The Cancer Misfit with Saskia Lightstar

In this episode, Freddie invites Saskia Lightstar - a Cancer Misfit, a spiritual teacher, and an inspirational speaker. She talks about her experience with cancer, how she powered through her cancer journey, and how it has made her into the empowered woman and Cancer Misfit that she is today. As someone who has had her life shifted into a complete 360, Saskia gives her point of view on life and how we should love ourselves inside and out.

This episode focuses on Saskia’s healing journey, her different viewpoints in life (especially on health and wellness), and her passion for becoming a better person holistically.

Episode Highlights

01:29 Saskia talks about her cancer diagnosis and how it changed her life

05:22 She talks about her enlightenment through cancer, what she calls the “Cancer Cocoon”, and becoming a changed person after her diagnosis

16:10 Freddie and Saskia talk about politics and how this has opened everyone’s eyes

24:31 Saskia shares about her journey with cancer, self-care, and how healing is different for everyone. Freddie talks about loving your body, yourself, and treating your body right.

32: 47 Freddie shares a story about alternative platforms of healing and the importance of trying new ways to heal yourself. Saskia talks about vegetarianism and biohacking your way of eating.

41:14 Saskia talks about tapping into your spiritual self, how meditation can come in many forms, and the magic of human connection.

46:29 Saskia continues to discuss her book The Cancer Misfit and being a writer

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (00:00.118)
And so I kept trying to go back to my old life, kept trying to find the old me. And I was miserable because I couldn't get to her. She'd gone. I didn't know this at the time. So I kept just trying to be the old me. But that skin didn't fit me anymore.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (00:20.556)
Welcome to the Beautifully Broken Podcast. I'm your host, Freddie Kimmel, and on the show we explore the survivor's journey, practitioners making a difference, and the therapeutic treatments and transformational technology that allow the body to heal itself. Witness the inspiration we gain by navigating the human experience with grace, humility, and a healthy dose of mistakes. Because part of being human is being beautifully broken.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (00:54.703)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the beautifully broken podcast. I'm here with a very special guest from across the pond. Saskia Lightstar, how are you doing this morning? I'm doing awesome. Thank you for having me. And I didn't butcher your name, right? No, you didn't. You said it perfectly. Perfectly. Your accent. I love it. I love it. So we have some common threads in our healing journeys. Why don't you tell the audience?

a little bit about your background into health and wellness. That's a good spot to start. Hello audience. My name is Saskia Lightstar and I used to be a superficial airhead that only cared about partying, hot boyfriends and designer shoes. And then I got cancer in 2013.

And the two things I based all my confidence and self-worth on, which were my tits and my hair, were taken away from me. And that was without doubt the worst thing that ever happened to me and without a doubt the best thing that ever happened to me. Because it was only by having being bald and having one boob for a while.

that I had to dig deep and find self-worth and self-love and acceptance somewhere else. And that was the beginning of the best journey of my life in a very small nutshell. is a perfect intro. You have that like on a postcard somewhere, right? Nope. Nope, not yet. Not yet. Wow. So 2013, you know, obviously you were, as you said, you were leading a very different life. What was your diagnosis moment like?

I always find that fascinating to people. It's like, I can see mine. can see the day. I can see the people around it. It's like this moment frozen in time. I'd love to hear yours. It's funny. You know, I literally, went there because I had a benign lump that I just wanted removed because my boyfriend was complaining about it. So I went there with a hangover. I'd been out the night before. was a Thursday night, which was our regular party night. So I went there with a hangover Friday morning.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (03:11.958)
and she had the worst bedside manner. She was like, well, I've got no problem removing the benign tumor. I'm just worried about the cancerous one next to it. And that was essentially how I got told. Now for me, I think when you get diagnosed with cancer, you switch flicks. It did for me anyway, I should speak personally. And I went straight into survival mode. So it was almost like, as soon as I got the diagnosis, all the walls went up and it was like, okay, I've got cancer, time to do whatever I have to do not to die.

And essentially I kind of felt that way for the whole two years when I was going through the treatment. It's almost like in order for us to survive trauma, a switch flicks. And so I didn't really feel it as much until after everything was over. And then it was kind of like, that's when I went back into manual and the feeling suddenly came up and I was like, whoa, what just happened to me? And I feel like I've just been run over by a bus. If that makes sense. Yeah, completely.

Completely. I've actually just had, you know, during the pandemic, as we stopped and we really paused, when we really stopped, it was probably the first time that I had really, really, really stopped. And I had some massive trauma come up in the middle of the summer. I had these moments of, I would see myself at 26, 27, and just going into like, yeah, let's do the surgery. Let's do the chemo. Let's start, you know,

Not really questioning it. You know, you're in survival mode. And I had these moments of like, how are you so stupid? How did you not feel that then? You know, how were you so arrogant to be like, yeah, let's cut you open and take out all these organs. And, and it hit me. Those feelings hit me hard. There were days it took me right to the floor. But now on the other side, I feel really, really good. You know, that I allowed some of that to get out.

like you said, survival mode, went into process. When did you start to get the download that this was the best thing that ever happened to you? When did it start? When did you start having awareness around the amazing experience of having cancer? So I think for two or three years after the treatment ended, I was in pitch black darkness because the doctor said to me, right, treatment's done, go back to normal. Okay. Well, one, there's no going back. And two, there's sure as hell no normal after cancer.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (05:38.966)
And so I kept trying to go back to my old life, kept trying to find the old me. And I was miserable because I couldn't get to her. She'd gone. I didn't know this at the time. So I kept just trying to be the old me, but that skin didn't fit me anymore. I call the whole concept the cancer cocoon. You know, when you go into the survival mode, when you're diagnosed, it's like you go into this cocoon. So

You're numb and you're just doing what you have to do to survive. But really inside there's all this stuff realigning and you're changing and you're transforming, but you're so fixated on chemo and operations and all the crap at the hospital and surviving it. You don't realize you've changed. So you come out the other side and you look in the mirror and you're like, okay, I kind of look like the old me, but I don't feel like the old me. So who am I? Which is

Why I love the name of your podcast so much, by the way. I mean, genius, beautifully broken. And the name of my book, The Cancer Misfit, it's, you don't fit in anywhere. Suddenly it's like, I used to fit in that box, but I don't fit in that box. I used to be a square peg. Now I'm this wonky shape peg. What am going to do with that? And I was in such a dark, depressed state that I just, that was when I thought, okay, I'm going to look into things, mind, body and spirit. Maybe that's going to help me.

So as I started that journey, my gosh, like, I don't know, I'd learn about Louise Hay. And so I'd read a Louise Hay book. And then through that book, I'd learn about Ram Dass. And then I'd read about him. And then every time, and then I start doing positive affirmations. And then I started trying mirror work. And I just got happier and happier and happier until I went way past any happiness I used to have before cancer and just kept rocketing.

Up, up, up to the point that I am now annoyingly happy. I like annoy people because I'm not sad. Yeah. Your cups full and it's running over. Yeah. And I think that pisses people off. People don't know really what to do with happy people. Cause I think they're more used to being able to sort of complain and judge and be a bit negative with. And if you're positive, it sort of grates them the wrong way. I feel like. I do too. I would consider myself.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (08:02.538)
wired for joy or positivity. I also feel like part of the evolution and gift of cancer for me, especially in the last two years, because I'll be honest with you, cancer was unique. And then I also went through some other stuff like some Lyme disease and chronic mold and, you know, chronic fatigue for like a long time. And that the darkness in the shadow associated with like having a low battery.

That's another amazing teacher too. So with that experience, specifically that side, I've come to value being able to experience the full palette of emotions. Absolutely. 100%. Not chronic positivity, but you know, sitting in shame and sorrow and grief, which is new. I'm letting some of these colors play through this year.

But that's to me what happiness is. It's being able to sit in whatever feelings you have. That to me is happiness because my whole life I avoided the negative painful feelings and I would overeat or I would drink or I would buy something I didn't need on Amazon or there were so many things I used. And when I say happiness, it doesn't mean that I'm like this excitable, joyful bunny rabbit all the time. It means that when I'm sad, I'll sit and I'll

cry and I'll do it on social media very openly because I embrace all my emotion. But there's always this foundation that's holding me, which is, suppose, what I consider the happiness to be. Allowing yourself to feel grief, allowing yourself to feel anger in a healthy way, any emotion, that's freedom. Yeah. Because once you do that, nothing can pull you under because the only way

to overcome a negative emotion is to go through it. And as soon as you, don't know from your experience, when you allow yourself to feel it, it essentially evaporates and it lets go of you. Yeah. Or it sticks itself in your body somewhere and it hides. Usually because we wouldn't allow ourselves to, I feel like that's why I got cancer because I was avoiding a lot of the stuff that was going on for me.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (10:16.94)
Yeah. And I poisoned myself. I really believe that. just, I know why I got cancer. Like I really do. I do too. I was doing an EMDR session during the pandemic, which is, know, you have these sensors and you're doing this rapid eye movement. You're trying to associate with a feeling or allow a feeling to kind of unravel in your brain, like unravel trauma. And I had the moment, like I saw it. I saw the relationship and I saw the boxing up of feelings.

It was like a lightning bolt, like coming from heaven, like right down into my like cancer. Wow. You know, you ever see that picture? It's like a meme of like, it's like a kid on the ground and there's like a boot on his face. And then the one next to it, it's like after psychedelics and like, you see the kid with the boot and his hands in the boot, like he's shoving his own face into the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. That's it. When I was this superficial airhead.

I had a really bad eating disorder for 15 years. was anorexic bulimic. Of course I made it because it was all about my looks, but obviously there was so many repressed emotions going on and traumas. And the one thing I used to say, and I can say this now, although I used to have a lot of shame and guilt around it is I used to say to my friends all the time, I would rather get cancer than get fat. So I mean, the universe heard me. I said it.

So when I got diagnosed, suppose I wasn't really that surprised. Cause if you're to go around saying something like that, then you better watch out, you know? And I did get fat because of all the steroids from the chemo. So I got fat, bald, had one tit. I mean, talk about karma being a bitch. Yeah. You know? Yeah. But the greatest gifts, you know, the worst times for us as you, think, no, like I wouldn't want it any other way. No, me neither.

Me neither. it's so interesting. Cancer brings such awareness to what is. And any trauma, to be honest. Yeah. And that's why I love the name of your podcast. I feel like beautifully broken is essentially the same as the title of my book, Cancer Missed It. It's that you go through a trauma and you just become such a beautiful person as an outcome of it. Whatever the trauma is.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (12:33.87)
You feel like you've lost the best part of yourself for what you don't realize is that's bollocks that actually you've just got to realize you are uncovering the best parts of yourself. true. That's it. Yeah. It's amazing to look back and think about the person that you were before you went through this experience. so much content. I always think I look back at my like, like at 26 or whatever it was 20. Yeah. I think I was 26.

There was so much contraction. You know, there was so much fear. was trying to put myself in this box and be this thing and to all these people. And I had this vision of what, you know, I wanted, whether it was like fame or success or money, whatever it was, it's just, there's so much contraction in that. You know, these things that were programmed that like, you need these things to be happy. If you don't get these things, you're not going to be a success and you're not going to be happy.

Yeah. then, especially with any type of trauma and experience like this, you learn, you learn to just slowly cut those ties to attachment and just say, I'm here to be a human for a hundred years. And then you realize that, well, all those things I thought would make me happy. I don't need them. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you also, you can look at your models for happiness. You're like, well, my people who had all those things.

They weren't really happy. Not really. There was a lot of bullshit going on. you prefer who you are today to that 26, 27 year old before all the nightmare stuff? Yeah, I'm like superhuman. I couldn't create this container with a magic wand if I tried. I never could have imagined just the mental versatility and you know, the insight and the gifts and

language and you know, it's so much beyond what I ever imagined could be. And I feel like, sorry to interrupt. No, no, I got more to go. There's more discovery to be had. Well, I feel really strongly and I have ever since I first heard your podcast, I essentially feel like you have the same life purpose as me. We need people to understand that this isn't just us, that they've got it too, that the people that have been through traumas, like cancer or whatever it is,

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (14:59.846)
Yes, we are superhuman, but you are as well. You just have to tap into it. The problem is, is you just don't realize that you are. And I feel like our responsibility is just to help people find their way to that part of themselves. Yeah. Yeah. I've been thinking a lot about this a lot. And so much so that I reached out to a really good friend. She's been on the podcast before Kathy wheelhand. I want to do some work on creating like my vows.

You know, like, like you said, your purpose, your mission, for some reason, there's something coming up for me. need to spend time with that. I need to clarify what the mission is because I feel good and I like this. I like where I'm at. I like what I'm creating. do. I enjoy life, but I'm called to like write a vow right now. There's something I want to re-examine about it. I want to re-examine the mission because you know, I'm ever aware that this year has changed. mean, listen, the States.

It's a shit show over here. You haven't noticed. We are watching the news thinking America is a shit show. It's shit show. And this experiment of democracy, you know, from my understanding, you know, more or less failed. There's some huge problems with capitalism. Huge problems. You know, I always have this idea. Can we cap it at like 900 million? Can you, if you get to 900 million, you won capitalism. You don't get to get any more money.

But this trickle-down economics, the past 50 years, it's just failed. So this gap between the up and the low is just so wide. And now there's so much anger and resentment. then, know, Lord, the last four years, whatever your politics be, one thing that you can't deny is that the leader of our country has made a space for dehumanizing the people around the world.

You know, we've made it the norm to put children in cages. We've made it the norm to talk about women in a terrible way. You know, we've made it the norm to refer to other races as animals. This is like the leader of the free world. This is what he uses every day talk for. But you know, there's so much hate for this man everywhere, right? So much hate. But when I think about him, this stuff was already there before him. Of course. It was in the shadows and it was never talked about.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (17:22.432)
And so it kept on happening and it kept on happening. And actually the gift that knobface, the lovely person who's lost his way has given us is he's brought light on stuff that needed to be in the light and has triggered transformation. People are trying to change the way they think. People are trying to change the way things are. And

people are connecting with each other in a common goal to get away from all that. Yeah. So in a way that I'm an annoying optimist, but if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be doing that. Yeah. So I think things were getting so bad and whoever you believe in, God, universe, mother earth is like, you guys are just not opening your eyes to what's going on on this planet.

So we're going to give you something that's going to make you open your eyes and then just, can you now get it and do something about it? And I feel like we're finally like, okay. I think I'm going to try and be a better person. Yeah, I know that's all that is so true. And I think about that. I think about the gift of number 45 and I say this and I know it's, it's so controversial and this country has handled this pandemic so poorly. I mean,

So poorly. there's so many confounding factors to that. And at the end of the day, I do, I am grateful for this experience. I often will give the analogy that, you know, it's like doing a renovation on your home and you have this beautiful home and you buy it you're going to renovate it and you rip off the walls. It's like filled with black mold and you're like, no, this is going to be way harder than I thought. Right. And there was no other way around it. Cause if we would have just done the renovation.

you know, a painted, put up some new drywall, you put up some shiplap, you just cover up the mold. I think that's what we've done for the last 200 years. And so it's right. However, I think what we're facing and I'm very nervous about is that history does repeat itself. And typically when society gets to this point, it is not a peaceful transition into awareness. There is conflict, there's bloodshed, there's war, there's civil war. You know, that's some stuff.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (19:48.598)
Like that's what I, in the morning, I take walks with that. Like the grief and fear of that's coming that we'll see people, we'll see our own country take up arms against one another. And yes, we, or I want to say that, you know, the independence Democrats, moderates, whoever you align with, you know, the overwhelming majority by 83 million voted for a new leader. However, that 70 million, they're not going anywhere. These are people that watch our Superbowl.

shop at Walmart, they go to movie theaters, they go bowling, they're not leaving. And a lot of people are doubling down on that. They want to embrace the division. And so I just, I wonder, and I'm just trying, like you, I'm trying to hold space. I'm trying to be optimistic, but that is scary to me. My generation, mean, ish, we've never had a massive war. You typically we, you fight for democracy, right? You have to earn it.

In the past, it's a tough system to just allow. So I'm just, nervous. I would be lying if I didn't say I was like scared shitless. And there aren't times in the day where I just, I'm very nervous about this transition and what falls afterwards. I actually just had a text from one of my close personal friends. I wrote this big thing about, sorry to get on this topic. We're like on, we're talking about politics. No, it's interesting. I'm interested. The images of the attempted coup.

in the White House, there was this one image of this guy like waving a flag, right? And right behind him is a mural of Columbus exploring America. And he's riding in with this armor and there's gleaming light around him and on the ground are cowering these the Native Americans Indians. And the women are scared and they're like crying and I'm like, how is that a mural in our capital? How is that a mural? You know, it's eerie that it's right behind this coup. I'm like, look at this is

So Biden keeps saying he's like, you know, this is not who we are. This is not who we are. I'm like, wow, it's exactly who we are. This is who we've always been. There's this level of awareness that I just, I hope everybody sees we have the opportunity here to change our story. think it's perspective as well, because when you described that mural to me, maybe the reason it's there is to make sure no one forgets. So it doesn't happen again that, you know,

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (22:10.882)
This is what we did to ourselves. This is what we did to these people. We're not going to do this again. I was actually went through cancer treatment in South Africa. I lived in Cape Town for 13 years. So, you know, it's so interesting how obviously our few points come from our experience because I lived in a country and it never ceases to amaze me and it never will how there was apartheid. And then Mandela came into power and they didn't seek revenge. I mean,

I'm in a constant state of awe every time I think about it, that they just came from love and it was, do you know how that could have kicked off? Yeah. Just like right now. It's the same. It could kick off. It could kick off. Yeah. But I've seen how it doesn't necessarily have to. Yeah. Amazing. It is possible. It does exist. I lived in a country where that was the case. And I'm going to be naive and say, if

We get too sucked into the fear. That's the trick. We have a choice. We have a choice between love and fear. And I know it's hard, but when you're feeling fearful, that's when more than ever, you've got to do the work to feel the love and the positivity. Because I have faith in the American people. I have faith that you're going to try and find a different way this time. And maybe I'm being naive, but I kind of like my naivety because I want to dream that

gargantuan dreams that change is possible. Yeah. You know, I think we have to visualize that. think we've got to see it and breathe it and have our actions, you know, showing up a way that, calls that in. I totally agree with you. And instead of judging everyone, which everyone's doing at the moment, you did this and they said this and they're doing this. like, stop pointing your finger. Look at the other fingers. When you point, they're looking back at you, focus on what you can do. If you can just

come from a place of loving kindness, then you are doing your part. Right now, each one of us has a responsibility to just come from a place of loving kindness. It's not rocket science. Just be a nice person, help everyone. It doesn't matter who they are, just be good. Stop being a shithead, pardon my French. Amen. Amen. Amen. Let's talk about more cancer.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (24:33.006)
I wanted to ask about your treatment. I would think it's fascinating. Everybody's got such different views on this and you know, being on 2006, 2021, you know, I'm more than 15 years out. I am so much more holistic minded and I know stuff about health. I've learned stuff that I believe to be true about health. These are my truths through self-practice, but at the time it was like chemo, surgery, yada, yada, yada. You know, I knew nothing about

I mean, I've learned so much incredible things about how the body works as a self-healing system. And that just was a no level of awareness in mind whatsoever. I'd love to hear your experience and how that's evolved over time and maybe some things that you've learned through your journey that you incorporate now on the day to day to ensure that you're in this state of vibrancy and hold your recovery.

I think I'm definitely the same as you. didn't really have a clue about that stuff. And it's not like the doctors help you in any way with anything to do with mind, spirit, holistic, you know, self care. It's all just medical, medical, clinical, clinical, physical, physical. And I sort of did the experimenting in the exploring as well. Now, you know, I used to wake up in the morning and

I mean, now when I wake up in the morning, I have my coffee because I do like my cup of coffee, but then I go and meditate. And after meditation, I have hot water with fresh lemon, fresh ginger, fresh turmeric, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, ginger, like this mixture. And it's like, I think of it as an Alexa. It's this magical Alexa that just does magical stuff to my body. And I've just incorporated little things like that. I speak to somebody like you and you say, you just told me before we did.

the start of the podcast about coffee's got a lot of crap in it and that you can get this new kind of coffee that's got hasn't got all the crap in it. So now I'm like, cool, that's the kind of coffee I'm going to buy from now on. Like the most important thing I've learned though is self care. Most importantly, like how pivotal it is and how we think we're doing it, but we don't. Like I say to my clients,

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (26:53.942)
One of the first things I say is write a list of the five most important people in your life. And everyone does the list and nobody gets it right because your name is supposed to be number one. Your name has to be number one. And we don't do that. We're so busy making sure the kids are okay, our partners are okay, our friends are okay, our family's okay. But it's, you know, it's that.

old story like on the plane, you have to put your own life jacket and oxygen mask on first and take care of you. And then you can be a ninja for everybody else. But if you're not looking after you, everyone's going to suffer the consequences of that. And I think one of the things like, for instance, before cancer, the only reason I would go and get nice nibbly bits from an expensive deli or run a bubble bath with

rose petals and candles was if it was with a man. Right? Like I wouldn't do stuff like that just for me. Now I don't have a bath unless there's rose petals and candles. And it's always for me. And I'll go to a deli and I'll buy myself those expensive artisan chocolates and whatever it is for me. Cause I love me and me deserves everything amazing.

Like, why did it take me 40 years to get that point? It amazes me how I was so crap to myself my whole life. And now I tend to spend the rest of my years making it up to me. Yeah. You know, and that is looking after what you put in your body completely. But having said that, like I try and live a really healthy lifestyle with the food that I eat. However, if I have a craving on a hot summer's day for an ice cream,

I'm gonna let myself have one. Cause it's not about restriction. It's about moderation. And sometimes loving yourself is to order the pizza. Sometimes, sometimes it's knowing why you're doing it. It's tuning into yourself and being like, right. Am I trying to like numb myself from something or am I just adoring myself so much? I'm giving myself what I want. You know, it's interesting. I totally agree with you. I totally agree with you. And because of

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (29:10.303)
the again level of awareness and it was really, you again, the whole like auto immunity lime mold thing, you know, you get so over sensitized to environmental triggers, you could actually have an autoimmune reaction to water, you get mass cell activation, you know, you get such a sensitive body, because it's so dysregulated the terrain, it's more inclined to have a great home for viruses and bugs and parasites. So

Everything hurts. you know, there's 300 and God, it's like 340, 400,000 people diagnosed with Lyme every year in the United States. It's huge. And it's, this is a debilitating long-term chronic illness. often say I had so much more empathy for having cancer than going through this other, you know, autoimmune experience. And one thing that really helps the body recover and set the stage to move forward out of that, that, that disease state is elite.

food and eating platform. And what that means to me is just, it doesn't mean restriction, it means clean. So like, how do you put everything through the filter of clean? So if we're going to do clean, then we got to look at, we have to look at factory farming. You know, we've got to look at the fact that United States has a hundred times the amount of glyphosate, which is round up. This is a weed killer on our food supply. Very different from Europe. You know, you guys are at like a 10, we're at like a hundred.

That's why people can often eat the bread in the United States. They cannot eat it in the United States. They go over to Europe. They're like, I could eat pizza. I could eat pasta. It was all great. And it's this enzymatic inhibitor called glyphosate, which stops enzyme production, which we know enzyme production is essential to life. Without quality enzymes, you're going to die. You're going to get cancer. You're going to go off the planet really quickly. So I'm always aware of, can you eat pizza for a day? Of course. You know, can you eat ice cream once a month? Of course. That's not going to tip the scale.

and our children's children, this generation, the next generation, they're not going to live as long as we do. They're going to be saddled with these chronic illnesses more and more and more. And I always want to implore people, it's like, you know, have pizza, but like go organic, go cassava flour, go goat cheese, go, you know, a non GMO tomato. Like you can make the version of this. And so I think for long-term cancer, if I re we really want to see these numbers come down,

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (31:34.219)
we have to re-examine what we see as food and how we feed ourselves in our relationships with food. So I am with you and the biggest thing, the biggest thing we know this to be true from hardcore science is the nervous system. If your nervous system believes it's bad, if you're shaming yourself around what you're eating, that's the worst. Everything shuts down, you're in sympathetic dominance, fight or flight, you're not gonna get any nutrients from it anyway.

So you've got to love yourself and love your food and embrace that state of being and say, you know what, I'm eating this and I'm doing it because I love myself right down to my bones. Which is why 90 % of the time you're eating healthy stuff because you love yourself. Because you love yourself. because I'm forcing myself to eat this. It's like, I love myself so much. Yeah. Everything I put in my body, I'm a queen. So I deserve.

that kind of food I deserve to be taken care of and looked after and nobody else can do that better than I can do that. Essentially sugar and refined flour, think from a cancer perspective, you'd need to make peace, let go, find alternatives for sure. had just had a woman who I had worked with and professionally we had done some therapy in New York City for a while and

She called me over Thanksgiving. She was like, Hey, she's like, I got some bad news. My daughter going in her freshman year of college, they found a tumor on her adrenal gland. They found a metastatic mass somewhere in her shoulder. They don't know what it is. They're just going to blast her with radiation. mean, it was terrible news. Terrible. And she's like, I want to, can I just pick your brain? Can I know where we should start? And he had it. So I'm giving her all these things like outside of the box.

And it's tough because you're telling these people, they're like, what? That works? that, my doctor didn't tell me that. I gave her five things and her doctor was like, none of these things are real. And from my understanding and level of awareness, it's like, no, they're real. People are using these in clinics and they're really, here's like 18 people who had stage four melanoma and they're all alive six years later. So you can't say it didn't work for anybody. And this was a factor, you know, so we're talking about all these things, which, you know, again, just bring it into the conversation. So it's not a head turn.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (33:50.709)
But one thing that I gave her, was like, look into the ketogenic diet, look into fasting, because there's some really good science about fasting before whatever treatment you get, be it radiation or chemotherapy, that it's a neuroprotective protective to the cell. We're going to get less damage. know, people even experience their hair doesn't even really fall out when they fast 48 hours before chemotherapy. Now, the dogma is, that cancer patients all lose weight.

You know, they go into this wasting state, which is like, it is like end the stage cancer. is not, you know, it's just huge misunderstanding. unfortunately doctors are oncologists are mostly it's like emergency medicine. like, let's get this cancer out of you, which is they're amazing at, I wouldn't be alive here without it. And there's more conversation to be had around what we can do to preserve the bioterrain, preserve the body in this. If we're going to go in and blast someone with chemotherapy and

And it's amazing to me how many people don't want to hear this. So I had given her this and I gave her about, I don't know, I gave her eight white papers, right? Looking at large 360, 400 people doing this, like neuroprotective, really good stuff. And her cousin, who's a doctor, he was like, these are bad studies. They don't work. Yada yada. It was just, it was, you know, it became this like, you know, she, she goes, can you get on the phone and convince him? I'm like, you need to read this.

Get in your heart. If it resonates, you guys got to explore this for you. I'm an educator. I'm not a prescription person. I'm not prescribing you anything. And you can't force it on anybody. They've got to have the willingness to try. No, I have been so fascinated with cancer as a metabolic dysfunction. When our metabolism, when our, our mitochondria are compromised, that we make this perfect spot for cancer. Because if we have a fully charged body,

functioning mitochondria, they're making this max output of adenosine, triphosphate ATP. And we see this in the alternative health space. When we can optimize mitochondria function, we get a better outcome throughout cancer. And we don't do, there's nothing really to support or prop up mitochondria function in modern day cancer treatment. That's, I think there's a big gap there. It's a challenge. You've got a challenge on your hands because we have been conditioned and programmed. And I know.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (36:13.289)
that even if, you know, if I get diagnosed again, you know, if somebody said, no, you can do it holistically. You don't have to have chemo. I'm like, I'm doing whatever I have to do. I'm like, I was too scared. Make me bald, make me fat, do whatever. I'm too scared. And then I didn't hear when people offered me really good nuggets of wisdom because that fear just, you know, and that's the challenge. It's like, you know, you're not saying your daughter shouldn't do these treatments, but

Try a keto diet. What's the worst that can happen? You do it for a month. You hate it. It doesn't work for you. You stop doing it. know? So super good news. Last week she called me. It's not cancer after like, it was like, it was a benign tumor. That's her news right now. And they had done a week and a half of keto and her body had taken her like from an eight pain to like a zero, you know, just because it does such a good job at mitigating inflammation.

Can I be honest, since I got cancer, Paleo is pretty much the same as Keto as far as I know, and Banting, because I was in South Africa. So when I finished treatment, I started doing Banting, which is the same. And I have to say, I've never felt healthier, clearer. I loved it. So the last year, the more I become part of the whole spiritual drive and the plant medicine tribe and all those people, everyone is

Vegan, vegan, vegan, vegan. When I told them that I wasn't, I not even wasn't, that I was, you know, a keto diet, it's like, ooh, judging, judging, judging, judging. And I think that got the better of me and I was like, ooh, how can I be spiritual and be keto? Okay, I'm going to have to go vegan. I've never felt so unhealthy in my whole life. No, it just didn't work for me. I'm not saying that it doesn't work. I think we all have to find our thing, but when I tried, my skin was bad.

I was getting ill. was like, my body was like, no, don't do this to yourself. And so I'm trying to find this in between place, but it's like, it's impossible. It's so difficult to find this place where I can keep all parts of me happy. You know, I know. I mean, everybody tells me they're like, oh my God, with the pro, you know, if you eat lots of protein and you're eating, you know, you're not eating vegetable forward that you're going to age. I'm creeping on 43 in a week. I don't look like my other.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (38:41.697)
43 year old friends. know, this is, 47. Look at me. look hot. Unreal. Right. Unreal. Hot dance. And that's from protein, man. But here's my problem. I did an ayahuasca retreat and the plant medicine told me that I shouldn't eat animals. And now I'm like, Oh, now what do I do? Yeah. Now I'm in this big conundrum. I'm like, Oh, I don't know how to eat anymore. I think you can biohack.

you know, being a vegetarian. Listen, I've looked at too many brain scans. You know, you can look at predominant brain waves in a vegan. They don't show up very cute. There was this great study where they had a bunch of they had like 100 vegans, you know, go in and they detested how much they couldn't stand protein and they ate protein. They scanned their brains and their brains were like alpha beta. just the brain's so happy they went into this predominant brainwaves state. And, you know, I guess that's what we know now.

I'm open to learning more. Maybe there's a portal with which we break through. You know, it's possible our thoughts control our biology, biology of belief. That's true. Maybe there's a level of awareness and, you know, cognitive presence that we're just not at yet to, you know, maybe veganism or vegetarian moves you to a higher plane where you don't need to eat. I've heard stories that my friends tell me these stories of people. I don't know if I believe it, but

You know, I know you can fast 40 days. Yeah, I've had some crazy stuff. There's a name for them. Waterian or something. Breatharians. People do I mean, I know, I know I've heard of these people eating so, so little. you know, it's, guess there's always going to be people on the fringe. You've always got to entertain, you know, who's at the outsides of the spectrum. And that's fascinating. Those outliers, there's lessons to be learned there. You know, there's a great book I was reading called Cured.

about all these horrible, you know, late stage chronic conditions, Alzheimer's, stage four cancers of them having these spontaneous healings. And it was this doctor in New York who went around the world exploring these cases. He went and met with all these people, hundreds and hundreds of people. And, you know, he came up with similar themes that they were doing. And it was, I think the biggest thing from that book was mindset, spirituality. It was changing your setting, changing your environment. Of course,

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (41:05.215)
course, eating a clean diet, you know, drinking clean water. It was more about a purity and living in accord with nature, you know, and with yourself and with yourself. I I think that's what freed me. think just learning what spirituality, what I love about the word spirituality is it can be whatever you want it to be. So I teach my clients essentially when you say I'm going to start following a spiritual path, you get this toolkit.

the shiny toolkit and it's completely empty. And then as you walk along the path, you're like, positive affirmations. I resonate with that. So you stick that in and then guided. Okay. That kind of meditation. I don't like you walk past it, but guided meditations on that app. I like that. I'll put that in and then your whole beliefs. It doesn't have to be one set thing like any religion or, it can be whatever you want it to be. But if

The key is daily spiritual practice. If I didn't have daily spiritual practice, then my life wouldn't be as blissful as it is. It's that simple. It is about, you've got to make it as important as brushing your teeth in the morning. It's got to become that routine. And that doesn't mean you have to meditate for an hour. Whatever your practice is, you just have to do it every day. Just like eating and drinking, has to be that normal.

And I think people are always like, I want to meditate, but I've been busy. It's like, well, you don't say that about eating, drinking or brushing your teeth. Yeah. I've also found that the meditation can just, you know, meditation is bringing you in a state of total presence. I can cook and medicate. I can be like how I grab the ladle or the fork, how I turn on the heat and like watch the flame. And you know, you're just like completely you're gone. You're cooking.

And that's my meditation. But you're in it. You're in the moment. You're so in it. When I play with my dog, it's like, there's nothing else. I am so present. That is what meditation is trying to achieve. That's why people shouldn't like, know, meditation is not one fixed thing. can be what works for you. I totally agree with you.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (43:18.849)
I totally agree that mental health is like, love talking to you. could talk to you for like 17 days. We'll do it. We'll do another. I already have a hit. I have an intuitive hit about collaboration. Yeah, man, I'm so there. Your name of your podcast makes you want to be on your podcast because I'm beautifully broken and I'm proud. I'm doing it this year. This is going to be the year of building this platform up. You know, I often think about how to best service people coming into this conversation around.

cleaning up the body, cleaning up the spirit, cleaning up the mind. And I love coaching, but I've often thought that you gotta build a way for people, you gotta meet people where they're at and how to bring them in the door. And I have a couple ideas. I have some ideas that just to make it fun and rock starry and more of like a collective, you more of like a community collective than the one-on-one, you pay me my three month package and you've got all this. It gets really granular and you have people that rock it.

And you have people that don't. I've found through building community, you know, this is one thing we do with this technology, AmpCoil that I work with, it's all about community. It's about not doing it alone. And that's, again, this is what's made 2020 so hard. It's just this division and separation from each other. It hurts. You know, I ran from community my whole, I just, was like, ew no. But now it's everything. And there's so much power in doing something.

connection, human connection, doing something together, the power in it. It just grows and grows and grows and then it spreads out and out and out and it affects more and more and more people and it's just spreading the light. My assistant is so cool because, you know, I was looking for people all over the, and I was like, ah, I'm going to hire somebody in South Africa. I did. Yeah, I did. I did. And she's awesome. And it's so hard, you know, for me, it's so hard to give over control.

And I'm like, no, want this to look this way. this, you know, cause I don't know. I'm just like, I'm very particular, but it's been, it's this morning we were throwing stuff back and forth on WhatsApp and Google drives. And I was like, my God, this is so fun to collaborate. I don't want to do it by myself. know, I think we're controlling about it just because we are so passionate and it is our heart. your baby. It's your heart. means, so in a way.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (45:42.207)
You know, I know we say, we're going to be in controlling, but it's more beautiful than that. It's like, it's precious. It's so precious. But to get somebody else, because we lose perspective, obviously, and to have somebody else come from over here and say, what about this? And you're like, Ooh, never even thought of that. And then, yeah, it takes it somewhere you didn't even think in a million years it could go. Yeah. It's incredible. It's incredible.

I have complete faith in you and I know that you're going to be doing some incredible, incredible, incredible things. I know it. don't, it's not an if, it's just when and it's all starting and it's going to be amazing. Yeah, I feel it. It's the age of Aquarius, February 3rd. I know it's so exciting. Yeah, it's happening. What would you tell people about the Cancer Misfit? Let's talk about the book a little bit. Okay. So for me, when I went through cancer treatment, there were doctors, nurses, my friends, my family, like I had support.

And then the doctor said your treatments finished and then the doctors go to the new patients and then my friends and my family understand that we get on with their lives and then suddenly you go from being held to like just being in this no man's land. It's like, okay, did that just happen to me? What do I do now? Who am I now? What happens now? And

When I looked for support online, when I finished my treatment, there was nothing. know, charities have maybe one page for life after cancer treatment. There's nothing out there. So I spent since my cancer treatment when I was in rock bottom, I journeyed and I looked for answers and I found them and I wrote a book for any survivor out there, whether you've just finished treatment or you finished treatment five years ago.

for everything you need to know to live the greatest chapter of your life after treatment, because that's a huge part of the journey. The journey doesn't end when the treatment does. And I think this is the myth. The journey doesn't end there. That's the time where now all that, you know, now you've got to deal with mind, body, emotions. You know, you've got to discover who you are and heal. takes time. And my book basically, if I do say so myself,

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (48:02.195)
It offers you everything you need. If I had had this book when I stopped treatment, I wouldn't have wasted three years feeling like utter crap. And I called it the cancer misfit because that's how I felt. I didn't fit into my old life, but I didn't fit into a new life yet. I was in this in-between place. And I was beautifully broken and owning that, you know, even already on social media.

You know, when I mentioned the cancer misfit, you know, so many survivors are like, hashtag cancer misfit. I'm a cancer misfit. It's okay. Also, who wants to be called a cancer survivor forever? sounds like we're perpetually in the state of struggle. So I'm not a survivor. I'm a cancer misfit. And I love that because I don't think being a misfit is a bad connotation. Who wants to fit in? I want to stick out. Yeah. That's beautiful.

I'm just telling people to embrace who they are after treatment and how to do it. Also, really good exercises and tools, not just, oh, you should try feeling like this. And it's like, no, no, no, I'm going to give you things. If you do these things, you wait, you wait and see what's going to happen in your life. That's amazing. And I got a book deal. I manifested a book deal. You know, do you consider yourself a writer? Yeah, I do.

I always loved writing, but at a very young age, the loud voices in my life said getting a book published is like winning the lottery. So I gave up the dream and I never tried. And it was only after cancer. thought, screw that. I'm going to try it. And guess what? As soon as I tried it and believed I could, I got a worldwide publishing deal with my dream publishing house. It wasn't about getting a book published. I wanted Hay House. And if I could do that, I'm sorry, anyone can.

The key is you gotta believe, you gotta believe, you gotta believe. Yeah, you gotta believe. You gotta believe. How can people that listen to this podcast learn more about you? Where should they go? Where should they find you on social? So social, just Google Saskia Lightstar. It's saskialightstar.com and on Instagram, saskia.lightstar. And I really like Instagram. I'm quite fearless on there. I'm just my authentic self, take it or leave it. I don't try and filter everything and

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (50:29.629)
make myself look perfect and all that bollocks. And the cancer misfit, the book is everywhere. So exciting. I got my first copy yesterday and in lockdown by myself with my dog. So I did it on Instagram and Facebook live just so I felt like people were with me when I opened the envelope, but it's on Amazon. Farms and noble waterstones. It's everywhere. So yeah, Google it. Amazing. Well, we're almost at our hour.

So I want to be respectful of time and we'll do it again. We'll do another one. I loved our conversation. I'm so excited for people to hear this. It's so easy to talk to you. I have a couple of questions as we end. we've, said we touched on it quite a bit, but what, what does it mean to you to be beautifully broken? It's realizing that all the imperfect parts of yourself are the most exquisite parts of yourself.

It's the damage that's been caused by the pain in your life and it's the scars, the physical scars on your body and it's your fun ability. Those are the juicy bits. Those are the juiciest, most delicious parts of you. We just been thinking the complete opposite. Once you nail that man, the world is your oyster. I love it. And I'm going to give you a magic wand. You can gift.

the world one superpower in 2021, what would it be? Universal love for all mankind. Love, love, love, and more love, and a teaspoon more of love, and a trickle more of love. Beautiful. For sure. Beautiful. Well, thank you, my new friend, Saskia Lightheart. It's been a pleasure, and we're going to do it again. Can I just say one thing? Oh, please. For your followers who are survivors,

I'm offering free access to my module. I do a life after cancer treatment online course. So if anybody wants to access the first module, I can give you the details so they can access it for free. perfect. We can put that in the show notes. Perfect. Cool. That's a really, really nice offering. You've been an amazing guest. Thank you so much. Namaste. Namaste.

Freddie Kimmel and Saskia Lightstar (52:55.785)
Ladies and gentlemen, you made it to the end of the podcast and here we are at season two. I think this is the beginning of something really beautiful. So one way to support the podcast is to head over to freddysetgo.com and check out Freddy's Faves, where I've linked every five star product and healing modality you hear about on the show. Most offer significant discounts by clicking the link or using the discount code. Please know they don't cost you anything extra.

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This is a message from my vast legal team of internet lawyers. The information on this podcast is for educational purposes only. By listening, you agree not to use the information found here as medical advice to treat any medical condition in yourself or others. Always consult your physician for any medical issues that you might be having. That's it for today. Our closing, the world is hurting. We need you at your very best. So take the steps today to always be upgrading. while life is pain, putting the fractured pieces back together is a beautiful process. I love you.