this could turn this way. Like, there is nothing that says this can't. We don't know anything about this virus. you know, it's fun to believe that everything is hunky dory and we're gonna have like a trip to, you know, a three week, you know, open cruise to get home while we're safe, but.

I feel like when that announcement was made, people stopped what they were doing and they went to their estates rooms and their cabins. it kind of was like there was no sort of backlash. It was just like, okay, yep, this was coming. You know, this is unfortunate and this is coming. So yeah, that happened. And then suddenly we were just like the ship in China where we're quarantined to our rooms and like can't leave. know, later we found out that we would have dinner service, lunch service.

breakfast service, what would happen is we'd hear a knock on the door, you'd respond so that they heard you and then they would walk away and then you would take the food in and shut the door. So you weren't having contact with anyone, but it was sort of on this sort of feeding a mass, you know, it felt, it felt at first like prison. It felt like, how am I going to do this? I have journal entries where I'm just like, I'm not equipped for this. You know, this is

This is not in my lifestyle. Were you ever mandated with, after the announcement of the 50 people that they were experiencing flu like symptoms, was there ever a time when they said, all right, nobody is leaving the room anymore. You guys are only staying in your cabin for food service or was that just, is that something you fell in line doing or was that a mandate?

It was sort of both. Nothing was dictated to us in the way of like a mandate would be or some sort of like, you know, authoritative like command. Otherwise there'll be, you know, penalties for, but it was, it was said, Hey, this is a highly, highly contagious virus that might be on our ship. And right now our recommendation is for everyone to stay in their room. We're setting these boundaries up so you can receive food. We had like beverage requests. You could request.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (20:02.364)
Cosmopolitans, vodka bottles, red wine, white wine, beer, everything was free. They were doing their best they could do to accommodate the worst circumstances. So as much as I would be like, this is prison, it was like Martha Stewart's clean linen down comforter with, I mean, I don't know, I can't put myself in her prison, but what I would. But we can imagine. We can imagine. It wasn't unbearable.

It was just so it was like let's do it. You know, I think the feeling general feeling was like why wouldn't you comply? I feel like if I snuck out and went outside and whatnot the worst they could do I mean they couldn't kick me off the ship if they told me to kick me off the ship I'm like great. Where are you gonna send me? Give me off the ship. Yeah You know the worst that they could do would say just stay in her room, please You know, like we're in this situation together, you know, it's for my own health not to go out there

They don't know, you know, they were sanitizing everything they could, but there were no rules. We didn't know if this was COVID-19. We didn't know if this was influenza symptoms, you know, but this was traveling through the crew very fast. And I don't know if anybody knows the cruise ship quarters, but the crew are really tight. They're down on the subterranean level and most of that are inside and they're about like 80 square feet. A lot of times it's a bunk bed situation.

where you're sharing a room and there's just basically a space to change. Their bathrooms are like an airplane bathroom. It's not like what I had because I was fortunate enough to get a guest room while I was on board because there was an extra one. And transmitting any kind of virus, even if it's before this, was always a problem because if somebody got sick, a lot of people got sick because they live in these tight quarters. But so these flu-like symptoms were going around and then

Suddenly, I started feeling that. And I had a fever and I thought that day I was out in the sun before and I'm very pale. I thought, okay, when I have a sunburn, it always feels a little bit like a fever at night and it goes away. The next day it's still sticking around. And I was never tested, but I went through about five days of a fever. I developed a pretty serious cough, pneumonia symptoms. I'm pretty convinced that I had caught this virus.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (22:27.024)
And I happened to be in line with the first day of when we were supposedly quarantine or suggested to stay in. So for me, my whole experience with it was like, A, I'm quarantine and I can not infect anybody if this is what it is. Or if even if it isn't it, it's, I still can't pass this. And I just started like, I didn't have a lot of internet. didn't have a lot of distractions. So I just kind of had my thoughts and you know,

what I was thinking through this experience. And I just felt like this was sort of, if I was gonna be sick, then it was just time to fight this because there really wasn't anything else to do. I could have gone to the medic and whatnot, but as we found out later days, as time went by, two days into quarantine, four days into quarantine, more and more and more people were reporting symptoms. And it got very serious to where people ended up needing

you know, doctors care, ventilators, that type of stuff. And they had some of these supplies. So the captain was very transparent about what was happening. I think one of the kickers was there was an announcement that maybe about five days into it that four people had passed on our ship and that we had met up with another sister ship where they had given us medical supplies and help. And they had tests for Mexico.

and they had tested people on our ship that had COVID-19. So it kind of confirmed that this is what was happening. Once that happened, think everybody was taking everything a lot more seriously because there was this reality that was happening all around you. Now you said you were experiencing these symptoms. What was that like to be alone, cut off from the world in a little metal box? Well, you know, like

Even as you say that to me right now, like I'm getting flashbacks, you know, like it was quite an emotional experience for me. Thankfully, my mom is a nurse and so I just texted her like full transparency that this is what's happening. And, you know, she had a very sort of nurse-like reaction to being non-emotional and say, okay, you have to fight these symptoms. have to keep your fever down. You have to do what's best for yourself. You have to stay hydrated.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (24:53.534)
100%. And so they were delivering me gallons and gallons of water and I was forcing myself to drink that over and over. If I had the access to hot water, that would have been even better because that's very good for the respiratory system and opening the channels and whatnot. So it was super scary and it was something that I would write in my journal about and I had a dilemma whether or not I should call the medic or not.

Not really, like, my fever was never that high. had a thermometer, but it was fluctuating from 100 and 102. At one point in one night, it got to be 104, and that's when I was like, this is bad. I'm getting sort of like hallucinating dreams, but I'm awake, just having these like crazy fever thoughts. In the meantime, I would sweat through my sheets. I would change them, change my clothes, and then I would chill. And I would have this battle every night of like sweating and then chilling, and sweating and chilling.

You know, and so it was tough, but in the morning every day, it felt like my fever would break and then I would feel better. So when I could feel better, I would use that opportunity to move around, take a shower, get dressed, make my bed, enjoy the breakfast, you know, watch news for only an hour. I had to set the timer for that just to check in, you know, but these things, these things helped.

about three to four days in, I started having severe respiratory problems. I had this nagging cough and I would get really frustrated and tense and it would aggravate the cough. I felt like the way that I was handling and experiencing the situation, whether I was agitated or scared, that would aggravate the cough. So I would keep coughing. And once I started coughing, I couldn't breathe at all.

and the cough would continue. you know, then I started to cough up blood, not in like huge amounts, but in ways that, you know, were from irritation of coughing too much that happens with a lot of pneumonia patients and whatnot. was nothing that was like, it sounds a lot worse than it was. I mean, it freaked me out when I spit that, but this is just what was happening. So I had to go back to, you know,

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (27:16.826)
What I knew was that if I lied down on my bed and I breathed slowly, and I would do these like breathing exercise from like voice lessons where I would expand my lungs and I would keep my hands above my head so my rib cage was fully expanded and so I was getting the maximum amount of air into my lungs. And I would push it, I would breathe in as deep as I could until I felt the onset of a cough. And then I would exhale slowly. And then the next breath I could go a little bit further.

And at the same time, it was calming me down and sort of like in a meditative state, which continued to help with the fact that I wouldn't cough anymore. I was also getting a lot of oxygen into my lungs. So I would do this for about 30 minutes and then I would walk around and I wouldn't have to cough anymore. And I wouldn't have, I wouldn't feel a short of breath as much. So I started doing these like three times a day. And granted, like I didn't have internet and I didn't have a whole lot of TV options. And I had about like,

three things downloaded on my computer to watch for TV. So I had a lot of time to think about that. So I was basically like experiencing and going, hey, I've got to fight this as best as I can. If not fight it, I have to fight the symptoms. You know, I have to be present to what I'm feeling on my body on a day to day basis at a moment to moment basis. And I found this helped. So I started doing that three times a day and it made a huge difference. You know, I felt

that the more calm I was and the more that I just dealt with what was happening to me as it was happening to me in real time without putting these futuristic thoughts of will I get off the ship? Will these symptoms get worse? Will all this stuff happen? What can I control? I control here. I control this moment and this month's gonna turn into the next few hours. The next few hours is gonna turn into the evening and then another day of quarantine will have gone by. So I started to adapt.

to this lifestyle. By all means, I don't want to say that it was comforting, but it made the existence a lot more comfortable. And how you said that you were alerted as a crew member that that people had passed on the ship. Was that something that Holland America offered? Or did you hear that from the crew? Well, I heard it from the crew about 20 minutes before the captain announced it because it was already in the media. So people that's when I started getting a lot of

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (29:42.736)
DMs and people reaching out on Instagram and Facebook because suddenly the Zandam became an interest story in America. so news outlets were trying to, and I was hit up from several different NBC, CBS, ABC, different outlets wanting to talk and all this stuff. meanwhile, our internet was not great. even to call somebody, took dialing into the internet.

I'm hoping you get connected and then dialing somebody and then hoping that call wasn't interrupted. And in the meantime, like our captain was fully transparent with the fact that there was like a social media page for friends of the Zandam where people were writing whatever they wanted. like some people were writing horror stories of like, they're treating us like, you know, captive animals and blah, blah, blah. And it was affecting media.

which was affecting the politics of getting us home faster. suddenly like, social media being like, when I was sick, that was the thing that kept me going to be able to be like, my God, all these people just reached out. I can respond, you know, what a way to stay connected. What a way to be, you know, to have this network immediately at your fingertips to say, Hey, I'm here. Okay. That means a lot, especially if you're going through something like

this virus, is really, really tough to battle. But at the same time, it was causing the opposite effect on another level. Panama was hearing all this stuff and we were supposed to go through the Panama Canal and they were still deciding whether or not to let us through. So our captain was like, please try to stay off social media, try to deter from any kind of media intervention until this ship has landed in your home. Then do your e-trial.

true Hollywood story. know, that's what I'm doing right now with you. Exactly. Exactly. But like tell your story when it's appropriate because there are consequences to these actions. You know, Panama didn't want to let us through because their country wanted to protest it. And the Panama Canal goes through some rural stuff. have to go to climb this mountain to go to this lake and climb down these other mountains through the system of locks. It's something that takes like

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (32:06.834)
eight to 12 hours depending on when you do it and how to do it, you know? So there were people trying to get through. We were a ship that was already in the media as COVID-19 ship. We had six passengers. By this point, it was about 300. Four deaths that were reported. I still feel like there were probably more. I don't think they have obligation to release all of that information. I have no confirmed knowledge on that. you know,

You can imagine Panama going, I don't think this is a good idea for our own people. But then you had Canadian citizens, French citizens, UK citizens, American citizens, all of these embassies in Panama were putting major pressure and saying, hey, this is a humanitarian issue. You can't keep people who are healthy on board with people who are dying of this virus. We have to get them home as soon as possible so we can figure this out. And this has nothing to do with politics, you know?

And at the end of the day, were like, okay, we got to come to some agreement. And they led us through at 9 PM, which is a very unusual time to go through the Panama Canal. We were told to keep our windows drawn, not to have the lights on. And they basically sped us through the Panama Canal. If you can even imagine, it's not something you can speed through. It takes a day to do. I had never experienced this. So I had no idea until I was like,

I understand now how this works. Yeah. I went through a lock system before in a boat. I mean, it's a, it's an affair. So you're going into a level they're letting the water come in and then they're going to bring you up 200 feet, a hundred foot and you're to go into the next lock. So it is, it's very, very involved. And I can only imagine what the, you know, had their local news outlets gotten ahold of that information that it could have been, it could have gone another way. Do you know what was the final decision that got you guys a green light through the Panama canal?

Well, I think it's the same thing that got us actually able to dock in Fort Lauderdale, because there was a lot of protest about that as well once we were through. And that's at the end of the day, there's humans on board and they need help. We can't put a price on that. We can't say we might get infected as these people continue to be provenly infected and dying from it and say that that decision is really the right one.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (34:27.565)
you know, on just a human level, regarding of what country you're from and whatnot, you know, this is not something that anybody can say, I choose that this over this, you know, I think, I think that that was it. I don't know the details of what went on to put them to get us through the Panama Canal. I know that when we went to Florida, it was sort of the same situation. The governor of Florida was vehemently opposed to letting us come and port there.

And there were a lot of things that happened. There were online petitions. again, Facebook came to the rescue on that front. There were plenty of people that I reached out to that were leaving me messages that said, I already called the governor of Florida and put pressure and left a message that said, this is a humanitarian issue. You have to let these people talk. People I didn't even reach out to to ask to do that. People from my grade school that I hadn't heard from in 20 years leaving me these messages that I called the governor to see,

to get you and this people off the ship. That's the beauty of the social media and being able to be connected. So at the end of the day, they had to all sit in a, the governor, the mayor of the town, the CEO of Holland America, and they had to negotiate what are the terms. So basically they basically had to fund privately everyone's exit from the ship into a private shuttle, into a charter flight to wherever they were going on 1500,

passengers so as you can imagine that's not necessarily the easiest thing to do and They agreed to it and it happened within like three days You know first first the Florida people were off because they were local and they you know They had to have their meeting point with a person who was picking them up They had to have their surgical masks and they had to go to where they were supposed to be because they were citizens of the state Then it was like people traveling within the US simultaneously, you know

Most of the people that were affiliated with a specific country, like there was 120 French people that were on a chartered flight together. So they had a certain time call and they had a certain time when their buses came that took them to their flight. My flight to New York, it was basically on with all of the American citizens and we were chartered on a private flight to Atlanta to where they booked private flights on Delta and United and whatnot that were still flying.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (36:53.541)
for whatever kind of extension. So to leave Florida, we had a charter to Atlanta. We were in a bus and we had to kind of go in like actually several buses so that we all maintained a certain amount of distance. We were driven onto the tarmac. We weren't even in an airport. We were just loaded right on to the airplane and then we were kind of dumped in Atlanta. And then from there, we all had our own connecting flights on commercial flights.

and just follow protocol from there. got our luggage, we had to go check in, we had to go through TSA, and then we were on our own little, you I had a flight from Atlanta to LaGuardia and it had five people on it, you know, which was crazy, but it was just business as usual as far as an airport is concerned, except for the fact that it was empty except for the people on that plane, you know. And while somebody really laid out that plan, I mean, somebody had to meticulously.

These 150 are going here. These five are going here. We're arranging for these rides directly onto the tarmac. Do not pass go. I mean, cause essentially you guys had been in your own quarantine for how long were you, were you on the boat? think it was 13 days in quarantine and we were there for maybe, 10 days before then. No, that's that must be longer than that. Cause I was gone for total of like,

35 days, you know, it was supposed to be 14 days. So it extended. you know, as people know now with their New York quarantine, like time is so relative to what you think. It was hard to tell what day it was, how long it's been, but it was about a total of a month. So yeah, so the answer to your, you know, what you were saying, there was a specific plan and it was meticulously thought out and you know, Holland America had to deal with all of that.

I think they, given the circumstances, they handled everything as best they could. In retrospect, for me, looking back on it, I'm still stuck with so many memories of the ship. I still have dreams of it. My partner yesterday said that I was having this dream where I was talking to my sleep and I was saying, four walls, can't breathe. So I was probably having this claustrophobic thing. I don't remember my dream, but at any rate.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (39:14.125)
my conscious mind feels like it was handled the best as it could. And, you know, in retrospect, you know, getting back to when I was sick, I have to say that it probably is the best circumstances if you have to be sick, if you're already in a private quarantine room with food headed to you that you don't have to pay for or think about or prep and you're by yourself and you don't have to infect anything and you can have clean linens every day. You know, that that's probably an ideal situation for something like this.

It's as good as you could get if I had gone to a hospital and had somebody doing the same sort of treatment. know, so what I wish that I had had at the time, I wish that there were more people who were telling their story of what it was like to go through the symptoms of coronavirus. Because there's a lot of fear about, what if I get it? You know, this is kind of, we all kind of think that like, it isn't fun, but I think it would have been a lot easier to go through to say, hey,

You know, I've been through this. This is what I experienced. Not everybody's the same, but this is what I experienced. I've read a lot of people's stories of their experience now that more and more people are being honest about whether or not they got it or not. Not to say that, you know, speaking for myself, I didn't want to tell anybody. I felt guilty. I felt there was like shame to be like, I have this. I also don't want anyone to worry about me when there's nothing they could do. You know, at the end of the day, like this is what was going to happen.

I was still stuck on the ship. So let's just deal with what's actual real instead of a hyper sensationalized version. Yeah. And at the end of the day, you know, you're a young, you know, healthy individual and you know, if you look at the demographic of a cruise ship, we can, we can kind of, we can kind of correlate that obesity is a major risk factor.

of having to go on a ventilator. I mean, at the, again, there were people that went on that cruise with their partner and not everybody, you know, I can only imagine what it would be like to be in your room and, you know, lose your significant other on that ship. My, my heart immediately went out when I started hearing those stories. Yeah. And we were like living down the hall or next door. I mean, we don't know our neighbors, but

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (41:37.453)
we knew everybody was in this situation and we knew that this virus was on the ship, you know? And you know, when I heard that there had been a woman who lost her husband and she still had to stay quarantined in the same room and she was sick, but she was fighting it and had less conditions to make, you know, so she was able to overcome easier than her husband did, but she was still in that same room. And you know, that broke my heart because this was happening all around and

Obviously the average age of a person on a cruise ship is older than me and you. So that was just the reality of what was happening, which made it even more apparent that we have to get these people off the ship if they're healthy and whatnot. This is something that you can't let people live in this sort of Petri dish, because you never know how easily or not easily this virus spreads. We still don't.

Well, it sounds like, mean, hats off to Holland America. It sounds like they did absolutely everything they could in their power to handle the situation, which is, which is obviously unprecedented in our lifetime to have the whole world shut down where they just couldn't go anywhere for help. So I just want to, you know, just, I just want to, to honor that and what they did. And obviously, obviously getting my friend back to the United States. Thank you, Holland America.

And and again, you know, I think it brings up so many it brings up so many interesting points. Now, how do you feel? You know, I always had I've had I've always had my own intuitive hit about a cruise ship and whether it's the recirculating air, whether it's the fact that you're in a metal box and you're not grounded. You know, there's a grounding frequency when we put our feet on the earth that I often talk about the electrical current, whether it's the water that unless it's bottled

the tanks on the ship are problematic unless it's brought through the right filters. There's a lot of health and wellness things that is a, like a health advocate. I'm like, cruise ships aren't my thing. Now, how do you feel after being actually, you're a human that was dropped in this Petri dish. I mean, what would, you think you'd be able to go on a cruise again? Do you think that'd be something you'd be up for? I mean, that's like something that like my mom asked and Ryan asked us, one of the first questions people are.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (44:00.517)
people ask and I totally get it. This was my first cruise ship and I was so excited to go and I haven't traveled much in the world. So to be able to go to throughout all of South America, place I've dreamt about, sea cities that I've dreamt about, Buenos Aires, you know when I did Evita and played Che, I finally went to the grave and went to the Casa Rosada and it was just, it was a...

once in a lifetime vacation for me. my friends on the cruise ship and the people that I met that were working on it were kind of getting a kick out of me because the first week I was just doing everything that I was going to, the self-meditation class that was offered. I was going to this restaurant and then the piano bar one night and then the comedy show and then doing like 7 a.m. excursion when we're in Uruguay. And I was meeting all these people

you my friends were just like, I can't believe you know all these people. Like there are people on the ship that think you're the cruise director, because I kind of look like him. And I was just like talking to everybody and I was absorbing it all in and it didn't matter how old or where they were from, what language they spoke. Like one of my first experiences was after the self meditation class, there was only one other woman in it. And I asked her and I was like, I've never done this before. How are you feeling and whatnot. And she just spoke French and then

I started speaking French to her from my high school French. took three years and then in college I took two years. And we had this sort of broken, she didn't speak any English, but we had this broken French, broken English slash charades conversation that was pretty amazing. And then she introduced me to her boss, which was in charge of this huge group of French people that were like, I think it was like 120 of them. And

I became really good friends with her boss and she and I planned all these other things. I ended up teaching a dance class to French students with a translator who also was a dancer. you know, we were doing all these things that was like, when would this happen? Unless you were open to this possibility of just being, you know, just say, just say yes, what's going to happen? You know, when you're on a cruise ship, like your, your worries are kind of taken away and

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (46:23.395)
you're living in this surreal world where you're just like open to just saying yes to everything, you know, and that's how I was living it. And, you know, I don't think I necessarily have that kind of perspective every day when I was in New York City, you know, on some days maybe, but it definitely takes, takes a lot more effort. Cause as you know, the city is very hard and whatnot. Then this whole thing happened with the coronavirus and then me getting, you know, when I got sick, that was kind of my own spiritual journey and recovering.

and being alone without technology, was able to log on to the internet, but it was like once a day and it was like old dial up AOL style. Nothing was immediate. I would spend hours staring at the circle waiting for it to connect, just being like, why won't it connect? And why am I putting so much of my happiness on whether or not this connects or not? Why can't I just accept that it's not gonna connect? What's next? Then what do you do? I don't know.

Maybe pick up your journal, maybe read that book. I don't know, maybe stare at the walls. I stared a lot at the walls. You know, going through that as well, going back to your original question, like when the cruise ship was working, it was incredible. When it wasn't working and it was kind of like this nightmare experience, I also took a lot from it. So I would definitely go back on the cruise ship. Like this didn't deter me. This just is as a factor in my life to know that like,

I can handle what's next. It's beautiful. That's how I feel about cruise ships. It gives people an opportunity to see multiple cultures and the land destinations are definitely one of the biggest perks. But what they don't realize is also the time at sea and the ability to just open up to strangers. If you choose to do that is also, it's just a unbelievable opportunity. That's awesome.

That's awesome. was hoping you would say yes, just for the sheer fact of you sort of got to get back on the horse. I mean, you can't leave it like that. You just can't. mean, it's even once I was walking off the ship and I was had tears in my eyes to be back on land. And you know, Fred, have to tell you walking like when I landed in LaGuardia, it was five people on my flight. went to our baggage claim and there were five suitcases.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (48:46.981)
and there was no line and there was no taxis outside. And you know, I hadn't been in the city with the coronavirus. I didn't even know if you could call an Uber. I don't know if that was like, ooh, that's, you know, that's unquarantined sensibilities. He was like, but I wasn't gonna take the bus. I wasn't gonna take the subway. So I was like, well, I might as well try. I called an Uber. It was 11 minutes away. I was like, oh, that's weird. Normally they're pretty fast around the airport.

I waited and he picked me up. You know, I didn't really have any other option. And he was like thanking me. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, I've been at home with my app on for two hours hoping to get a fair because I have to work. You know, and he was like, I live right next to this hospital in Queens. It's over a lot with people and I still have to work. I have to send money home to Pakistan where my parents live and my two brothers and my sister live.

I'm keeping everything as clean as possible. There's a lot of taboo. Like he had already disinfected the car. He said he was gonna do it after I left. His compartment was situated. And we just had this amazing conversation as we traveled across the Triborough Bridge that was empty into a city that had no traffic on like, what is it, the FDR highway? And then onto the George Washington Highway up to Hudson Heights where I live that was also empty.

And I just had this conversation about how like, yeah, life is different. I hadn't experienced anything. I wasn't really ready for what everybody else was going through that they've been through in their own like isolation for four weeks or three weeks. But it was really another awesome lesson. And I got to my apartment and I had dreamt about getting there, walking in my front door. I had, you know, thought about it. You know, I can't tell you how much, you know, when I was in that little room on the cruise ship.

and I just started crying. And I walked down the hall, it wasn't just because I was sad or happy, everything was just so emotional. And I couldn't believe that I was on land in my apartment. And I walked in, and I hugged my partner Ryan, and for like 15 minutes we just embraced and I just cried. And my dog sat there at my feet waiting for me to acknowledge him.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (51:05.263)
patiently and then I did I was like, buddy and he jumped into my arms and like started licking my face and like again, I started crying and It was just I was so happy to be home. I was so overwhelmed with everything that was happening and Yeah, I I don't wish being quarantined on the ship on anyone, you know, it just it put everything in perspective and It just made it coming home and just appreciate things that

You you take for granted, like even just like having a window, you know, opening the window, you know, going on a walk and seeing the sunshine. I went 12 days without sunshine or fresh air. That was tough. How are you going to live your life differently after being on that ship? I wish I could say I'm going to be a changed person and just be 100 percent, you know, open and ready to say yes to everything. The reality is life is hard and things are thrown at you.

And I'm gonna do my best as all anybody can. I notice people that have been in New York quarantine, they're handling and processing things different. And some people need a schedule and they want to get up with the sun and shower and have, this is workout time and this is reading time and this is meal prep time and that works for them. And some people wanna sleep and that works for them, I guess.

I'm not having any judgment on it. I just feel like people are entitled to process how they want to experience their life. However, I just want people to know, at least for me, what I know is that I want it to be your choice. If I choose to sleep in because I just want to have a day where I sleep in, I want to be able to do that without it being I'm sleeping in because I want to be numb and go away from it.

Like it's okay to recognize that you need it and do it as long as that's your choice. If you choose to be active and accomplish your goals and grab life every day, like make that your choice. You know, it's not about posting it on social media to make other people think that you're doing it, but actually actively take part in enjoying accomplishing those goals. If you want to binge watch Breaking Bad, do it because you always wanted to watch it, not because you just want to put something on the background so you can

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (53:28.153)
tune out and be numb, you know? It's just, I realize I used to do a lot of these things only for the sake of being numb. Eating, drinking, TV, sleeping in, exercising even, you name it. But what I can take away from and what I'm trying to do on a day to day basis is at least be aware if it's in my actual mind that I'm choosing this activity and I'm choosing to do this and not pass judgment on myself.

and also not on others that might have a different idea of what they choose. Yeah. Beautiful, man. well, we're going to close it up. I want to be respectful of your hour and I want to let you get a good night's sleep and thank you, buddy. I want to get this podcast edited so people can hear because I, I really do. I think it's so, I think it's so important to hear how different people are handling this experience.

And I think you handled it with beauty and grace. I'm, again, I'm selfishly, I'm just, I'm glad you're home. I'm glad that, and, full of gratitude that, that Holland America was able to execute everything that they did to get that ship around, you know, the tip of South America through the Panama canal, negotiate the landing on Florida, you know, fly home 300 passengers. can see how

unbelievable that architecture was. I think it's just it's a great story and I'm really thankful it ended the way it did and I'm glad you can share and I thank you for being on the podcast. No, thank you buddy. I can't tell you how much it means to me to actually put this into words and stuff like that. It helps me process what happened. I'm still dealing with it obviously and I feel like the more that I get to share it, the more that it helps me as well as hopefully

anybody else who connects with anything that I said. So thank you. You got it. And I hope to see you in person soon, you know, whenever that may be. But thank you so much, Freddie. Yeah, it's going to happen soon. I am manifesting that I think we all need community. We all need hugs. So thank you for being here. Namaste. Bye. Ladies and gentlemen, you made it to the end of the podcast.

Freddie Kimmel and Brendt Reil (55:45.187)
Now in a world where the average attention span is less than 10 seconds, we just spent almost an hour together. And I think this is the beginning of something really beautiful. Now one way to support the podcast is to head over to freddysetgo.com and check out my newly launched page, Freddy's Faves, where I've linked every five star product and healing modality you hear about on the show. Most offer significant discounts by clicking the link. And please know it doesn't cost you anything extra.

And at the same time, they support the show through affiliation. So check out Freddy's faves on freddysecko.com. episode of the beautifully broken podcast was brought to you by our sponsor, AmpCoil, upgrading the vibrations of hearts, minds and bodies all over the world. Thank you for tuning in. If you enjoyed today's show, head over to iTunes and leave a five star review. Grabbing a download is like giving this virtual thumbs up that we're doing it right. And if you want to connect with me, shoot me a message on Instagram at freddysetgo.com or at freddysetgo. That's all for today. Our closing, our closing, the world is hurting. We need you at your very best. So take the steps today to always be upgrading whatever it takes to move the needle. Remember, while life is pain, putting those fractured pieces back together is a beautiful process. I'm your host. I love you. Namaste. Have a wonderful day.