Words to Create your Ultimate Reality with Mark England

Episode Highlights

0:50 - The magical work of Mark

7:34 - How can we communicate better in a charged atmosphere?

17:37 - The prerequisite to make your message stick

25:37 - Exploring the victim mentality

28:12 - The 4 components that we focus on when writing our story

33:07 - What if we had a fantastic story about ourselves and the rest of the world?

35:05 - What abracadabra actually means

36:50 - How to create kingdoms

43:33 - Become a voice of reason in the chaos

47:53 - Love is an inside job

50:07 - Mark's challenge for 2020

54:07 - Why you should be walking

58:30 - What does it mean to be beautifully broken?

CONNECT WITH MARK

• Find on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/markengland2020/
• Learn more - https://procabulary.org/
• Discover Enlifted - https://www.enlifted.me/
• Join Mark’s Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/166762304542930

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@beautifullybrokenworld 

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (00:02.274)
Welcome to the Beautifully Broken Podcast brought to you by AmpCoil. I'm your host, Freddie Kimmel, and on this show, we discuss the common threads survivors share after walking through the fire, the practitioners making a difference, and the treatment modalities that deliver healing back into the hands of the people who need it most. Witness the inspiration we gain by navigating the human experience with grace, humility, and a healthy dose of mistakes. Because part of being human is being beautifully broken.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (00:34.255)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the beautifully broken podcast. I'm here with a very special guest, Mr. Mark England. Mark, welcome to the show. Ready. Thanks for having me, man. It is it's going to be my tree. It's going to be the treat of the audience. I was just mentioning before we jumped on, it could not be more topical. The skill set, the toolbox with which you work in for the world right now, it's in such need.

Can you just give the audience a little bit of a, we'll call it like the mini bio of what you do and why it's magical? Yes, happy to. I was a kickboxer in college and wanted to go pro. All my friends were either going pro or opening schools or doing both. And so I decided, I liked the idea of an adventure out of college. Let's move to Thailand.

for a year. Sharpen up the skills, come on home, go pro, and the saga will continue. And guess what, Freddy? That's not what happened. I go over there and the exact opposite happened. I was planning on being over there for a year and doing those things. yeah, about five, six months in, I'm having my second knee surgery over there. Wah, wah.

And the whole thing stopped. And darkness descended. I used that experience as proof that there was something wrong with me. I was doomed to fail and I was not good enough at all. Shouldn't even try it. And I stayed in that space for a year. So much so that I didn't laugh. I don't remember laughing for an entire year.

And smiling was a challenge. Not a fun place at all. Okay. Can't really recommend it. So anyway, I was, it dawned on me one day that, buddy, you can do this. You can keep doing this version of you indefinitely. And I looked down that path and I saw a broken old man wasted life, wasted talent. And for good reason that, that gave me, I shuddered. Okay.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (03:00.315)
So said, cool, if that's what that is, I'll take anything but that. Right around that same time, I was an elementary school sports teacher at an international school in Bangkok. Ended up staying over there for 10 years. Went for one and some kickboxing and I stayed for 10 and got no kickboxing. What I did get though, was a crash court on how our words and our stories influence us.

So right around the same time that I'm like, gotta do something about this, man. I gotta change my life. My vice principal walks in and said, hey, wow, I just came back from this cleansing resort on an island in the Gulf of Thailand called Koh Samui. And I went down there for three days and I didn't eat. I just drank some broth and a couple of coconuts. I feel amazing. You should go. And I said, you know what? I will. That sounds interesting.

Great business model, by the way, get people to pay to not eat. Anyway, I go down there and I do a seven day detox, cleanse, do the program, do a bunch of yoga, meet a lot of interesting people doing the same thing. At the time that place was a poppin'. Freddie was so busy, high vibe, lot of action. And I felt better about just me in general. I said, okay, cool, I'm going back. And I did on my third trip.

back down there, there was a gentleman giving a talk on emotional detoxification. Emotional detox, that was the title of the presentation and to me and all my wisdom, I laughed at it. Psh, emotional detox. But I went and what I saw moved me. I saw a woman that she told a story about a really bad breakup.

One that happened four years ago, she was still so upset about it. She wouldn't get into another relationship. A block, a real block. And this, the guy that was facilitating, man that was facilitating the emotional detox workshop, he talked, walked her right through the story and she's crying, angry, tears, a lot of them. Tell me the story again, change some, change a couple of things in the middle. See what happens. She does.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (05:22.907)
She goes through it a little bit different of story, slight adjustments. The story was more accurate now. And now she's sad, no tears. So she's, she's, he's deescalating the situation. She is, she, she is going through a process of down regulation. And then the third time was the charm, played it through, changed, changed one major thing at the end. And now she was basically neutral about it. And she goes, huh.

When you're working with someone as far as their language and their story is concerned and they go, hmm, or or huh, it's called a cognitive shift, means something cool just happened. And she goes, you know, she got all that emotion out of the way, which allowed her to see the situation different. goes, you know, that wasn't gonna work out anyway. The guy was actually really weird. 10 minutes ago, she went into a kill-up.

And I looked at that and I said, that's not my story and that is my story. So I got up and went to the internet cafe. They had those at the time, this is in 2003. And I printed out an 80 page manual on how to do this work on yourself. And I went and started going to work on my story. My story of what happened. My story of what happened to my kickboxing career, my fighting career.

and a bunch of other stories that happened. Anything else that I could find in my story that elicited the negative emotional charges. Anyway, I made progress. felt even at that time, even a little bit of relief was heaven sent. And so I said, there's something here. that was the beginning of, I was 16 years ago, I studied this particular system for three years before I went

back down to that same spot in 2007 and became one of their practitioners. 13 years later, still in the language game, still in the story game. yeah, we've done some interesting things and we're just getting started. Talk about timing, man. I know. The world needs help with the language game, It really does. know, I want to frame it in the right way.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (07:46.259)
I want to say the last two weeks were two of the most challenging weeks for me being on planet Earth, sitting back and witnessing how we're interacting with one another, mostly in the online space, which is, know, it's a new thing in the last like 40 years, 30 years, very new. And I'm watching us fail at it as human beings as a species.

You know, the inability to build each other up, the inability to support each other, to love each other unconditionally. And, and I know the problem is why it hurts me is because I know it's there. Some of the people that I watched clashing like Titans, I know them. They're amazing people, but the words that they're using and how they're trying to break apart an issue, it's all conflict. It's all conflict. So.

I mean, I would love for you to shed some light on how can we navigate, how can we better navigate the situation right now where we have all these very charged items on the table that are so important to talk about. You know, the, the, we're facing a global pandemic, the civil unrest and, and, and the events that have unfolded after, the last two weeks after the death of George Floyd and, and many others, we have so much on the table right now. And it's just.

It's never been so important how we communicate to each other. So 13 years in the game coaching, researching, and presenting about the power and the mechanism and the mechanics of our words and our stories. I'm going to drop some numbers, just give some context. done over 5,000 individual coaching sessions, well over 500 professional presentations.

including a TEDx talk. Been on over 100 podcasts, but in two documentaries. We created two brands, one for the general audience and one for the fitness industry, all about words and stories. One's called Procabulary, the other one's Enlifted. And we've now graduated 60 coaches. So we're certifying coaches. I live and breathe this stuff. One of my business partners, called.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (10:07.579)
It calls me a one trick pony and I love it. I've got one lane. I've got one lane and it's the words and the distilled sentence is that our words powerfully influence us. Our language powerfully influences us and other people for better or for worse. And when we talk to people about how to play the game well.

the language game. We give the analogy of an oxygen mask on a plane. Make sure it's securely fastened on your face before you help anyone else with theirs. When someone goes into a stress response or a sympathetic nervous system response, they upregulate, also known as the amygdala hijack, it's psychological term, longstanding look at us.

And when that happens, when someone goes into a state, a upregulated state, their breathing gets trapped in their upper chest. When someone's breathing is trapped in their upper chest, one of the very, a lot of things happen. Two of the main things that happen in context to what's going on and what are some things that we can do.

is that when you or myself or anyone goes hot, we get tunnel vision and we become terrible listeners. And if there has ever been a time on planet earth that you want to be able to see a wide spectrum of scenarios and possibilities and probabilities and to distill information so you can make

good choices for yourself and the people that you come directly in contact with and be a good listener. Okay. When someone is in a jammed up, up regulated stress state, they're not having dialogues. They're having monologues. So when we, when we certified coaches, one of the themes

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (12:33.143)
through the coaching certification process is where to get your breath and where to keep it while you're coaching. Okay? You want it low and you want it slow. You want it in your abdomen. You want to breathe well diaphragmatically. You want to go parasympathetic. You want to go rest and digest. Keep that breath low and keep that breath slow.

And that's going to keep you loose. It's going to keep you in creation mode as opposed to survival mode. There are some exceedingly relevant and important topics that are front page and center for most of the world right now. And some of the language being used.

is of a sort that will only create more conflict. It will only create victim villain dynamics. The first thing my driving teacher said when I got in the car, he said, hey, Mark, nice to meet you. Look where you want to go because you're probably going to go there. Interesting. Very interesting. So whether it's

COVID-19 and the death of George Floyd or the sun shining and everything is working with. And we get asked the question, well, where do I start? We give two pieces of advice. The first one is at times practice talking at 80 % of your normal rate of speech.

as in slow yourself down 15 to 20 % and watch what's gonna happen. When someone slows down their rate of speech by 15, 20%, they're going to breathe better. They're going to be, and like I said, when someone is breathing better, they're listening better. When someone is breathing better, they are more comfortable in their skin.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (14:58.583)
There is a certain amount of stress and conflicts that we create for ourselves. And minimizing that is, is it the best place to start? Maybe. Okay. And it is a, it is part of the solution for sure. One way we could talk about it, you know, there's, there is a difference between hate speech and self-hate speech.

And when my personal experience of this and also my professional experience of this is when I'm having a better conversation with myself about myself and what I can do and I'm using my language to work for me and I'm using my language to talk, help me talk myself into opportunities and better relationships. And I'm building myself up in my mind and I'm helping, I'm helping myself breathe well. Okay. Then.

By a very natural and organic extension, I give that out to other people. And I'm less easily angered, much less easily angered. So if I'm much less easily angered, I'm much more considerate. I'm much more, I mean, I'm kind to myself. I'm being kinder to myself.

And as a by-product, most of the time when people feel good about themselves or somewhat good about themselves or even a little bit better than they did last week, it's easier to do that for other people too. And this is the one thing that we've been talking about borderline relentlessly for the past 13 years. And now it takes on a whole new context. You where do we want to go? What do we want to create? What do we want to see more of?

It is a challenge. It is a challenge. It's a worthy challenge, especially when someone is very upset and there's a lot of reasons to be very upset right now. It is challenge to articulate what you want to see and what you want to feel and how you want to be treated and how you want to treat yourself and how you want to treat other people.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (17:21.908)
and what you would like to see more and more and more of in the world. It takes skill to do that. And it's a whole lot easier to do when someone is 15 to 20 % more down regulated. It's a great tip, Mark. you you, because it almost goes against what we've been not sold, but when you see someone, when you see

When you see Mel Gibson on the horse delivering the monologue, you know, the speech is high and he's screaming and it's fast and it's pulse and it's Hollywood. You know, so you intensify and we pick up the speech and we feel like there's this like almost this mirrored rhythm that needs to happen when we're really gunning down what we believe in, what's mine, what I need for me. And we get up on that pedestal and you're right. You're right. What you said to me, you see that what I've done when I've

gone into that space is I've delivered a monologue. I haven't, I haven't engaged in conversation really. In my humble opinion, that's what we have to do. You know, we have to learn, we have to learn to communicate and, and, and feel each other and see each other and be seen, be heard, be validated. And I mean, I just, I believe this is the way through. here's the punchline.

in order for that stuff to stick coming from another person, we have to have laid the foundation, we have to have laid the groundwork for that ourselves about ourselves. You know, if I have a very low opinion of myself, how easy is it going to be for me to accept positive feedback, compliment, love from other people? There's gonna be part of me that's

and antithetical to it. Okay. Because we have hardware that does the job really well. It's called the reticular activating system or RAS for short. Once upon a time in 2017, I'm walking out the door to give a presentation one morning and I walk over to where my car was parked the night before and it's gone. So

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (19:47.948)
I get on the phone and I call the police and I say, Hey, police, my phone or my car got stolen. They said, we're on the way. Then I called my dad and said, Hey dad, the car got stolen. I need the farm truck. got stuff to do. So I get a ride out to my father's farm where I pick up one of his prize possessions in the world, which is a 1985 Ford F 150 mint condition, two tones of Brown. We call it.

Brown and Browner. And I drive that 1985 Ford F-150, two tones of brown, around Richmond, Virginia for two months. And in one day, guess what I started seeing more and more of out on the road? 1985. There's actually a lot of them in Richmond, Virginia. I saw three in two city blocks. Only the people that have

1985 ish Ford F-150s know about that though, because their reticular activating system is programmed to find more of those things and edit out what's not that. It has, amongst other things, has a search and edit function. So most people have had that experience where they

get in the car, maybe they get a new car. Maybe it's just a cool car commercial, something catches their attention. And they start their life. Where are these cars come from? They've been there the whole time. Okay. And when whether it is a conversation of racism, or it is a conversation of taking a compliment, or a conversation of seeing opportunity.

or a conversation of fill it in. The reticular activating system is part of that conversation. One of the best things that anyone can do to understand more of why they pick out what they pick out and why they focus on what they focus on is watching two five minute videos on YouTube about the reticular activating system. Time very well spent. Go to YouTube, type in reticular activating system or

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (22:13.866)
RAS and just watch the first two videos. They're both about off the top of my head for around five ish minutes. Okay, that's enough. And guess what? Sometimes it's it's for trucks that program our reticular activating system. Sometimes it's our language. I had a woman come in, she sat down in the chair and she said, you know, having some problems in my marriage. So tell me more. And she said, my husband

thinks I'm beautiful, but I don't believe him." And then she corrected herself. She goes, well, truth be told, I won't believe him. I won't allow myself to believe him. She goes, I know where this is coming from too. She was 10 years old at her grandparents' house for Christmas. They're walking in the door and in the kitchen. Her great aunt is standing there and she

leans down and says, my, you have a big nose just like me.

And that little 10 year old girl tightened up, ran into the bathroom. And guess what? The first thing she took a look at was Freddie. nose. Which is now three times larger in her imagination than it was five seconds ago. And physically, of course, it's the same size. And so now she's got this filter. I'm ugly. And so when information that is

in conflict, antithetical to that comes up, it bounces right off. It might land for a hot second. But nah, I didn't really mean it. Or he's just being nice. They'll talk themselves out of it. And we're doing that all the time. You can't trust anyone these days. Somebody hears that a couple of times, maybe just once here as a child, that goes in. And it starts doing things.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (24:21.024)
It starts these ideas, they're not facts, y'all. My, have a big nose just like me. You're not gonna find that on the periodic table of elements. It's an opinion. Opinions run the show. And sometimes they're accurate or close to, sometimes they're so way off. It's just made up ideas.

You you can't, it's so hard to get ahead. I'm going to walk around, let's go back to that one. You you can't trust anybody. So I say what I say and then I breathe in certain ways too. Right. And so I go out into the world and I have experiences and regardless of what, know, your perspective is on things, there's going to be ups, there's going to be downs. and, and since I'm looking for.

evidence, proof that you can't trust anybody. I'm going to have a propensity for it. I'll even create stuff out of thin air to support my belief systems.

Which brings us to a very important part of the conversation, which is the definition of the victim mentality. I'm gonna take a little bit out of the middle. And the verbatim definition of the victim mentality, it is an acquired personality trait where a person tends to regard himself or herself as the victim of the negative actions of others, even in the absence of clear evidence. The victim mentality depends.

on a habitual thought process and attributions. victim, that second sentence is so telling, The victim mentality depends as in it has to have a habitual, which accurately implies duration and addiction thought process. This is Webster's definition of the victim mentality. And when someone knows more about the language patterns,

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (26:36.945)
in the vocabulary system is where there's a subset of the English language. It's called conflict language. And that's the language that people use accidentally and unconsciously to...

create excess indecision, fear and blame in themselves. And then that gets projected out into the world. The good news is there's a whole other way to tell myself a story about myself. Another story that brought into do a business insurance company and we were brought in to coach their sales team. This is in 2014.

We give the presentation and we do one-on-one sessions. And I'm sitting there, guy's sitting there. He's about 24 and he's struggling at work. And he said very enthusiastically, with a lot of emotional charge, Mark, I can't keep focusing on my past.

And not only did he stay that, Freddie, he turned around and said, Mark, can't keep focusing on my past. And he looked faster than what I just did. Okay. Turned around and looked behind him and then looked back at me and I'm staring right at him. And I go, you know, you just turned around and looked behind you, He said, what? I said, yeah, but what'd you see? And he had to stop and think about it. I saw myself all alone and on the couch.

So that was two out of four, y'all. When we talk about our words influencing us for better and for worse, there are four major components of our experience of ourself that we focus on. One, our physical body. He moved his physical body. He turned around and looked behind him, didn't even know he did it. Talk about our language commanding us to do things. Then his imagination. So the physical body, the imagination.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (28:37.608)
or posture, can say, if anyone's ever talked, everybody who's listening to this has talked themselves into a bad mood at some point in time. And if you stay there long enough, it's just, start to slump over.

Everybody's talked himself into a better mood or a good mood at some point in time. Hey, things are looking up and yeah, so my shoulders cool. I'm more, I'm presenting myself differently to the world due to the story I'm telling myself in my mind.

feelings and emotions. How was he feeling when he said, I can't keep focusing on my past? He was emotional. was he was angry and frustrated. So that's three and then drum drum roll. The fourth one is his breathing. He was breathing in his upper chest. Stress response. Let's address the hate speech. Let's also address the self hate speech, because we can and so much

So much good happens when we do. So what did we do? I had him pick up a pen, which is not just a pen, This is an instrument of influence. It's quite magical, in my opinion, by definition. See, the definition of magic, Freddie, is the ability to...

apparently alter the course of events using supernatural forces. It's not the ability to do it. It's the apparent ability to do it. And when someone uses their language, and when I mean language, I mean internal dialogue and so what we think and then our external dialogue, what we say and what we write in constructive, focused, clear, powerful ways.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (30:35.636)
You can make all kinds of interesting things happen for better and for worse. So for the better, we took what he said. I can't keep focusing on my past. I handed him a pen. I said, write that down. goes, what do you, huh? What you just said? what did I just say? I can't keep focusing on my past. yeah. Okay. Okay. Wrote that down. I said, if that's what you can't keep doing, what

can you start doing? And he said like a question, focus on my future more. I said, yeah, now make a statement, turn it into a statement. That was a question. And it took them a little, it took them a couple of reps. We got to practice better language. It's, and some of it's going to be clunky and awkward. And we have to think about how am I, how am I going to use my words? So

I focus on what I want instead of what I don't want. goes, I can, and he took that breath, sigh of relief of what folks pressure, I can focus on my future more. So he's talking himself into it. Cause we talk ourselves into stuff, again, for better and for worse. can focus on my future more.

So you see the difference of how those, the way I just said those two statements. Now I am prepped, I'm primed to take action, take better action, take productive action. So I asked them three things. Let's get three things written on paper about what you can do moving forward in your job to develop yourself professionally.

Cause that feels good y'all. When we're developing ourselves personally and professionally in ways that we want to, we become so much less codependent. We become so much more empowered. We feel like we have control over our lives because we do have more control over our lives. We become more autonomous. And in my personal and professional opinion, a part of the solution is better individuals.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (32:58.394)
Better us, better breathing, better breathing, better breathing mechanics, better dialogues, better stories. What if we had a fantastic story about ourselves and the rest of the world? Now, what if we had a clear story about how impressive human beings are? Pick your skin color. We're all very impressive.

We can all do we and we it's not that we can do we do do amazing things. Think of the stuff we've built over the years. And so we identified three things because, and he was able to do it y'all remember the reticular activating system because he used his language to focus his attention into his future and look at things that he could do that would add value to his professional life. It would have been so hard.

take out so hard and put in impossible for him to do that while saying, I can't keep focusing on my past. Okay, let me say that again. I can't keep focusing on my past. let me right now, I'm gonna magically come up with some great ideas about how to develop my future. The stuff ain't rocket science. Okay, it's actually quite simple. It's so simple, it's overlooked. The answer is right underneath our nose and right between our ears.

And so we did, he wrote down, there was two books he needed to read. He wrote them down. He wrote to purchase this and that today. Two, go to more social functions in his work, which he did, and three, get a mentor. And he wrote me nine months later. Said, my life's changed. I did all three of those things and I'm showing up different. Well, surprise, surprise.

Abra Kadabra, folks. I was talking to one of my good friends about it today. Let's go back before you learn what it means. Five years ago, what did you think Abra Kadabra meant, I thought it meant magic. Me too. Once upon a time, everyone, I'm down in Ecuador and I'm having dinner with friends and one of the guys at the table, knew I was in the language game. said, hey, Mark.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (35:24.282)
Do you know what abracadabra means? And I'm like, yeah, magic. He goes, no, there's a lot more to it than that. He said abracadabra was Aramaic, is Aramaic. And it translates to with my word I create or with my word I influence. The hair stood up on my arms and the back of my neck. put my fork down. I went over sat next to him. said, tell me everything you know. You can look this up.

the metaphysicians of the day, the teachers of the day, they would triangulate abracadabra and wear it around their neck as an amulet to remind them of the power and the mechanism of the spoken word because they knew if they got that right, it laid the foundation for all higher functions. And they also knew that if they got that one wrong, then it's a real uphill battle.

It really is. It's a it is a tremendous. Muhammad Ali. He said it's not the mountain that we climb that wears us out. It's the pebble in our shoe. That's That's gold. That's pure 24 karat, folks. That's the gold. You know, I.

I hear all this stuff, Mark, and it's so tangible. It's so actionable. It's something you can do today to change your reality, to change your worldview. And what happens for me when I start to apply some of these lessons and I always, you know, I think doing podcasts, one thing that's happened to me over the last year, 70 episodes, in listening, listening to other people speak, you start to see a pattern.

You start to see a pattern of people who have become millionaires, people who have a successful practice, people who have beat stage four cancer, people who have saved hundreds of children from famine, people who have conquered toxic mold that they never thought they would get out of. It's the core belief that they were worthy of healing, that they were worthy, that they were filled with enough unconditional love

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (37:48.188)
that there was never really a question when they would get better. If they would get better, it was when they knew they knew in their genes and their DNA and and when they tell their stories. It's just sort of it's it's nice to be on the ride while they narrate it. You know, you're like, what a treat for me. And then you'll have the counter experience where, my God, I hate to throw my dad under the bus, but I'm about to throw my dad under the bus because it's topical, you know.

Today, I said, dad, I'm just calling to tell you I love you. How you doing? I just want to tell you I love you. I've been talking to you a couple of days. Well, I got to be honest. I could be better.

I'm seven days without the lawnmower. Let me tell you what's happened with the lawnmower. I was promised it would be repaired for $490. Guess who's not mowing their lawn today? Me. And he starts to go into this story and the narrative and the problems and the things. And I'm 10 minutes in, 11 minutes. I was like, dad, do you want to continue this beautiful narrative?

why you can't mow the lawn right now because I want to get to some more reasons why I love you. And I love the story and it's a really good story, but I want to change topics. Is that okay? And my dad's like, yeah, that's okay. And we moved on. That's high level, dude. It was amazing. And I was like, you know, and it's...

just to say, and not to throw my dad under the bus, my dad's an amazing human being, done some of most incredible things I've known a human being to do, battled adversity and addiction and amazing things. But we all get caught in our ruts. And to just, for me to go into the conversation was like, I wanted to tell my dad I love him, and I wanna get off the phone feeling like I wanna feel that vibration that I know is between me and my dad.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (39:55.081)
And I know time is short on the planet earth. So I redirected and I took us there and we ended in a great spot. you know, and I, and I, and from this week, you know, from these last two weeks, we never know when we're going to get off the planet. So, so, so for me, why would you ever wait to do this work? When someone saying without a change in income,

without a change in relationship, without a change in geography, you can create a kingdom with your words and how you interact with the world. Fact. Fact. Fact. guess what? Because guess what? Fact. Because guess what? The only times kingdoms have ever been created have been with words. Now, I know right now is a nation, as far as leadership goes,

It can be challenging. some of the language that we see, how do I want to say this? I, I don't want, I don't like getting political on the podcast. I try not to, I try to show up at these core truths, but it can be challenging because we're given a certain example and well, that's, that's, well, he did that. He behaved that way and we've got to rise above. We, can't, think at this point, we can't wait for somebody else to set the stage, how we're going to do this. So it's sometimes you got to lead from the back. And I think.

this is is that time. is that time. I'm not 100 % sure that this is the Super Bowl. We're in the playoffs though. We're in the playoffs. Yeah. And lead from below. As in with your breath, folks, breathe well. A little bit of attention to how you're breathing once or twice a day. That adds up.

and you will be more constructive with your words, you'll also sound different. Okay, I'm a professional speaker and a professional speaking coach. And one of the first things that we go over when I take on a new client is the importance of breathing low and slow when you present. When someone is breathing in their chest, shallow breather,

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (42:18.57)
breathing, labored breathing, coastal breathing, and they're giving a talk. We've all seen this. They come off as an amateur. It's hard to get in. It's hard to get in there with them. Yeah. Yeah. It's off-putting. It's uncomfortable because they're uncomfortable. Now, the professional, on the other hand, has command over their breathing, and they tell their story.

from deep in their abdomen and it sounds different. And not only does it sound different, they have range with their words. They can inflect and they can pause and they can get excited and upregulated when they need to and tell about the amazing things or...

bring it down low and make the important emotional points. So they've mastered in one sense the way to play the instrument. We are instruments. We are instruments of influence, first and foremost to ourselves and then other people. You want to be a voice of reason in the chaos? First and foremost to yourself, get your breath low, get your breath slow.

Otherwise, you're going to get wrapped up in this thing and you're not going to like the outcome. Because no one will. Because stress states they get addictive. And even when the threat has passed, we get into the promised land and we're caught. Our reticular activating system is still looking for the villain. Then we're going to superimpose that when it's not there. I'm very hopeful. I am very hopeful about

the state of things and where we're going. And it's a feeling. It's a feeling. It's in my body. I'm loose, dude. I'm loose. I'm heavy in the right way. I'm settled into myself. I'm comfortable in my body. My mind looks at the situation and I'm like, yeah, we're in it. And language fuels action. So the language that is being used, a lot of it

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (44:43.934)
The earthquake has happened and the tsunami is on the way. And I am also, I feel very good about the state of this process that we're in. And there will be times to talk, there will be times to listen, the whole thing is going to be extremely entertaining for better or for worse.

We're on the other side of this. There's going to be a lot of beauty and a lot of love because in my opinion, is the, the, that's the opposite and the antidote to racism, the opposite and the antidote to racism is not anti-racism. It's love and respect. I had a phone call this morning with dude I went to high school with. He went by the name Joe Coward then, and he lives in Atlanta now, black guy. And.

He goes by Mus Zoser Ankhat now. And he just wrote a book came out maybe five, six months ago about being bi-cultural. growing up in white suburban, Richmond in the nineties, what that was like harder for him than I thought I was. Yeah. I was in my own world and what, traveling did and he went over to London and his

stayed over there for a while and his whole worldview changed and he came back and moved down to Atlanta and wrote a very beautiful book, a lot of love, a lot of love in there, a lot of tact. And he talked about all the things that are happening right now. He was a little ahead of the curve and this curve being this massive spike in the conversation about race relations. And I told him at the end, said, dude, I love you and I respect you. And that's it, that's enough. Or that is

That's beautiful, in my opinion. And you know what? He thought it was beautiful too. So, much so, that he and I are doing a, I got a couple of buddies in Richmond who have film studios and he and I are gonna get together July 17th, 18th and 19th, it's a weekend. And we're gonna get on camera together and we're have a conversation about this side by side. Yeah.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (47:11.262)
And that's how this thing moves forward in a fun direction. There's a reason why I'm comfortable around Thai people. It's because I lived there for 10 years. Go have some fun with thy enemy. Go have some fun with your perceived enemy. And again, it's an inside job. This is the OG, the original inside job.

get my story under control, breathe better, feel comfortable in my own skin, and then I'm to be more comfortable with other people. And I'll see them for who they are instead of an inherited story about whatever. Yeah, it's, it's, I had that, it was like this beam from the heavens and my sun roof is open, but the beam from the heavens hit me on the head this morning after I got out of a PT session. And I just sort of.

You know, I just had this moment. It was like love is an inside job. if we're out there, you know, and we're out and we find ourselves in these situations and you're pushed, it doesn't have to be literally pushed, but it could be physically pushed or pushed online. You know, what pours out of the cup? You know, what pours out of my cup? I'm usually like pretty empathetic, loving human being. So I'm usually going to, with childlike inquisitiveness, I'm going to say, did you do that?

Let's start the conversation. But it's going to be love that spills out. But if you are filled with self-hate and self-doubt and a sense of lack and you're pushed, that's pours out. And I think we're seeing varying degrees of that across media in the country. We're seeing support of that. We're seeing other people pull back from a bird's eye view. And look at America. My friends from New Zealand and Australia, they're calling me and saying, hey,

If you are you alive or if they say, hey, if you need to come here, like come here, like we we see that it for us, it's so uncomfortable to watch you guys. And you're like, no, don't be embarrassed of America. It really does have some good stuff going on. But but you do you feel that in from an outsider? I've heard that from multiple different people from multiple different continents. yeah. Same work. Just just want to let you guys know we're concerned.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (49:39.658)
We're concerned. You guys, know, it's in it's oh God, I did. am with you though. I am hopeful. I am hopeful. I want to ring that out for everybody that listened to the show. I really, really am. And and and coming out of a couple of weeks of just like embarrassment and shame and self-hate for having blind spots. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready to do this. I've got tools. Mark's got tools. I mean, listen, Mark.

How do people get in and get some of this training? Is there like a bootcamp? Is there a base level training? Where would you start? Because, now I've now to be fair, everybody listening, like I've done some of Mark's stuff. I've listened to Mark speak for a while and I, can't underestimate, I can't undervalue the value of what he does. It's so important. And it sounds like you said, it's simple stuff. Well, it's the stuff we don't do because I don't see people using this type of

language when we communicate, especially with people that don't share our beliefs. And this is these are the tools. I have another thing for you. So I want to know where people can get started. Let's go there. Let's do that first. And then I got to I don't just don't want to lose the other question. OK, very cool. I have an Instagram account like some people and the address, the handle is Mark England 2020 and it is

And it's a free language training school, turned into one. And so I post there almost every day, just a very simple post about words, example, giving context. And it's a great place to get the tone of this practice. Because guess what? Mindset is a practice. Racist ideology, that is a practice. Self-love is a practice.

Practice. Respect to you is a practice. And when we know more, even just a little bit more about what words to be aware of and potentially cautious of, words to use less of and what words to use a little bit more of, it makes the whole thing practical, as in it can be practiced. Okay? You know, let's talk about doing something.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (52:05.616)
That's the ultimate doing. Changing your words, which change your stories, which change your identities. And eight weeks ago, I woke up one morning and drank a cup of coffee. And I decided, let's do a one-off call for 20 people on how to supercharge your affirmations. The formula is simple. Accurate speech plus

plus empowered breathing equals much better results. We did that call and it went very well. Everybody said, that was awesome. Can we do another one? Of course we can. Next Thursday at 4.30 PM Eastern Standard Time, yeah, I'll be there. And then we had 100 people. And that turned into a Facebook group. We've got 1,100 people in there right now. And I've committed to doing a call every...

Thursday at 430 p.m. Eastern Standard Time for the remainder of 2020 because I'm curious about what's going to happen. If I do, go on Facebook and search Supercharge your affirmations. You'll find it. Hit a request button. I'll welcome you with open arms to the group. You can get on one of these calls. They're super high vibe.

The people in there are great. It's, it's, it's an hour of awesome. And again, it's complimentary. Yes, we have, there's, there's, there's businesses here. We've got a couple of businesses. started by, and we sell training. Yeah. It's a hundred percent. And this is, this is, this is what we're putting these things out for free because, because we want to, because it's awesome because we like people, we like ourselves and we like people. There's some simple math.

Yeah, I support it. I support it. Well, I want to see everybody there. also I also want to know, Mark, what are you what are you doing? What are you doing health and wellness wise, aside from the from your educational body? You're not a one trick pony. I beg to differ. What are you doing to keep your body grounded and solid? I mean, you're pretty you're pretty ripped and shaped, dude. I mean, you're

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (54:33.394)
What's your... Can you give us a quick little download on what you're doing to stay solid in regards to the pandemic so you feel secure where you're not afraid to go grocery shopping? Walking. Walking. Walking is a magic bullet. So I started paying attention in college to people that are over 80 and just on top of stuff.

Okay. And it was my college girlfriend's father's kindergarten teacher who was 85, five foot nothing and had a grip as strong as mine, sharp as tacks. I said, what do you do? What do you do? I walk five miles a day. And I've made a point to go and talk to people that are strong and vibrant and productive and having a good time into their later years. And they're all walkers.

So I started walking. It's what I do in the morning. I'm out the door. I get up, I drink some water, put my shoes on, I'm out the door. Half asleep. I'll go walk for minimum 30 minutes. And that right there sets the tone. Walking is a fantastic way to, we're supposed to walk. Okay, we're so under walked.

and guess what? You can do it with other people. You want to have a great conversation with someone? Go on a walk with them. Go on an hour walk with them and watch what happens. You will sync up with that person. You will get into rhythm with that person. big fan of solo walks. I'm a big fan of going on walks with people. That is my advice. That walking, I'm hammering this point on purpose. Walking is the foundation

for my exercise routine forever. guess what? It's free. It is not even low impact. It's regenerative. Go for a walk and then go for a 30 minute walk and then check in with yourself about how you feel afterwards. You're gonna feel better and you're going to have more energy. Feel better, have more. Go on walks, people. Go on walks and leave your devices at home. Okay? There's plenty of time to look at whatever.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (57:02.442)
Hmm, that's true. So the beautifully broken podcast, you've had your experiences with with putting pieces back together. What does it mean to you? What does it mean to you, Mark England, to be beautifully broken? It's a lot of fun. I've had a lot of fun. I've had a lot of fun breaking myself and fixing myself. And you know what? It's part of life. Do I know anyone that has broken themselves and

at least some degree put themselves back to get well, mean, people, okay, let me say this, say like this. It happens a lot. It's something in there. the polarity of things. It's the appetite for destruction. It's the appetite for construction, death and the rebirth, the hero's journey, if you want to get all Joseph Campbell about it. And it always makes for a good story. know, we're right now we're in the

greatest story ever told as far as humanity is concerned. So much going on and there's just there's something right about it as a natural. Like I said, man, I'm hopeful. It's not even hopeless. It's more than that. We're all going to be okay. love it.

Brother, it was a pleasure having you here. I thank you for being a guest on the podcast. Namaste. Thank you for having me on. Ladies and gentlemen, you made it to the end of the podcast. Now in a world where the average attention span is less than 10 seconds, we just spent almost an hour together. And I think this is the beginning of something really beautiful.

Now one way to support the podcast is to head over to freddysetgo.com and check out my newly launched page, Freddy's Faves, where I've linked every five star product and healing modality you hear about on the show. Most offer significant discounts by clicking the link. And please know it doesn't cost you anything extra and at the same time, they support the show through affiliation. So check out Freddy's Faves on freddysetgo.com.

Freddie Kimmel and Mark England (59:12.296)
This episode of the beautifully broken podcast was brought to you by our sponsor, AmpCoil, upgrading the vibrations of hearts, minds, and bodies all over the world. Thank you for tuning in. If you enjoyed today's show, head over to iTunes and leave a five star review. Grabbing a download is like giving this virtual thumbs up that we're doing it right. And if you want to connect with me, shoot me a message on Instagram at freddysetgo.com or at freddysetgo.

That's all for today. Our closing, our closing, the world is hurting. We need you at your very best. So take the steps today to always be upgrading, whatever it takes to move the needle. Remember, while life is pain, putting those fractured pieces back together is a beautiful process. I'm your host. I love you. Namaste. Have a wonderful day.